


Dangan Ronpa: Haunted By Despair

by Aero_Grillos



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Fan Dangan Ronpa, Gen, Murder Mystery, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Puzzles, Reader-Interactive, Screenplay/Script Format, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 67,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aero_Grillos/pseuds/Aero_Grillos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Fangan Ronpa where sixteen people with Ultimate talents are brought together for reasons they are not entirely aware of, since nobody bothered to tell them. At least they didn't pass out in a hallway this time. Not that this stops Monokuma from showing up and forcing them to kill each other, but it's the thought that counts.</p><p>Written in a script format, the reader gets to play along as these poor saps murder each other for questionably valid motives. A Fangan Ronpa for people who thought the actual game didn't say 'Fuck' enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Familiar Scenery

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dangan Ronpa: Forever Despair](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920717) by [Kitt_Monroe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitt_Monroe/pseuds/Kitt_Monroe). 



> The formatting for this is identical to Forever Despair's formatting, because it's neat and tidy. In case you haven't read it, go do so, and then look at this convenient guide.
> 
> Bolded words are the thoughts of our protagonist, who will introduce himself shortly.
> 
> Bracketed words are basically stage direction. Essentially if it would be a sprite in the actual game, it's in brackets here.
> 
> Doubled brackets indicate something like a title card, a truth bullet, or other game-like mechanics.
> 
> Everything else is just normal words, with italics for emphasis and the like.
> 
> Anything for the formatting of the trials will be explained when we get to the first one.

**Everybody loves a good vacation. It’s a chance to take a break from your everyday life and take an opportunity to do something unique, something refreshing, something other than kill a bunch of talented strangers at the behest of an obnoxious monochrome teddy bear.**

**And yet here I am, tasked to do exactly that.**

**Fucking wonderful.**

**I mean, really? A killing game? This thing is a real one-trick pony. I seem to recall that it already tried this, and it ended with the girl that masterminded the end of the goddamn world crushing herself to death because a Japanese teenager shouted the word Hope really loudly at a couple of sad people and a serial killer.**

**The serial killer may have been sad too. It was hard to tell.**

**What was I talking about?**

**Oh, right. I was trying to catch your attention by starting with a description of the situation I’m in before actually telling you anything about myself. It’s easier to connect to someone in a state of conflict than it is to connect to someone who just says “Hi, I’m Ray. Pleased to meet you.” Because of course they’re pleased to meet you, they don’t know all the reasons they should hate you yet.**

**Thank God nobody’s actually listening to the rambling bullshit that I pretend is an internal monologue. Except you, imaginary audience I consistently pretend can actually hear me. Sometimes I even pretend out loud. Like this.**

Ray: Hi, I’m Ray. Pleased to meet you. 

**Raymond Glenshaw, technically, in case you mysterious voices in my head really want to know my full name. I have a middle name too, but I have to have some secrets, eh?**

**Now that I’ve gotten ahead of myself, I should probably give a bit of context to the audience.**

**When they started to rebuild after the end of the world one of the first things people did was try to reestablish international relationships via the few ways we could scrounge up. It wasn’t that hard, honestly. Turns out there’s only so much damage a few million angry cosplayers can do to the structure of a country.**

**One of the things people did was try and recreate something to the effect of Hope’s Peak Academy, because it clearly worked so well the first time. Frankly, they were willing to try anything that had the word Hope in it after a teenager managed to end the world with the abstract concept of Despair.**

**I swear to God this isn’t going to be a long stream-of-consciousness ramble about things you already know.**

**Anyway, the smoldering ruins of the United Nations decided to set up a global talent scout program to collect sixteen people who exemplify a particular talent or ability from every country that had the population to spare those sixteen people.**

**I don’t remember the full list of countries, though it was long enough that I felt optimistic about the state of the world, but I know for certain that at least two of those countries were Japan and the good old USA.**

**I’m from the latter group.**

**With that bit of context out of the way, I can finally tell you my title without sounding like a narcissist.**

[[RAYMOND GLENSHAW, ULTIMATE NARRATOR]]

 

 **Of course by ‘tell you’ I meant ‘imagine a fancy title card for myself’ because I’m narrating to a fake audience inside my own head and I can do what I want.**

**I’ll let you judge for yourself my personal narration skills based on this rambling narration I’ve been giving you for a little while now. If it doesn’t seem particularly ‘Ultimate’ then I should probably clarify that the title mainly refers to my vocal narration skills, for movies or TV shows and the like. I can get into the details later if you like.**

**Back on track, the sixteen people collected from the USA were all flown into one area to meet each other and start working towards restoring Hope to the world through some process that nobody bothered to explain to me.**

**Without so much as a chance to introduce ourselves to each-other we were all rushed into our rooms and encouraged to get some sleep because the process immediately beforehand had kept us up for an entire day and we were all tired.**

**It was around that point that everything started to go to shit, so it’s probably a good time to switch out of narrator mode and enter the present tense. I might as well start with me waking up, because that isn’t super cliché.**

  

???: Hey.

???: Hey. Hey!

???: Hey! Wake up!

**I could tell the voice was trying to wake me up, since it literally just said that, but I couldn’t quite place who it belonged to. It sounded female, at least.**

**Hey look, the narration is back already. Did you miss me?**

**I felt something prod at my face, and I decided I should probably open my eyes.**

**The girl that had been prodding my face pulled back in apparent surprise. I could see she had shoulder-length hair that was an impossible pale pink color.**

???: [pouts, looking downwards] Damn, you’re still alive. I was going to ask Maria if she knew how to cook human meat, but I guess that’ll have to wait.

Ray: What?!

???: [laughs] Hah! Kidding, I’m kidding! [warm smile with wide eyes] Everyone else woke up an hour ago. We got so caught up in our various introductions that we forgot to do a headcount. When we finally did one we realized we were one short.

???: [folds arms with friendly smile] You look fun! So who are you? Name, talent, height, favorite food, favorite color, primary fetish, tell me everything!

**What was that last one?**

Ray: Uh… My name’s Raymond Glenshaw. My talent is Ultimate Narrator, and last I checked I’m 5 foot 9. I like mac and cheese, the color green and I guess blondes? 

**Why did I answer that?**

**She pulled out a little notepad and presumably wrote down what I’d just said.**

???: [folds arms with curled lip] Ugh, really? Blondes? That’s so generic. You’re no fun.

Ray: Well what about you then? Who are you?

**As she answered I realized I hadn’t gotten out of bed yet, and quickly sat up.**

???: [warm smile with wide eyes] My name’s Autumn Rowe and I am… (drumroll please).

**Autumn stopped talking and looked at me expectantly. I realized she was serious and started making a mock drumroll on my knees.**

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] …The Ultimate Comedienne!

 

[[AUTUMN ROWE, ULTIMATE COMEDIAN]]

 

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] That’s with an ‘ienne’ not an ‘ian’. Comedian is actually a gendered word, believe it or not!

 

[[AUTUMN ROWE, ULTIMATE COMEDIENNE]]

 

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Much better. 

**… I refuse to acknowledge that that just happened.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Anywho, I’m 5 foot 5, I like steak, my favorite color’s brown and I like guys who are taller than I am!

Ray: …Okay then.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] I bet you’re wondering how I got into your room, since it was locked. 

**I haven’t had a chance to say so much as ‘Nice to meet you, Autumn.’, but sure, let’s go ahead and change the topic.**

Ray: I don’t recall locking my door, actually.

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Really? Then I dragged Phoebe along with me for nothing?

Ray: Phoebe?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Right! You haven’t met anyone yet! I can fix that.

**She stepped over to the door and yanked it open. When she did, another girl fell forward and slammed into the floor.**

???: Ow! Dammit, I’m not done yet!

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Oh, I’m sorry Phoebe! I didn’t think you were still working on it!

**The girl on the floor, Phoebe, sat up and took off her glasses.**

Phoebe: [examines her glasses] [frowns] Augh! Now my glasses are all crooked! [pulls tools from belt] At least they didn’t break.

Phoebe: [fixes glasses] Fortunately I can fix them with my tools. [wide-eyed] Ah! My tools!

**Phoebe scrambled over to my open door and kneeled close to the lock. She very carefully pulled something out of the lock and examined it.**

Phoebe: [closes eyes, sighs] Oh thank goodness, it’s still intact. [adjusts glasses] That’s two disasters averted. Now I just have to wait for the next one.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] So everything’s fine then? How about you introduce yourself to Ray here? 

Phoebe: [raises eyebrow] Ray? [wide-eyed] Oh! Hi! I didn’t see you there, what with my glasses being all crooked and generally non-functional. 

Ray: Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate Narrator. Nice to meet you.

Phoebe: [friendly wave] Likewise! I’m Phoebe Williams, Ultimate Locksmith. Sorry for literally stumbling into your room like that.

 

[[PHOEBE WILLIAMS, ULTIMATE LOCKSMITH]]

 

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Phoebe here is 5 foot nothing, likes salmon, the color yellow and has a thing for pretty boys.

Phoebe: [bright pink with face in hands] Oh my God did you actually just say that.

Ray: Uh, right. I take it you picked the lock, or something?

Phoebe: [narrows eyes] [frowns] I’m a locksmith, not a thief. I disassembled it.

Ray: I didn’t actually lock it, though.

Phoebe: [closes eyes, sighs] I noticed that when I was putting it back together. [raises eyebrow] I’m a bit surprised you didn’t lock your door, though. There’s fifteen people you’ve never met in this building. What if one of them was secretly one of those bear-headed nutjobs?

Ray: Are any of them bear-headed nutjobs?

Phoebe: [adjusts glasses] No. But my point still stands.

**Phoebe seemed uncomfortable while talking to me, and was pretty much constantly fidgeting. She seemed more stable than Autumn though, which was a good thing.**

**I stood up, realizing as I did that I had apparently slept in my clothes.**

Phoebe: [frowns] Of course I’m the shortest person here. Figures.

Ray: Huh?

Phoebe: [slightly pink] Nothing.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Since you’re late to meeting everyone, you should just hurry over to the cafeteria. It’s down the hallway to the right. [warm smile with wide eyes] I’ll meet ya there! [leaves]

Phoebe: [friendly wave] I should be heading off too. See you later. [leaves] 

Ray: Oh, uh, see you later I guess?

**Nope, they’re already gone. I guess nobody wants to hear the me speak. But no, that’s fine. It’s not like my voice is my one outstanding talent or anything.**

**After that rather strange awakening I quickly changed into cleaner clothing and left my room. The hallway I entered seemed to be arranged in a cross shape, with four rooms on each corner section.**

**I walked down the hall to my right and passed through a pair of double doors into the cafeteria. A tall boy with inexplicably gray hair and a blue tuxedo was standing directly inside.**

???: [neutral, yet disgusted expression] You certainly took your time, good sir. Are you aware that you are over an hour late to this meeting?

Ray: Yeah, sorry. I didn’t know there was going to be one, so I didn’t think to set an alarm or anything.

???: [neutral, yet relaxed expression] Very good. Though I would hope it does not happen again, sir.

Ray: It won’t. I don’t want to make everyone think I’m habitually late. I’ve probably already left a bad impression. I’m Raymond Glenshaw, by the way.

???: [neutral, yet friendly expression] [bows slightly] Salutations Sir Glenshaw. I am pleased to make your acquaintance.

???: [neutral, yet proud expression] My name is Jacob Centworth. I am humbled to have been given the title of Ultimate Butler. I hope I can be of service.

 

[[JACOB CENTWORTH, ULTIMATE BUTLER]]

 

Ray: Nice to meet-

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Jacob is 6 foot 1, likes well-made omelets, the color _azure_ , italics apparently necessary, and prefers girls with tiny boobs, the weirdo.

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] I see you remembered the fine details. That is quite impressive of you Lady Rowe.

Ray: Autumn?! Where did you come from? And also, what?

Autumn: [slight smirk] What? I asked everybody the same thing. [wide smile with arms spread] If we’re gonna all be friends here then we should get to know each other as fast as possible.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] With that in mind, since I’ve already shared everything with everyone else, I need to keep you in the loop. [warm smile with wide eyes] Just pretend I’m not even here.

**I decided that arguing with her probably wasn’t worth the time or energy involved, since I had twelve more people to meet.**

**For his part, Jacob seemed unflappable. I swear his face hadn’t moved an inch while I was talking to him, but I could still tell what he was trying to get across. He spoke clearly, and seemed to be going out of his way to be polite.**

**… Aaand he just walked away from me before I could finish greeting him. Great.**

**I took a moment to look around the cafeteria. It was pretty generically laid out. There was a large table in the center with 16 chairs set around it, as well as 5 smaller tables with 4 or so chairs each.**

**There appeared to be an open kitchen in the back, with a few stools by the counter so you could watch the food be cooked while you waited to eat.**

**The room was rather full of people eating and talking. I noticed that two of the tables were occupied by a single girl each, both of whom were looking at various papers laid out in front of them. I walked toward the closer of the two to introduce myself, and Autumn tried to be inconspicuous about following me.**

**The girl at the table was lazily sketching something on the page in front of her with colored pencils. She had blonde hair styled into an updo and was wearing an elegant looking light blue dress.**

Ray: Hello. What are you working on there?

???: [hand in front of mouth] [shocked expression] Oh, goodness! I cannot believe it!

Ray: Sorry, did I interrupt you? 

???: [wipes her brow gracefully] [half-smile] Oh no! I am simply amazed there is someone here who is actually dressed sensibly. [fans her face] [frowns] Most of the people here are; how do you say? Fashion _disasters_. I am amazed they choose to leave the house dressed as they do.

**Her voice had an accent I couldn’t place. It was distinctly European, but it managed to sound like it could have come from anywhere in the continent and still be misplaced.**

Ray: Thank you. I try to look presentable. Just because I do voice work doesn’t mean I can’t look my best.

???: [hands over heart] [pleasant smile] An admirable notion. One I wish more of us here took to heart.

???: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] I am Madeline Watters, the Ultimate Fashion Designer. I think we will get along; how do you say? Swimmingly.

 

[[MADELINE WATTERS, ULTIMATE FASHION DESIGNER]]

 

Ray: Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate-

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Madeline here is 5 foot 7 and a half inches tall, enjoys hot dogs with excessive amounts of relish, likes the color _sangria_ , which doesn’t need italics but feels wrong without them, and evidently prefers her men to be sharp dressers. 

Autumn: [glances to the side] [slight frown] … I’m assuming that last part, because she wouldn’t answer the question.

Madeline: [hand in front of mouth] [sly smile] Well you are not exactly wrong. I would imagine most women prefer a man like that, no?

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Sure, maybe? I can’t say I care.

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] [rolls eyes] That is because you have no class, Autumn. A lady must be discerning in choosing a partner.

**I don’t think I’m part of this conversation anymore. Didn’t Autumn say I wouldn’t know she’s here? How am I supposed to get any character development when she keeps cutting off my conversations?**

**Madeline seemed pleasant enough, but there was a certain air of snobbery under her words. I get the feeling she would have been talking down to me if I had dressed more casually today. On that front I lucked out.**

**I considered walking over to the other girl with papers, but she seemed more focused than Madeline had. I decided to leave her alone for the moment while I talked to the cowboy instead.**

**…Wait what the hell.**

**Sitting with his feet propped on the large table was a man dressed as a cowboy that I somehow hadn’t noticed sooner. I immediately walked over to introduce myself.**

Ray: Hi. I desperately want to know what your Ultimate talent is.

???: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] Well howdy there, partner.

**Holy shit even his accent is perfect.**

???: [holds out hand] I take it you’re our late sleeper?

Ray: Yeah. It wasn’t on purpose, I swear. 

???: [chuckles] Hah! I ain’t one to judge. Nothin’ wrong with gettin’ a bit of shut-eye after a long day. [tips hat down] [smirks] ‘Course, I wouldn’t make a habit outta it. Otherwise I’ll be the one that has to do somethin’ about it.

???: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] Name’s John Wayne, Ultimate Cowboy.

 

[[JOHN WAYNE, ULTIMATE COWBOY]]

 

John(?): [mouth quivering] …...

John(?): [hearty laugh] Nah, nah, that’s ridiculous! [wipes tear from eye] I had you for like a second, though.

Ray: …No you didn’t.

**And thank God he can’t see the title card to prove otherwise.**

Not John: [claps hands together] [grins] Yes I did, and you know it.

Not John: [tips hat out of face] [grins] Seriously though, my name’s Caleb Turnbull. And while the cowboy thing was bullshit, I am actually the Ultimate Rancher.

 

[[CALEB TURNBULLSHIT, ULTIMATE FAKE COWBOY]]

 

**…I’m not bitter. Don’t be ridiculous.**

**…Fine.**

 

[[CALEB TURNBULL, ULTIMATE RANCHER]]

 

Ray: I’m Raymond Glen-

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Caleb here is 6 foot 3, likes to lie about enjoying bear steak, might also be lying about liking the color red, but sounded honest when he said he prefers his women, and I quote, ‘hot as the midday sun’.

Ray: -shaw, Ultimate Narrator.

Caleb: [holds out hand] Damn pleased to meetcha, Raymond. Or do you prefer Ray?

Ray: Just Ray is fine. If you’re a rancher, then why are you dressed like a cowboy?

Caleb: [tips hat down] [stern expression] Son, when you get an excuse to be a cowboy, you become a cowboy. That’s all there is to it.

Ray: I understand completely.

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] Aw, am I being ignored now?

**I continued ignoring Autumn and talked with Caleb about how cool cowboys are. After a few minutes I excused myself to go meet the rest of the group.**

**Caleb was pretty jolly for a cowboy. He seemed smarter than he looked, and something told me he could read me like a book.**

**Not too far from Caleb was a red-haired girl in a full-body jumpsuit. She turned toward me as I walked up and I noticed she had what looked to be an unlit cigarette in her mouth.**

Ray: Hello. I’m Ray.

???: [holds up unlit match] Hey there, Ray.

Ray: ……

???: [lights match] [stares at flame] ……

Ray: So, uh…

???: [glances away from flame] Huh? Oh, shit, sorry. That was my cue to introduce myself, huh?

???: [puts out match] [pulls lollipop out of mouth] My name’s Veronica Kinder. Apparently I’m the Ultimate Pyrotechnician, because I know my way around fire.

 

[[VERONICA KINDER, ULTIMATE PYROTECHNICIAN]]

 

Ray: Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate Narrator. Nice to meet you.

Veronica: [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] ……

Ray: ……

**I glanced over at Autumn.**

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] Oh, so now you want my input?

Ray: Well, it’s not like this conversation is going anywhere.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Good enough for me! [folds arms with friendly smile] Veronica is 5 foot 7, likes sweet foods, the color orange, and said she likes anyone as long as they’re ‘hot’, but I couldn’t tell if she meant it literally or not.

Veronica: [lights match] [lights lollipop] [glances between the flames] I sorta meant both, if you know what I mean? Like, I like people who are hot ‘cause they’re hot, and people who are hot ‘cause their blood is pumping, ya know? [points with lit match] Like Caleb.

Caleb: [grins] I appreciate the compliment.

Veronica: [points with lit match] Or Brittany over there.

**The girl she was indicating didn’t seem to hear her.**

Veronica: [puts out match] [stares at flame on lollipop] ……

Ray: … Well, it was nice talking to you.

Veronica: [glances away from flame] Hmm? Oh yeah, you too.

**Since she had clearly left the conversation, I decided to do the same.**

**Veronica seemed to fit her title well, considering she appeared to have fire on her at any given moment. She also wasn’t much one for small talk, and kept getting lost looking at her flames.**

**There was a casually dressed boy with brown hair, gloves, and a baseball cap pacing in the corner of the room, mumbling to himself.**

???: [concerned expression] …can’t believe this. What jackass designs a building like this?

Ray: Hey there. You look agitated.

???: [agitated expression] Of course I’m agitated. Have you not noticed what’s wrong here?

Ray: I don’t think so? What’s wrong?

???: [balls hand into fist] Some shithead designed this building without thinking ‘hey, maybe, just maybe, we should put some fucking windows in here!’

**I looked around the room. He was right. There weren’t any windows in the entire cafeteria. I didn’t recall seeing any in the hallway either, though that was further inside so that actually made sense.**

Ray: Are there seriously no windows in the entire building? I haven’t had a chance to see any of the other rooms yet.

???: [annoyed expression] I’m sure. I’ve checked every room on the outside section of the building, and none of ‘em have windows. [rubs shoulder] I’m getting antsy being inside like this, and the window situation is not fucking helping.

???: [raises eyebrow] I don’t think I’ve seen you before. I take it you’re our mysterious 16th resident?

Ray: Yep. Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate Narrator.

???: [dismissive expression] Name’s Ryan Sommer, Ultimate Landscaper. ‘Course I can’t really show that off when I’m stuck indoors like this.

 

[[RYAN SOMMER, ULTIMATE LANDSCAPER]]

 

Ryan: [agitated expression] Seriously, they’ve got a fucking Ultimate Architect in the building and they can’t design it for shit.

Ray: There’s an Ultimate Archi-?

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Ryan here is 5 foot 10, likes apples and carrots, enjoys the color green and started swearing at me when I asked what kind of girl he likes.

**Was she waiting for me to start talking just so she could cut me off?**

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] That’s because that’s personal fucking information!

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] You still could’ve been nicer about it.

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [bares teeth] _Could’ve been-_ [closes eyes] [takes a deep breath] Yeah, I probably could’ve been less of a dick about it.

Ryan: [grips his chest] Sorry, sorry. I swear I’m not usually this much of an asshole, I just desperately need to get outside.

Ray: I get that. I’m suddenly feeling claustrophobic in here myself.

Ryan: [concerned expression] I’m hoping we can get this meeting over with soon so I can get outta here.

**Ryan certainly had a temper, and he was fidgeting constantly while we spoke. I found myself hoping he could get outside as soon as possible, or this could end up being a rather uncomfortable stay.**

**I excused myself from Ryan’s company and looked for the next closest person.**

**Right nearby there was another boy. He was wearing a blue button down shirt tucked into brown slacks. His hair was brown. I tried to find a single other distinguishing feature, but came up blank.**

Ray: Hey there, my name’s Ray.

???: [holds out hand] [polite smile] Hello Ray. I’m John. Nice to meet you.

Ray: Likewise. So what’s your talent?

John: [polite smile] I’m the Ultimate Nondescript. You can probably guess my last name from that title.

 

[[JOHN SMITH, ULTIMATE NONDESCRIPT]]

 

John: [raises eyebrow] Since you know my talent, what’s yours?

Ray: I’m the Ultimate Narrator. I do all kinds of voiceover work for film and TV studios, usually for trailers of television spots. Most conventional narration in film is done by one of the actors, so there’s not much call for an actual narrator role.

John: [polite smile] That’s quite interesting.

**I suddenly realized how much extra information I’d given without prompting. That’s weird, I’ve never done that before.**

Ray: Uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to give you all that useless information there.

John: [laughs] It’s alright. It happens to me all the time. It’s how I got my title, actually.

Ray: That’s a pretty unusual talent, I’ve gotta say. Doesn’t nondescript mean you have no outstanding features?

John: [nods slightly] Yep. But it also means I don’t leave much of an impression. Because of that, I can blend in anywhere. [shrugs] Though I personally think I stick out a bit in this colorful cast of characters.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] John is exactly 5 foot 9 and a half inches tall, likes hamburgers, the color blue and tried to sell me some BS about liking a girl for her personality.

Ray: That took you a lot longer than normal.

Autumn: [holds up notepad] [sheepish smile] I actually had to check my notes for John, because I had completely forgotten everything he told me. That talent of his is no joke.

John: [polite smile] Well, it was nice meeting you, Ray. I’ll see you later. [leaves]

**John walked off in the direction of the kitchen, and a second later I realized I’d already forgotten what he looked like. Impressive.**

**There were still seven more people to meet, so I looked around again. I found myself nearby the other of the two girls with the papers and went over to introduce myself.**

**I assumed she was the Ultimate Architect Ryan had mentioned, since she was wearing a yellow hard hat over long black hair. She stood up to greet me, leaning on one of those long poster tubes as she did.**

**She looked like my presence was already inconveniencing her, so I decided to get straight to the point.**

Ray: Hi there, I’m Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate Narrator.

???: [leans on tube] [neutral expression] April Collins, Ultimate Architect. Here’s my card.

**I took the card from her hand and got a closer look at it.**

[[APRIL COLLINS, ULTIMATE ARCHITECT]]

 

**…… That’s actually a bit creepy.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] April is 6 foot 2, likes spaghetti, the color blue and couldn’t seem to make up her mind about her own fetishes.

April: [brandishes tube like a club] That is _not_ what I said.

Autumn: [glances to the side] [slight smirk] You certainly looked like you needed to give it a lot of thought when I asked.

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] That’s because I was trying to figure out where I could club you without killing you. You don’t look like you can take a hit very well.

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] … I can take a hit from a plastic tube.

**I wonder when she’ll stop following me? I’d like to actually have a conversation with some of these people.**

**April looks rather aggravated though. I should try to interrupt this conversation.**

Ray: Anyway, what are you working on, April?

April: [hair falls over eyes] [surprised expression] Huh? O-oh, right. [hugs tube] [blushes slightly] This was- this was supposed to be an intro- introduction, uh, wasn’t it?

**… That was a rather sudden change. She looked a lot more composed a minute ago, but now she’s stuttering all over the place. What happened?**

April: [hugs tube] [looks around uncomfortably] I-I’m currently working on map- mapping out this building. It doesn’t have the- the most interesting of designs, but it’s p-pretty practical, uh… all things c-considered. [places finger on chin] Aside from the complete lack of windows, that is.

Ray: I remember Ryan mentioning that. He said something about putting the Ultimate Architect in a building designed by idiots.

April: [hugs tube] [embarrassed expression] Oh, R-ryan mentioned me, did he? [looks around uncomfortably] Did- did he say anything else about m-me?

Ray: Uh, not really. He was mostly just complaining about the lack of windows.

April: [hugs tube] [dejected expression] O-oh. Okay.

**… I have no idea what to say to that. Didn’t Autumn say everyone had only met an hour ago? It’s weird to get attached to someone that fast.**

**Of course, I could be misreading that. Either way, it would probably be rude of me to actually bring it up.**

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Jesus April, it’s only been an hour! Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for the guy already?

**… I can’t say I didn’t see that coming. I shouldn’t expect tact from the girl whose first question to someone is ‘what’s your primary fetish?’.**

April: [fumbles with tube] [panicked expression] W-w-w-what?! No, no no no! I-I’m not some kind of- of… I dunno! Ugh! You’ve- you’ve caught me all flustered!

April: [brushes hair out of eyes] [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] I literally just met the guy. I don’t buy into that love-at-first-sight crap. Leave me alone.

**There’s the sudden change again. I get the feeling this is routine with her.**

April: [leans on tube] [glares] I said leave me alone. Both of you.

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] Aww. Fine, we’ll leave you alone. [folds arms with frown] Come on Ray, let’s go.

**Why do I have to leave? What did I do?**

**April didn’t strike me as the most stable of individuals. She seemed to have a temper, too, but that may have just been because of Autumn. I wasn’t too concerned about it. As long as I avoid talking to her when she’s around Autumn, it should be fine.**

**I decided to head over to the kitchen and see who was there. John was leaving with a plate of food, and we briefly had a conversation I forgot about immediately afterwards.**

**There was a boy and a girl in the kitchen. The boy seemed to be busy cooking, so I directed my attention to the girl.**

**The girl had four fanny-packs strapped to her waist, plus a normal backpack. There was what looked to be a tiny square speaker clipped to her pink shirt. She also had a little name tag on that read ‘Brittany’.**

Ray: Hi, I’m-

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Ray] Ray, right? You’re the Ultimate Narrator, right?

Ray: Uh, yeah. How did-

Brittany: [hands on hips] [giggles] John mentioned you. You’re our late sleeper, huh?

Ray: Yeah. Sorry about that.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [winks] Don’t worry about it. You didn’t miss the grand tour, just a few introductory exercises. [snaps] Speaking of which!

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] My name is Brittany Day! I’ll be your Ultimate Tour Guide during our stay at this establishment! [holds out water bottle] Remember to keep hydrated!

 

[[BRITTANY DAY, ULTIMATE TOUR GUIDE]]

 

**I took the bottle she offered.**

Ray: Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate, uh, Narrator. But you knew that already.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [nods vigorously] It’s my job to make sure everyone is present and accounted for in the group. As you can tell from my title, I take these things very seriously.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Brittany here is exactly-

Brittany: [snaps] Allow me, Autumn! [speaks into microphone] I am exactly 6 feet tall, I enjoy salads and mineral water, my favorite color is pink and I prefer cuteness!

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] That, uh… Yeah, that’s what she said to me too.

**Jesus Christ, she just out-pepped Autumn. I think Brittany may be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my life.**

Ray: You prefer… cuteness?

Brittany: [double thumbs-up] Yep, exactly!

**That didn’t actually answer my question. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure what I was asking.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] You look a little pale. Are you making sure to drink plenty of water? [holds out water bottle] It’s easy to get dehydrated when you’re walking around in the sun!

Ray: But… We’re inside?

Brittany: [snaps] [points up] As long as it’s daytime, you’re in the sun! You can get exhausted anywhere, anytime! [hands on hips] [grins] And it’s my job to make sure that doesn’t happen!

Ray: I, uh… Alright then.

**I looked over to Autumn for some sanity.**

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] [bewildered expression] ……

**For once, I have to agree.**

**Brittany was certainly peppy. Very peppy. It was kind of overwhelming, to be honest. She seemed to be sincere in her care for the group, which was reassuring.**

**I quickly exited the conversation and turned my attention toward the room’s other occupant.**

**He was staring intently at the oven, like he was willing it to cook faster. He had a proper chef’s uniform on, though I noticed that his apron was tied up at his neck for some reason. He sadly lacked a poofy chef’s hat, so I could tell he had very short black hair.**

**He was also the first male in the group who was visibly shorter than me, which I took a rather petty amount of pride in.**

Ray: Hey there. What’re you cooking?

???: [twists cap of frosting bag] Hmm? I’m baking a cake, what’s it look like I’m cooking?

Ray: Something in an oven I can’t see into. Hence my question.

???: [shrugs] Fair enough. Do I know you?

Ray: Not yet. Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate Narrator.

???: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Narrator, huh? Not the most impressive talent in this gaggle of idiots. [taps head with frosting bag] Not like I’m one to talk, with my half-assed talent.

**Huh. I was all ready to insult him in this narration until that little self-deprecating remark.**

Ray: Now I’m curious. What’s your talent?

???: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Currently? I’m Adrian Strauss, the Ultimate Mediocre Baker. Hence why I’m in the kitchen, trying to bake a cake that doesn’t taste like ass.

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] [half-assed confident smile] In the grand scheme of things, I am, and I’m not kidding here, the Ultimate fucking Cake Decorator. Please, hold your applause.

 

[[ADRIAN STRAUSS, ULTIMATE CAKE DECORATOR]]

 

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] [bored expression] Seriously, aren’t we supposed to be working together to restore hope to the world or some shit? What am I supposed to do, write ‘HOPE KEEPS GOING!’ on a bunch of giant cakes and mail them around the world? [scoffs] That’ll be the day.

Ray: You don’t seem to have a lot of confidence in your talent.

Adrian: [serious expression] Don’t get me wrong. I can make the most beautiful cake you’ve ever seen if you give me enough materials. There is literally nobody in the world better at that than I am. [bored expression] I just don’t want to overvalue myself. Or value myself at all, for that matter.

Ray: Come on, everyone has some value. Don’t sell yourself short.

Autumn: [wide smile with arms spread] Let me stop you there before this turns into a Free Time event.

**Between that comment and my title card jokes I can’t tell if we’re supposed to have a fourth wall or not.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Anyway, time for the info dump. Adrian here-

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] Is a whopping 5 foot 6, gave Autumn a sarcastic look when she asked his favorite food, said that any cake looks better with white frosting, and that he loves a good foreign accent.

Autumn: [jaw drops] H-hey! You can’t just do that! That’s my line!

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] As your Ultimate Tour Guide, it is my duty to make sure we all get along!

Autumn: [distressed] But- but-! You can’t just-! [pouts, looking downwards]

**She looks so sad. I almost feel bad for her.**

Adrian: [shakes his head] If we’re the last hope for the world, then it’s already too late.

Ray: I want to disagree with you, but I can’t think of an argument to make.

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] Anyway, you’ve got a bunch of much more interesting people than me to talk to. You should probably go do that.

Ray: I don’t know; you’ve made for better conversation than most of the others thus far.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] If you’re trying to make me feel better about myself, it’s not working. [squeezes frosting bag] If you’re serious, then I’m legitimately concerned for the future.

Ray: I’m serious.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [wide-eyed] … Fuck.

**Adrian is a real ball of sunshine. He clearly doesn’t have much faith in the group, and even less in himself. He’s a paragon of normalcy compared to Autumn and Brittany, though. I think that makes three people here who I could have a conversation with without needing a break afterwards. And there’s only four more people to meet now.**

**Statistically, that doesn’t bode well for my sanity.**

**I walked out of the kitchen and walked directly into someone else. Literally.**

???: [grips cap] [panicked expression] Ah, sorry! I’m sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was walking!

Ray: No worries, it’s fine. I wasn’t exactly paying attention myself.

**I felt another tinge of petty pride when I saw this boy was also shorter than me, even more so than Adrian. He was wearing a red and white outfit that looked like it would have been more appropriate in the middle ages, as well as a green felt cap with a red feather attached to it.**

**With how strange his outfit was I almost didn’t see the bow and quiver he had strapped to his back.**

???: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] I still feel like apologizing. I’m sure it’s mostly my fault. You sure you’re okay?

Ray: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.

???: [nervous smile] Ah, thanks. I don’t want to make enemies too quickly. They never really mentioned how long we were supposed to be staying here.

Ray: I think we’re just supposed to be here until we fix the entire world. So, like, a couple weeks at most.

**Maybe I should have asked that question at some point myself.**

???: [shocked expression] The entire world? O-oh. I didn’t quite realize that’s what I was signing up for. [scratches neck] I kinda figured we were just trying to fix the US? I mean, they had all those other groups for all those other countries, right?

Ray: … That makes a lot more sense, actually. You’re probably right.

???: [wipes his brow] That’s a relief. I don’t know if I could handle having the whole world depending on me. [nervous expression] Oh, I’m sorry! Please don’t hate me, but I can’t seem to remember your name.

Ray: That would be because we haven’t met yet. I’m Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate Narrator.

???: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [raises eyebrow] We haven’t met yet? But I could have sworn that- [shocked expression] Oh! You’re the one that was oversleeping! [panicked expression] Ah! Not that that’s a bad thing! Sorry, sorry!

**Oh boy. He’s going to be one of those people that apologizes all the time, isn’t he? That’s not exactly my favorite character trope.**

???: [grips cap] Ah! And I’ve forgotten to introduce myself, haven’t I? I can try to fix that, at least.

???: [poses with arrow drawn] I am the world’s Ultimate Archer, William Robinson! I will be sure to bring justice with my trusty bow, Altdorf!

 

[[WILLIAM ROBINSON, ULTIMATE ARCHER]]

 

Will: [scratches neck] [slightly pink] Ehh, I think I overdid it there with that intro. I was trying to look cooler than I actually am.

Ray: I dunno, you were showing off your Ultimate talent. It’s hard to _not_ look cool when you’re doing something you’re good at.

Will: [scratches neck] [embarrassed smile] Eh heh heh, thanks.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Will here is… [glances to the side] [nervous expression] Do you think Brittany’s still in earshot?

**I looked over to Brittany, who was still in the kitchen. She might have been close enough to hear us speak, but she was preoccupied. She was trying to convince Adrian to take a bottle of water, despite there being two unopened bottles on the counter next to him. I made a mental note to drink the bottle still in my hand before speaking to her again.**

Ray: No, you’re probably good.

Autumn: [exaggerated sigh] Thank goodness. [folds arms with friendly smile] Will here is 5 foot 4, enjoys veal and potatoes, likes the color red and started awkwardly hitting on me when I asked about his fetishes.

Will: [covers face with cap] [probably embarrassed expression] ……

**He probably regrets that for a variety of reasons at this point. Especially since he’s a bit shorter than her, and if I remember right she said something about that.**

 

[[flashback]]

Autumn: [irritatingly peppy] Anywho, I’m 5 foot 5, I like steak, my favorite color’s brown and I like guys who are taller than I am!

Autumn: [somehow even peppier] Also, I broke into your room for no real reason!

[[end flashback]]

 

**Yes, that’s exactly how that happened. Down to the word.**

**I could do the joke I did with the title cards and repeat the flashback correctly, but even I’m getting tired of that joke at this point.**

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Um… Ray? You there?

Ray: Uh, yeah. Sorry, I was spaced out for a second. Did you say something?

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] I was just having a little chat with Will about the harsh realities of life.

Will: [hugs his bow] [whimpers sadly] ……

Ray: …I feel like I missed something important.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] I absolutely did that on purpose.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Anyway, you’ve got three more people to meet! Get to it!

**She yanked me away from the devastated Will and shoved me into the one part of the cafeteria I hadn’t wandered into yet.**

**William was a timid sort, which made two and a half timid people in the group overall. Based on his little show of introducing himself I could tell he had at least some confidence, albeit rather buried and easily bruised. Still, I could see myself getting along with him perfectly fine. I might even be able to help him with his confidence somewhat.**

**There was an orange astronaut standing next to me.**

???: [helmet up] [friendly wave] Heya! Who’re you?

Ray: I- uh… What?

???: [folds arms] [tilts helmeted head] What? Never seen an astronaut before?

Ray: Wha- huh? But… we’re not in space?

???: [raps knuckles on helmet] You sure? There’s no windows anywhere. We could be anywhere in the universe and have no way of knowin’.

Ray: Wouldn’t we be, you know… floating, or something?

???: [raises index finger] Not if we were at the edge of a giant spinning cylinder. Have to be real big for us to not be able to notice the curvature, but it’s possible.

???: [folds arms] [taps finger expectantly] But anyway, gonna answer my question, or not?

**Did she ask a question? My brain hasn’t quite caught up to my mouth yet.**

Ray: Oh, uh… yeah. I’m Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate Narrator.

???: [presses button and helmet retracts] [toothy smile] Nice to meetcha’ Ray! Name’s Emily Yoder, Ultimate Astronaut!

 

[[EMILY YODER, ULTIMATE ASTRONAUT]]

 

Ray: Really? Aren’t you a bit young to be an astronaut?

Emily: [neutral expression] Yes. Yes I am. That’s why I’m the _Ultimate_ Astronaut.

Ray: That… doesn’t really explain anything?

Emily: [holds up hand] It’s a translation thing, I think? Like, you know how this trip is based on Hope’s Peak’s model, and Hope’s Peak is Japanese? Well, ‘Ultimate’ is a neater translation of the actual title system they used; more accurately it’s ‘Super High School Level’ or somethin’ like that. But that’s a mouthful, so they just went with ‘Ultimate’.

**I think she’s trying to say she’s the best astronaut on a high school level? What is that even supposed to mean?**

Emily: [shrugs] ‘Sides, I think we’re all a year or two out of high school, anyway. [thoughtful expression] At least, I know I am. Haven’t been asking everyone their ages.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Emily here is 5 foot 8, her favorite food is something called a buckeye, she likes the color purple and took a raincheck on the fetish question.

Emily: [shrugs] Still don’t have an answer, sorry. [uncertain expression] Never given it much thought.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Eh, I only half expected an answer at all. [folds arms with friendly smile] Most of us are really weirdly forthcoming about it. [folds arms with thoughtful look] And pretty weird in general, actually.

Ray: It probably says something that one of the most normal people here is the astronaut.

Emily: [shrugs] Guess having an interesting talent means I don’t feel the need to stand out so much? I dunno.

Ray: Well, it’s been nice meeting you.

Emily: [toothy smile] [thumbs-up] Likewise!

**Emily didn’t seem to have any outstanding personality traits. She did seem to have a bit of expositional skill under that helmet of hers, and there was something strange about the way she spoke that I couldn’t quite place. She was nice enough, though. I mentally added her to the list of people I could have normal conversations with, bringing the total to four.**

**In a regular group of sixteen there’d be only one or two people I _couldn’t_ have normal conversations with, but I guess social norms don’t apply to Ultimates. No wonder the Hope’s Peak students were murdering each other.**

**With that happy thought in my mind I found myself walking up to the least happy girl I’d ever seen.**

**She was wearing a loose-fitting black jacket that was covered in pockets, which nicely complemented the black cargo pants covered in pockets. On her back was a thoroughly stuffed black backpack that was also covered in pockets. When she looked at me I noticed she had long black hair, which didn’t seem to have any pockets but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did.**

**She looked slightly scared as I walked up.**

Ray: Uh… Hello there.

???: [wraps arms around herself defensively] Hello. [looks off to the side]

**Great. This is already going well.**

Ray: Uh… What are you doing?

???: [confused expression] Standing here…?

Ray: Right. Bad question.

???: [bites her lip] No, no. I get it. [sheepish expression] Sorry. I’m not super great at meeting people.

Ray: It’s fine, I get it. Let’s start with names. I’m Raymond Glenshaw, Ultimate Narrator.

???: [tries to maintain eye contact] Narrator, huh? That’s another one of those really specific talents. Normally those don’t have too much everyday use, but yours means people are liable to listen when you talk. That means you’d be good at getting people to focus, and in a crisis situation that’s invaluable.

Ray: Wow. I’ve, uh, never really thought of my talent that way.

???: [puts hands in pockets] Most people don’t. They write certain skills off as useless or undesirable because they don’t have obvious uses. [serious expression] But every skill has its uses if it’s applied right. If they didn’t, none of us would still be here.

???: [slight smile] We didn’t survive the end of the world by chance, you know? We survived because we had the will and the way. [laughs slightly] Of course, my talent is one of the more helpful ones for that.

???: [slight smile] I’m Maria Corsano. Living through the end is literally my specialty, because my title is Ultimate Doomsday Prepper.

 

[[MARIA CORSANO, ULTIMATE DOOMSDAY PREPPER]]

 

Maria: [slight smile] Sorry for the awkward meeting. My talent means I’m naturally pretty skittish-

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Maria here is-

Maria: [flails arms wildly] [panicked expression] GAH- FUCK! Autumn?! Where did you come from?!

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] I was here the whole time?

**No, you weren’t. You manifest from nothing every time I get someone to tell me their talent. It’s terrifying.**

Maria: [hands over heart] [panicked breathing] You can’t just jump out at me like that!

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] I was trying to talk to Ray, actually. [wide smile with arms spread] Gotta keep him in the loop!

Maria: [hands over heart] [frowns] Sure, whatever. If you can just do that without killing me, please?

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Sure, sure. [folds arms with friendly smile] As I was saying. Maria here is 5 foot 3, likes anything made with tomatoes, her favorite color is green-

Ray: What, seriously? Not black?

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] Nothing green has this many pockets.

Ray: I’m honestly amazed anything has that many pockets.

Autumn: [pouts, looking forward] Can I finish my thing?

**I honestly don’t care what Maria’s primary fetish is, Autumn.**

Ray: Sure, go ahead.

Autumn: [glances to the side] [frowns] … Her favorite color is green, and she starting giving me a lecture about the difficulty involved in trying to raise a child in a post-apocalyptic society as soon as the word ‘fetish’ left my mouth. It was depressing.

**We’re already in a post-apocalyptic society, and all the children I’ve seen are pretty normal. This is probably as good as it gets for kids, in terms of apocalypses.**

**A child-friendly apocalypse. There’s an oxymoron.**

**… Fuck. It is post-apocalypse, isn’t it? There’s probably something awful happening to a child right now, as I’m thinking this, because of that bitch.**

**That bitch, who ruined the world for literally no goddamn reason… No, she had a reason. Despair. What bullshit. What a bullshit reason to end the entire fucking world.**

**All of a sudden, I really want to punch something. Preferably something wearing that stupid fucking bear’s stupid fucking face.**

**For a minute, I forgot how serious the situation actually was. Between meeting all these colorful personalities, I let it slip my mind that we’re here to fix a broken world without any semblance of a real plan.**

**Maybe Adrian was right. If we’re actually the world’s last hope, then maybe it’s already too late.**

**……**

**Autumn was right. This is depressing.**

**There’s still one more person I haven’t met yet. That should distract me from this train of thought.**

**I made a quick excuse and left Maria’s presence.**

**I looked around the area for a minute, but didn’t see anyone that I hadn’t met already. Autumn is probably still following me around, maybe she knows where the last person is?**

Ray: Hey Autumn, who am I missing?

Autumn: There’s one more guy. His name’s Eric Decker.

**That’s weird. Normally she dashes in front of me to speak, but that came from behind me.**

Ray: Alright. Do you see him anywhere?

Autumn: Yeah, right over there.

**A hand entered my view, pointing toward the kitchen. I followed where it was indicating.**

**…It occurred to me that the hand was about level with my neck, much higher than where Autumn’s would have been if it were hers. Plus, Autumn’s sleeves didn’t reach her wrists.**

**To top it off, Autumn was walking toward me from the kitchen, holding a bowl of something or other, not standing behind me.**

**I turned around to find out who was.**

**The boy behind me was wearing a suit that looked like it came out of a painting. Looking at it made my eyes confused. I tried to keep my attention on his head, where there was a grey felt hat resting on brown hair.**

???: [Autumn’s voice] [pouts, looking downwards] Aww, you noticed me.

**That voice sounds so weird coming out of this guy’s mouth.**

Ray: What the-?

???: [Brittany’s voice] [hands on hips] Ha-ha! Are you surprised? Are you amazed? Are you dazzled?

???: [Ryan’s voice] [balls hand into fist] Well you fucking should be! ‘Cause you’re in the presence of Eric Decker, the Ultimate Impressionist!

 

[[ERIC DECKER, ULTIMATE IMPRESSIONIST]]

 

Eric: [Will’s voice] [mimes tugging at quiver’s strap] Uh, despite the way I’m dressed, that’s not, uh, impressionist painting. It’s more like impressionist comedian. Sorry if that was obvious.

Ray: I think I figured out that much.

Eric: [cups hand around ear] Ooh! You have an interesting voice. That specific register… [smug smile] Hah! It might even give me a bit of trouble.

**I haven’t heard that voice before. It must be his real one.**

Ray: I’d hope you have some trouble imitating my voice. Otherwise you’d make my talent redundant.

Eric: [Adrian’s voice] [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Really? What would that be? It can’t be worse than mine.

Ray: I’m the Ultimate-

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Eric here is 5 foot 11, said he liked the exact same things everyone else liked, said his favorite color was ‘all of them, indiscriminately’, and he said he likes guys that are taller than he is.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] …Wait, no. Scratch that last thing.

Eric: [Madeline’s voice] [lazily interlaces fingers] [rolls eyes] Autumn, dearie, do you mind? I am trying to ask, err…

Ray: Raymond Glenshaw.

Eric: [Jacob’s voice] [neutral, yet friendly expression] Thank you. [neutral, yet full of contempt expression] I was trying to ask Sir Glenshaw what his talent was. It could be vital to my work.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Fine, fine. Sorry for trying to revive a joke.

**Revive it? When did you stop making it?**

Eric: [Caleb’s voice] [tips hat out of face, with hat sagging] Anyway partner, what were you sayin’ about that talent of yours?

Ray: Like I was saying, I’m the Ultimate Narrator.

Eric: [rubs chin] Ah-ha! Narrator! That certainly explains it. [poses dramatically] Hah! I accept your challenge, Mister Raymond Glenshaw! By the end of our work here, I will have mastered your voice so perfectly as to make your talent obsolete!

Ray: I’d… much rather prefer if you didn’t.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Ah-ha! But that’s what makes it such a challenge! I shall have to practice your voice while also avoiding what I am confident will be utterly devious assassination attempts!

Ray: What?! I’m not going to try and assassinate you!

**He’s giving my deviousness far too much credit.**

Eric: [John’s voice] [neutral expression] Well that’s a shame. It would’ve made things more interesting.

**Someone trying to murder him would make things more interesting?**

**…I guess he’s not exactly wrong.**

**Eric’s certainly a character. I could sort of make out his actual personality under the impressions. He was brimming with confidence, so much so that he was a bit full of himself. He was also really loud, with a tendency to overact.**

**With Eric, I’d met all of the others. Now I need to figure out what to do from here.**

 

*bzzzzt*

 

**Gah! What the hell? Where’d that buzzing come from?**

???: Ah, mic check… mic check…? Can everyone hear me?

**I glanced around wildly, trying to find the source. Most everyone else seemed to be doing the same. Eventually, all 15 of us found it, and felt despair set in.**

**Standing at the front of the large table, looking far too pleased with herself, was the Ultimate Tour Guide, Brittany Day.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As if you needed more proof that this is inspired by Forever Despair, the point I ended on here is directly referencing the end of its first page. Mind you, that's not the only Fangan Ronpa that ends the first page with introducing Monokuma, but it's what I had in mind.
> 
> Speaking of the bear, expect him soon.
> 
> Since the whole cast is in I'll take Free Time votes now. I plan to have five of them in the first chapter, so vote away. In a revolutionary new system, I'm including Ray in the list of people to vote for. He won't be talking to himself, we'll just switch perspectives to someone else until it's over. Who's talking will vary depending on who's still alive, so don't rely on the person doing the talking surviving just because they're featuring in the Free Time of the one guy who is guaranteed to survive.


	2. Prologue: Familiar Scenery, Part 2

**Oh boy. Brittany’s pretty loud by default, and even louder when she’s using that microphone. It’s a real comfort knowing it has a feature that causes loud, obnoxious buzzing. It’s probably meant for grabbing everyone’s attention like this.**

**I suppose I should actually listen to her, now that she’s given me a migraine.**

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] [grins] Ah, good, good! Attention everyone! Please gather around the table so we can begin our meeting!

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] [rolls eyes] Darling, we already are gathered around the table.

Ryan: [annoyed expression] Yeah. We’re eating breakfast. You do that at a table. It’s not exactly rocket science.

Emily: [helmet down] [holds up hand] I can confirm that. Rocket science is much more difficult than this cereal. [raps head with knuckles] Messin’ up this cereal’s milk-to-flavorless-bran ratio will strand exactly nobody in space. [purses lips in disgust] This cereal is awful, though.

John: [mildly frowns] It’s pretty bland and forgettable.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] [half-assed smile] If you wait about half-an-hour I’ll be finished making a bland and forgettable cake that looks really neat.

Jacob: [neutral, yet disgusted expression] Making a cake for breakfast? That is horribly unhealthy. [neutral, yet friendly expression] [bows slightly] Lady Yoder, if you would like I could prepare for you a wonderful omelet instead?

Phoebe: [raises hand] Ah! Can I have one too, please? [slightly pink] I meant to get something to eat earlier, but Autumn needed me to take apart Ray’s lock even though it wasn’t locked and she would’ve known that if she wasn’t so damn impatient- [bright pink] Uh, no offence, Autumn.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Offence absolutely taken!

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] How do you manage to be so happy with everything you say? It’s sickening.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] Practice!

Eric: [Autumn’s voice] [shit-eating grin] Practice makes perfect, after all! [Eric’s normal voice] [pounds chest with fist] And speaking of practice, I have a challenge to live up to! So, can we hurry this meeting up?

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] Yeah, can we, like, hurry this up? I’ve got shit to do. [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] …Kind of? Actually, no, I don’t. Never mind, keep meeting about, uh, whatever we’re meeting about.

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Um, question? What are we meeting about, actually? I don’t think I missed it, but I’m probably wrong.

Maria: [looks off to the side] You haven’t missed anything. She just hasn’t said why we’re meeting yet. [wraps arms around herself defensively] Probably because everybody’s trying to get their thoughts out first.

**Personally, I’m just fine with keeping my thoughts internal.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] For what it’s worth, I’m just waiting for Brittany to say what she’s gotta say.

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Caleb] Thanks for the transition, Caleb!

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [grins] Anytime, sweetheart.

Brittany: [hands on hips] Okay, so! Since we’re all gathered, let’s begin the meeting!

**I still have no idea what this meeting is about.**

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Um, I still don’t quite get what this meeting is supposed to be about.

**Thanks, Will, for making my narration redundant.**

Ryan: [throws arms up in irritation] Yeah! What the fuck are we doing in here?

Brittany: [clasps hands] That’s the thing! We need to figure that out!

Will: [scratches neck] O-oh. So you don’t know either?

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] Aren’t we supposed to be, like, fixing the world, or something?

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [curious expression] I do wonder how they expect us to accomplish that feat.

Emily: [holds up hand] Maybe they want us to make a film?

April: [leans on tube] [confused expression] Are you joking? You think they want us to fix the world with a _movie_?

Caleb: [rubs chin] Actually, that kinda makes sense.

April: [stands up straight] [confused expression] It does?

Caleb: [half-smile] Yeah. Think about it. We could make a pretty decent film with the talents we have in this bunch.

Autumn: [wide smile with arms spread] Oh! I see what you mean! [folds arms with friendly smile] We’ve got some performance based talents, with me, Will and Eric; You, Jacob, Emily, and John have pretty distinct looks that would make for some good actors.

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] [thoughtful expression] …April and I could probably make some good looking sets.

April: [hair falls over eyes] [surprised expression] O-oh, yeah. We could- we could definitely make a g-good set if we worked to-to-together.

Madeline: [hands over heart] [pleasant smile] I would happily volunteer to make us some delightful costumes!

Veronica: [lights match] [smirks] I can totally handle special effects.

Ray: I could narrate the movie.

**I mean, what else would I do?**

Brittany: [clasps hands] I would love to be the director!

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] Much as I love the idea, I can’t really see how my talent can be helpful here.

**I’d say he could be the catering, but according to him he can’t cook very well.**

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] … You and I would probably be best suited for props.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Right. As long as we base the plot entirely around cakes, I can do that.

Phoebe: [raises hand] So, uh, what should I do?

Ray: A movie needs someone to work the camera. You and I could do that.

Phoebe: [raises eyebrow] But, weren’t you going to narrate?

Ray: Narration is added after the filming. It’s not like I’m actually standing next to the camera speaking my lines. I can handle the camerawork until then.

Phoebe: [adjusts glasses] [slightly pink] Ah, right. That makes sense.

John: [raises eyebrow] Do we have any filming equipment?

**… Oh, right. Equipment. You need cameras to film things. Otherwise you’re just making a play, and we can’t save the world with a play. That would be silly.**

Emily: [raps head with knuckles] [toothy smile] ‘Course we do. Why do you think I brought the idea up?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] There’s a whole lotta filming equipment in those storerooms at the south of the building.

Ray: Storerooms?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Ray] I’ll have to give you a tour of the building later. There’s a lot of neat stuff in here!

Jacob: [neutral, yet curious expression] But there is another question we must answer. What manner of film do we intend to make?

Will: [grips cap] [nervous smile] We could do a period piece?

Caleb: [claps hands together] I’d be up for a good ol’ fashion Western.

**Of course the cowboy would say that.**

Ray: A Western sounds like the best idea.

**What? I like Westerns too.**

Veronica: [stares at flame] [smirks] I’ve always wanted to work on a disaster film.

Maria: [bites her lip] Wouldn’t we just be making a documentary at that point?

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] [lights lollipop] [disappointed frown] Oh, shit, you’re right. That probably wouldn’t be in good taste. Never mind then.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] We’re trying to restore hope, right? I’ve always found that comedies are good for lifting people’s spirits.

April: [hugs tube] [hopeful expression] R-r-romantic comedies have good m-mass-market appeal.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] I’ve found that a good murder mystery pulls the viewers right in!

Jacob: [neutral, yet intrigued expression] I will admit that I am rather partial to murder mysteries myself. There is something inherently engrossing about the classic ‘whodunnit’.

**……**

Madeline: [wipes her brow gracefully] Would a film about murder not also be rather inherently tasteless? It would likely bring to mind the televised killing game.

Phoebe: [uncertain expression] That might not be a bad idea, maybe? The point of that broadcast was to remove hope, so maybe we could do the opposite? [adjusts glasses] If the parallels are on purpose, we could use it to show that something like the killing game can’t destroy hope?

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] You really think something like that could work?

Adrian: [shrugs] I dunno. I’ll go along with whatever you guys do, I guess. [bored expression] Not like I have any, uh, better… ideas… [wide-eyed] …!

**Looks like Adrian finally noticed. A few others were staring as well.**

April: [brushes hair out of eyes] [places finger on chin] So, would we just be playing ourselves then? A bunch of talented teens trapped together in a killing game, except hopeful, somehow?

Monokuma: [satisfied look] Sounds like a good idea to me!

April: [stands up straight] [surprised expression] …Huh?

Ryan: [folds arms] [raises eyebrow] Hmm? Something wrong, April?

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Yeah, something wrong, April?

Ryan: [shocked expression] …The fuck?!

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Oh? Was it something I said? Something I didn’t say? Maybe it’s something I’m about to say? [giggles to himself] Puhuhuhu~! Do we secretly have another Ultimate Clairvoyant in this group? I hope you’re better than that last one!

**I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but at some point Monokuma had managed to get himself seated around the table with the rest of us.**

**A million questions raced through my head as my brain processed the two and a half foot stuffed nightmare in front of me. My first question being how the events in my life had led to me being legitimately terrified of this teddy bear.**

**My second question was immediately voiced by Ryan.**

Eric: [Ryan’s voice] [balls hand into fist] What the fuck are you doing here?!

**…Or rather, voiced by Eric voicing Ryan.**

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] Hey! I can speak for myself, you Picasso wannabe!

Eric: [smug smile] Picasso wasn’t an Impressionist painter.

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [bares teeth] Do I _look_ like I give a fuck!?

Eric: [sighs with entire body] Not particularly. [waves dismissively] Go ahead and say what you were going to say.

Ryan: [takes a deep breath] Good. Now then. [balls hand into fist] What the fuck are you doing here?!

**Glad to see that build-up paid off.**

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] What am I doing here? Well what am I usually doing here?

Ray: Usually you’re murdering someone with giant bloody claws.

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] Yeah, my robots are pretty good at that. [neutral expression] Seriously though, that’s not what I meant.

Monokuma: [satisfied look] I’m here to do exactly what you’d expect! Dispense advice to troubled teens!

Caleb: [tips hat down] Now that’s some Grade A bullshit if I’ve ever heard it.

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] Ah, but you didn’t let me finish! I assure you I give great advice.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] [bored expression] And this is the part where he tells us to kill each other.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Hmm… Well, I wasn’t going to say that… [belly laugh] But now that you mention it, that sounds like a wonderful idea!

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [wide-eyed] …Fuck.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] I was planning on giving you hormonal saps some dating advice from an experienced bear. [belly laugh] But I much prefer Adrian’s idea!

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [wide-eyed] … _Fuck_.

April: [brandishes tube like a club] I wouldn’t want dating advice from you anyway!

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Are you sure? [satisfied look] I run a very successful monthly romantic advice column. It’s called Monokuma’s Monthly Mating Madvice! Or Mmmm, for short!

April: [leans on tube] [frowns slightly] … There’s no column called that.

**Nothing with alliteration that forced should be allowed to exist.**

**…I feel like this conversation is more relaxed than it should be.**

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Now then, where was I? [lunges forward, angry] Dammit! You meddling kids made me lose my place!

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] My sincerest condolences.

Monokuma: [sweats nervously] Seriously, though, does anybody know where I was?

Brittany: [hands on hips] You were about to make us play a killing game.

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] Ah-ha! Thank you, Brittany! You’re my new favorite!

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tries to keep smiling] Your approval fills me with shame!

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Miss Cheerleader over there is correct! You’re going to be playing your very own killing game! [miffed expression] And I put a lot of effort into this one, so you better appreciate it!

Will: [hugs his bow] [scared expression] You’re trying to force us to k-kill each other, and you want us to ap-appreciate it? How crazy are you?

Monokuma: [belly laugh] I’m crazy like a bear! [bears claw angrizzly] [hah, no] [bares claw angrily] Jeez, you walked right into that one. Did you do that on purpose?

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Anyway, I liked you guys’ idea for putting on a show for everyone to see, so I’ll be acting as your producer to lend you a hand! [turns to show black side, raises paw] Or rather, a paw.

**I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m starting to hate this thing more and more with each bear pun. Apparently my brain sees bad puns as worse than mass genocide.**

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] Real, quality entertainment requires effort! It requires authenticity! [belly laugh] And what better way to add authenticity by making it all completely real!?

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Or we could, I dunno, act? You know, like actors.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Nah. You guys don’t really have the chops for that.

Eric: [cups hand around ear] What? Are you saying that I, Eric Decker, the Ultimate Impressionist, cannot act? [pounds chest with fist] I take offense to that!

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] [rolls eyes] And I take offense to your outfit. It is; how do you say? Tough shit.

Eric: [Madeline’s voice] [fans his face] Bluh bluh! Look at me! I’m a huge bitch with a fake European accent!

Madeline: [drops accent] [hands over heart] My accent may be fake, but at least I don’t look like I’m covered in the Mona Lisa’s vomit.

Eric: [smug smile] Da Vinci wasn’t an Impressionist painter either.

**Monokuma hasn’t even gotten going and we’re already starting to piss each other off. Of course by ‘we’ I mean ‘Eric’, but still.**

Monokuma: [lunges forward, angry] Excuse me! Homicidal bear in the room! Anyone wanna pay attention to that?!

John: [mildly frowns] Not really, no.

Monokuma: [miffed expression] Well tough! I’m gonna talk and you brats are gonna like it!

Emily: [purses lips in disgust] …Don’t gotta like it, even if you’re gonna talk anyway.

Monokuma: [lunges forward, angry] Augh! Quiet! [faces away] Jeez, this is why I usually go for the memory loss. If they know who you are it’s nothing but back talk!

Jacob: [neutral, but full of contempt expression] Perhaps we would be paying more attention if you would quit rambling and arrive at the point.

**We’re rambling a hell of a lot more than Monokuma is.**

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous smile] I think we’re rambling a lot more than Monokuma is.

**Thanks, Will, for making my narration redundant again. We needed another running gag on this page.**

Monokuma: [miffed expression] You know what? Screw this, I’m outta here!

**He suddenly hopped off the seat he’d been standing on and waddled out of the cafeteria, the large double doors slamming behind him.**

Ray: Did… Did we just win?

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] I honestly expected more from the thing.

Ryan: [raises eyebrow] What the hell did he storm out for?

Phoebe: [adjusts glasses] I think maybe we just managed to annoy him so much that he decided it wasn’t worth it?

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] I can’t say I blame him. We’re kind of insufferable.

Autumn: [pouts, looking forward] We’re not that bad, are we? I think we’re pretty fun people.

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Autumn] You’re definitely right about that! We’re so fun that we drove that stupid bear away!

Veronica: [lollipop burns out] [surprised expression] Huh? Bear? What happened? Did I, like, miss something?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [smirks] Yup. You missed a whole lotta things, actually.

Veronica: [unwraps new lollipop] [sheepish smile] Heh. Sorry about that. I was, like, totally spaced out. [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] So, what did I miss?

Maria: [blinks rapidly] [panicked breathing] Monokuma showed up, and then I think I blacked out? I don’t know, my brain just caught up with me.

**That would explain why she hadn’t been talking.**

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] [concerned frown] Monokuma? Aw, shit, are we stuck in a killing game now? I don’t wanna kill you guys, you’re neat.

Caleb: [half-smile] Nah, he just left. We bickered so much that he stormed out.

Veronica: [lights match] Oh, that’s good then.

**Suddenly the double doors were shoved open again, and Monokuma waddled his way back into our lives. He even brought a gift. He set the comically oversized gift box on the large table.**

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] I’m sorry, I acted hastily. Can we still be friends?

Ryan: [folds arms] No. Fuck off.

Monokuma: [giggles to himself] Oh come now! I brought gifts!

Caleb: [tips hat down] [stern expression] Lemme guess: they’re eHandbooks?

Monokuma: [neutral expression] …… [miffed expression] No! They’re… uh… i… Pads?

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] Nope! Wanna try that again?

Monokuma: [sweats nervously] Err… electroIDs?

Ray: That sounds like a different name for the same thing.

Monokuma: [looks down sadly] Well, uh… it sorta is…

John: [neutral expression] Yeah, these look like the ones from the broadcast.

**John was holding an eHandbook in his hand, examining it. Monokuma jumped to try and snatch it out of his hand, but John easily lifted it out of his reach.**

Monokuma: [lunges forward, angry] Hey! You can’t just take those without permission!

John: [shrugs] But we already are.

**At that point mostly everyone, myself included, had stopped paying attention to the bear and had started pulling our eHandbooks out of the gift box.**

Monokuma: [miffed expression] Augh! Teenagers these days! Have some respect!

Ryan: [dismissive expression] No. Fuck off. You’re not my real dad.

Veronica: [glances away from flame] Oh, hey, you’re here.

Monokuma: [looks down sadly] You hadn’t even noticed me?

Veronica: [concerned frown] You’re Monokuma, right?

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] In the plush!

Veronica: [smirks] You’re plush? That’s cool.

**With an absurd degree of casualness, Veronica flicked her lit match at Monokuma. He went up in flames almost instantly.**

Monokuma: [entirely on fire] Ah! Ah! Hot hot hot hot hot! It burns! It burrrrrns!

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] [narrows eyes] Plush shouldn’t burn that fast, but whatever.

**Monokuma started running around the room, flailing wildly, in what was probably supposed to be an attempt to put the fire out. If it was, then it wasn’t working at all. If anything, the flailing seemed to be making the fire stronger.**

Brittany: [holds out water bottle] And that’s why you need to stay hydrated.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] That’s not actually why you need to stay hydrated.

Monokuma: [entirely on fire] [sweats fire nervously] Help! Help! I’m melting! I’m melting!

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] Don’t be silly. Plush doesn’t melt, it burns.

Monokuma: [entirely on fire] [probably miffed expression] Must you ruin this for me?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Ruin what, burning to death?

Monokuma: [entirely on fire] [turns to show disintegrating white side, probably acting bashful] Nope! The burning doesn’t hurt me! Bears are fireproof, after all!

Jacob: [neutral, yet full of contempt expression] Then explain yourself.

Monokuma: [entirely on fire] [giggles to himself] I’m a special bear! I have- [arms fall off]

Monokuma: [entirely on fire] [probably neutral expression] ……

Monokuma: [entirely on fire] [probably neutral expression] Err… Gimme a minute.

**He waddled out of the cafeteria again, kicking his detached arms along with him as he continued to burn. That sentence is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever narrated.**

**A minute later he backflipped through the double doors, looking as good as new.**

Monokuma: [belly laugh] Now I’m back, and better than ever! I still have all the huggability that kids love, with only 30% of the fire!

Madeline: [fans her face] [frowns] Could you be a dear and set him alight again, Veronica?

Veronica: [lights match] [smirks] Happy to.

Monokuma: [faces away] Are you sure you wanna do that?

Veronica: [points with lit match] I’m pretty sure, yeah.

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] Really now? Don’t you remember that you’re playing a killing game?

Ray: It doesn’t really feel like we are.

Ryan: [dismissive expression] Yeah. We’re not exactly fearing for our lives here.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Oh? You aren’t? [giggles to himself] Well you should be!

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] And why the fuck is that?

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] Because this is a killing game! And a killing game has rules!

**Rules? I vaguely recall that was something that came up during the broadcast. Most of them were just about how the killing game is played. There were a few that weren’t directly related to the murders.**

**If I’m right, there was one about sleeping outside the dorms, one he added later about lending the eHandbooks and one about harming the headmaster-**

**Wait. Oh, shit.**

Monokuma: [giggles to himself] Puhuhuhu~! [belly laugh] Ah-hahahahaha! Harming your producer isn’t allowed! You should’ve checked the rules, missy!

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] I did.

Monokuma: [belly laugh] Fortunately I prepared a very special punishment for just this occasion!

Veronica: [concerned frown] Uh, hello? Are you, like, listening?

Emily: [holds up hand] He’s lost in his own little world.

Caleb: [claps hands together] [stern expression] Ay! Bear!

Monokuma: [bares claw angrily] What, what? Can’t you see I’m busy trying to punish someone?

Caleb: [tips hat down] The lady is tryin’ to say somethin’. I suggest you listen.

Monokuma: [miffed expression] Fine. You have exactly 42 seconds. Speak.

Veronica: [smirks] Thanks, Caleb. [lights lollipop] [stares at flame] You might wanna double check your rules.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] …What?

Phoebe: [raises hand] Uh, what do you mean by that? Aren’t the rules the same as in the broadcast? [slightly pink] Maybe I should check them first before speaking actually, nevermind.

**That’s… a good point.**

**I looked down at the eHandbook in my hand and tried to figure out how it actually worked. It was surprisingly clunky, and kept insisting on only highlighting things when I tapped them. After a frankly shameful amount of time I managed to get the Regulations tab selected and open.**

** Rule 1 **

**New Rules may be added at the producer’s discretion.**

**…Seriously?**

**I tried scrolling left and right to make sure, but the screen didn’t move. There was only one rule listed in the eHandbook.**

Veronica: [stares at flame on lollipop] I may be, like, a bit spacey, but I’m not an idiot. [points with lit match] Can’t say the same for you.

Monokuma: [sweats nervously] ……

Madeline: [hand in front of mouth] [sly smile] What was that you were saying about ‘putting a lot of effort into this one’?

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] What a waste of time.

Will: [grips cap] [raises eyebrow] You wanted us to play a killing game, but didn’t actually set rules? I’m sorry, but that’s not very professional.

Ryan: [throws arms up in irritation] Fucking hell! Did we get a bargain bin Monokuma? I’m actually insulted right now!

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] _I_ could’ve arranged a killing game better than this, and I’m only about half as adorable _or_ homicidal as Monokuma.

John: [mildly frowns] That’s still pretty homicidal.

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous smile] …And also pretty adorable.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] I heard that, ya shrimp!

Will: [covers face with cap] [probably embarrassed expression] ……

**Ouch. He’s only an inch shorter than you.**

Monokuma: [sweats nervously] Uh… well, you see… that’s just, uh… [looks down sadly] ……

Caleb: [tips hat down] I’m embarrassed just bein’ here.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] [half-assed confident smile] Congratulations, your presence is now more pointless than mine.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] You should really be more organized than this.

Phoebe: [raises eyebrow] Haven’t you done this already? Shouldn’t setting up the rules of a game be the first thing you do when trying to make people play it? [twiddles thumbs] I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m a locksmith not a game designer, but that just seems to make sense to me, kinda?

Jacob: [neutral, yet reassuring expression] No, you are correct Lady Williams. A game cannot be played unless it first has its rules defined in a clear and understandable manner.

Eric: [poses dramatically] Ha-ha! You, unusually small bear, have proven that you are not worthy of having your voice come out of the mouth of Eric Decker, Ultimate Impressionist!

Emily: [neutral expression] ‘Scuse me a minute. [presses button and helmet goes up] [folds arms] Need me, I’ll be silently judging Monokuma from behind my helmet.

Maria: [looks off to the side] Executing an event as large scale as a killing game requires a lot of preparation. Something you’re clearly lacking here.

Maria: [bites her lip] …Wow. Not even _I’m_ scared of you anymore. That’s just sad.

Ray: Thinking about it, Monokuma isn’t really that intimidating by himself. The main thing that’s unsettling about him is how out of place he is, but we’re used to him at this point.

Monokuma: [looks down sadly] You’re talking like I’m not right here…

Caleb: [tips hat down] [smirks] With how effective you’ve been so far; you may as well not be.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] I guess you’re just not that intimidating without someone smart behind you. [folds arms with friendly smile] I mean, clearly whoever’s controlling you right now is completely incompetent.

Monokuma: [faces away] Not intimidating…? In-incompetent…?

**Jesus. I can’t believe I was scared of this thing a minute ago. He’s so pathetic looking right now that I almost feel bad.**

**Almost.**

Monokuma: [faces away] Is that… really what you all think of me?

Madeline: [hand in front of mouth] [sly smile] Absolutely.

Ryan: [dismissive expression] Yep.

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] Do you seriously not get that at this point?

**A word or two of agreement came from everyone else in the room.**

Monokuma: [looks down sadly] Sighhhh.

**I know Monokuma doesn’t have a sighing sprite, but do we really need to resort to saying sound effects? That’s as cheap as it gets.**

Monokuma: [looks down sadly] Yeah, you guys are right. I’m a failure.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] You absolutely are! Glad we’re on the same page here.

Monokuma: [looks down sadly] I’m a failure at hosting a killing game, a failure at causing despair, and I’m even a failure at being Monokuma.

**Damn, he got depressive fast.**

John: [nods slightly] Yeah, that’s right. You’re the worst.

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] I need to step up my game! And what better way to do that than to learn from the best?

**Damn, he perked up fast.**

Monokuma: [bares claw angrily] But it’s not just me! You guys need to step up too! [satisfied look] And to that end, we’re going to have a shared learning experience!

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Learning experience? What are you on about?

Monokuma: [giggles to himself] Puhuhuhu~! Just what I said! We’re going to learn from the best! [belly laugh] And we’re going to learn in glorious HD!

**Suddenly there was a massive rumbling sound, and a large section of the wall pulled into itself. A gigantic monitor extended from the missing segment of wall, and a few dozen smaller monitors extended from various other points in the room. Almost as an afterthought, a pair of security cameras dropped from the ceiling in opposite corners of the cafeteria.**

Caleb: [clutches hat in shock] Whoa, nelly!

Maria: [flails arms wildly] [panicked expression] AGH- SHIT! What?! How?!

Ryan: [shocked expression] What the fuck? Where did all this shit come from?

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] [rolls eyes] The walls, dearie.

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] Thanks, captain fucking obvious!

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Whoa. This is a lot more prepared than I thought he was.

Ray: No kidding.

**Installing these monitors must have taken a lot of preparation. How is it possible that he had the time to set this up, but not the foresight to set the rules?**

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Sorry, but, how did you have time to set these up? You didn’t even remember to set the rules.

**Dammit Will, let me have my narration.**

Monokuma: [sweats nervously] Well, uh… That is… [lunges forward, angry] It’s not important! [turns to show black side, raises paw] Right now it’s time to share!

John: [mildly frowns] Share what?

Monokuma: [giggles to himself] I’m so glad you asked! Roll the footage!

**The giant monitor came to life. It was displaying a building I didn’t recognize. I did recognize the symbol on the front, though. I’d seen it several times before, during the televised killing game. The building must have been Hope’s Peak Academy.**

**The scene changed to a more familiar one. It looked like the inside of a classroom, something else I recognized from the broadcast. Sitting with his head face down on a desk was a boy. As he sat up, something appeared on one of the smaller screens.**

[[MAKOTO NAEGI, ULTIMATE LUCKY STUDENT]]

 

**Oh, shit. No wonder it all looks so similar. This _is_ the televised killing game.**

**This must be what he meant by ‘learn from the best’.**

**… That also explains where I got the idea for the title cards. Damn, I thought I was being clever for once.**

Ray: Why are you showing us the killing game?

Caleb: [tips hat down] What’s your angle here, partner?

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Like I said, this is for learning! [faces away] Geez, you kids have no short-term memory, do you?

Monokuma: [neutral expression] We’re all going to watch this broadcast, and do our very best to learn from their example. [turns to show white side, acting bashful] I’ll be studying Monokuma as played by the glorious Junko Enoshima. [turns to show black side, raises paw] And you guys will be watching the others so you can learn to kill each other properly!

Maria: [confused expression] Is this…? Are you trying to give us a motive?

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] You can’t do that, we’re still in the Prologue!

**Ow, my fourth wall. It hurts.**

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Are we really? Well I know how to fix that!

**Wait, what? You do?**

**_Prologue: Familiar Scenery_ **

**_End_ **

**_Actors Remaining: 16_ **

 

John

Brittany         Phoebe

William                      Jacob

Emily                               Maria

Caleb                                      Adrian

Madeline                          April

Ryan                           Eric

Veronica       Autumn

Raymond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That little circle is also how they're arranged in the trial room, in case that wasn't immediately obvious.
> 
> Thanks to me realizing there's still a ton of time left in this first day, we're going to have six Free Time events instead of five. I may also stick in an extra Free Time or two if a page is running unusually short, so feel free to vote for more than one person at a time. Remember you can vote for Ray as well as the others. So vote away in the comments!
> 
> Next up, a quick page of Report Cards. And then we start working toward some dead folks.


	3. Report Cards + Physical Appearance

**Raymond L. Glenshaw**

Ultimate Narrator

Height: 5’ 9” (175cm) / Weight: 147lb (67kg) / Chest: 36” (91.5cm) / Blood Type: AB

Birthday: August 26

Likes: Pasta, Westerns, showing off his talent ( _i.e._ Talking in general)

Dislikes: Mint flavored anything

Appearance\- Raymond wears a black and grey waistcoat over a long-sleeved dark green button down shirt, along with black slacks. He has short blond hair, complete with the obligatory cowlick.

 

**Autumn Rowe**

Ultimate Comedienne

Height: 5’ 5” (165cm) / Weight: 117lb (53kg) / Chest: 35” (88cm) / Blood Type: B

Birthday: April 16

Likes: Misplaced color, bad jokes

Dislikes: Short people

Appearance\- Autumn wears a purple vest over a brown t-shirt. She is the only character wearing the Danganronpa Standard Issue Miniskirt™, which is the same color as her vest. Her shoulder length hair is also Danganronpa Smart Girl Pink™, dyed from a natural black.

 

**Jacob Centworth**

Ultimate Butler

Height: 6’ 1” (185cm) / Weight: 166lb (75kg) / Chest: 36” (91.5cm) / Blood Type: AB

Birthday: July 9

Likes: Cleaning, helping others

Dislikes: Disrespectful people

Appearance\- Jacob wears a dark blue tuxedo at all times. His hair is an unnatural grey color, and is long enough to be tied back into a ponytail.

 

**Phoebe Williams**

Ultimate Locksmith

Height: 5’ 0” (153cm) / Weight: 90lb (41kg) / Chest: Not really (29” [74cm]) / Blood Type: A

Birthday: April 4

Likes: Fish, crustaceans, anything associated with the ocean

Dislikes: Large crowds

Appearance\- Phoebe is dressed like an explorer for some reason. She wears a tool belt around her waist that has various metal tools poking out of it. She has weathered glasses that she has to fix frequently. Her long brown hair is tied into braids.

 

**Caleb Turnbull**

Ultimate Rancher

Height: 6’ 3” (191cm) / Weight: 208lb (94kg) / Chest: 40” (101cm) / Blood Type: B

Birthday: May 26

Likes: Tricking people, hats

Dislikes: Liars

Appearance\- Caleb is dressed like a cowboy. He wears a leather vest over a long-sleeved red shirt, a black bandana tied around his neck and jeans fastened by a belt with an absurd buckle. He wears cowboy boots, as well as a proper 10-gallon hat over short blond hair.

 

**Madeline Watters**

Ultimate Fashion Designer

Height: 5’ 7.5” (172cm) / Weight: 122lb (55kg) / Chest: 32” (81cm) / Blood Type: O

Birthday: August 19

Likes: Good use of color, cosplay

Dislikes: The scent of tuna

Appearance\- Madeline wears a simple, yet opulent light blue dress as well as white opera gloves. Her blond hair is fashioned into an updo, held in place by a plain black headband.

 

**Ryan Sommer**

Ultimate Landscaper

Height: 5’ 10” (178cm) / Weight: 168lb (76kg) / Chest: 37” (94cm) / Blood Type: O

Birthday: April 29

Likes: Vegetables, artful swearing

Dislikes: Being indoors

Appearance\- Ryan wears a simple gray t-shirt and jeans, as well as yellow gardening gloves and a green baseball cap over short brown hair.

 

**Veronica Kinder**

Ultimate Pyrotechnician

Height: 5’ 7” (170cm) / Weight: 123lb (56kg) / Chest: 35” (89cm) / Blood Type: B

Birthday: May 27

Likes: Fire, candy, lighting candy on fire

Dislikes: The dark

Appearance\- Veronica wears an orange flame-retardant jumpsuit that has either matches, lighters, or candy in every pocket. She also wears flame retardant gloves. Her red hair is long, but is usually tucked into the back of her jumpsuit so it doesn’t catch fire.

 

**John Smith**

Ultimate Nondescript

Height: 5’ 9.5” (176cm) / Weight: 158lb (72kg) / Chest: 34” (86.5cm) / Blood Type: O

Birthday: September 16

Likes: Meat

Dislikes: The word ‘moist’

Appearance\- John wears a blue button down shirt and brown slacks. His hair is short and brown. Beyond that, he has no specific identifiable features, and cannot be adequately described.

 

**April Collins**

Ultimate Architect

Height: 6’ 2” (188cm) / Weight: 152lb (69kg) / Chest: 31” (79cm) / Blood Type: AB

Birthday: December 31

Likes: Romance novels, new paper

Dislikes: Wasting time

Appearance\- April wears a black pantsuit complimented by a yellow hard hat. She carries a 4-foot-long blue plastic poster tube full of multiple blueprints in various stages of completion. She has chest length black hair that is normally brushed away from her eyes, but falls to cover them when flustered.

 

**Adrian Strauss**

Ultimate Cake Decorator

Height: 5’ 6” (168cm) / Weight: 129lb (58.5kg) / Chest: 33" (84cm) / Blood Type: AB

Birthday: June 14

Likes: Frosting, cake

Dislikes: That poofy chef’s hat

Appearance\- Adrian wears a white chef’s outfit improperly, with several buttons being either misplaced or undone. His apron is short, and meant to be tied at the waist, but he ties it around his neck. Consequently, his pants have several multicolored stains on them, mostly from various types of frosting. He keeps his black hair cut short so he doesn’t have to keep it neat.

 

**Brittany Day**

Ultimate Tour Guide

Height: 6’ 0” (183cm) / Weight: 148lb (67kg) / Chest: 37” (94cm) / Blood Type: O

Birthday: October 1

Likes: Water, smiles

Dislikes: Depression

Appearance\- Brittany has four fanny packs strapped to her waist that contain various useful items, like water, snacks or flashlights. Her backpack contains more of the same, as well as the battery pack for the tiny speaker she has strapped to her shirt. She wears a pink shirt and tan shorts. Her shoulder-length blond hair is tied back into a ponytail, and she never really stops smiling.

 

**William Robinson**

Ultimate Archer

Height: 5’ 4” (163cm) / Weight: 127lb (57.5kg) / Chest: 35” (89cm) / Blood Type: B

Birthday: April 18

Likes: Cedar wood

Dislikes: Apples

Appearance\- William wears a white tunic, with a smaller red cloth worn around his shoulders. His hat is a small green felt cap, which he wears solely because he thinks it makes him look like Robin Hood. He attaches his bow, Altdorf, to the quiver strapped to his back. His dark brown hair reaches his neck.

 

**Emily Yoder**

Ultimate Astronaut

Height: 5’ 8” (173cm) / Weight: 131lb (59.5kg) / Chest: 33” (84cm) / Blood Type: A

Birthday: July 20

Likes: Space

Dislikes: Heights

Appearance\- Emily wears a custom fit orange space suit, complete with oxygen tank. The helmet it removable, and capable of retracting with the press of a button. She has short blond hair and noticeable freckles.

 

**Eric Decker**

Ultimate Impressionist

Height: 5’ 11” (180cm) / Weight: 150lb (68kg) / Chest: 34” (86.5cm) / Blood Type: O

Birthday: November 14

Likes: Comedy, painting

Dislikes: Silence

Appearance\- Eric wears what would be a white 3-piece suit if it weren’t splattered with paints of various colors in an effort to make it resemble an impressionist painting. His hat is an old grey felt thing that was at one point a fedora, but is currently in a state of serious disrepair. He keeps his not-quite-brown but not-quite-orange hair relatively short and unkempt.

 

**Maria Corsano**

Ultimate Doomsday Prepper

Height: 5’ 3” (160cm) / Weight: 113lb (51kg) / Chest: 38” (96.5cm) / Blood Type: A

Birthday: December 21

Likes: Closed spaces, people, tomatoes

Dislikes: Large groups, solitude

Appearance\- Maria wears a black jacket over another, thinner black jacket, all over a dark green t-shirt. Each jacket is covered in what would be an unreasonable number of pockets for anyone other than the Ultimate Doomsday Prepper. Her black cargo pants and backpack are likewise stuffed with anything she could theoretically need, which is everything. She also has chest length black hair that hangs freely.

 

John

Brittany           Phoebe

William                       Jacob

Emily                                Maria

Caleb                                       Adrian

Madeline                               April

Ryan                            Eric

Veronica          Autumn

Raymond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to ignore those descriptions if you'd rather picture them some other way. I actually described a few characters different from how I picture them myself. They're mainly there to have something to work with.
> 
> I'd have called Ray's cowlick the proper ahoge, but I think I forfeited my right to use the term as soon as I decided to write this story with American characters. And speaking of Ray, behold his middle initial. Great secrets lie within. Or not, since his middle name can actually be reasoned out if you think about his character and do some googling.
> 
> Next up, we begin Chapter 1 and see Adrian and Ray's first Free Time events.


	4. Chapter 1: Monokuma Theater Presents - Studio Life of Mutual Killing: The Movie: The Game: Daily Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Adrian Strauss Power Hour, where Adrian manages to have about 500 more lines than he was intended to have. Seriously, that asshole was not supposed to be important in this chapter, but apparently I am incapable of following a plan.

_**Chapter 1** _

_**Monokuma Theater Presents - Studio Life of Mutual Killing: The Movie: The Game** _

_**Daily Life** _

 

**The hell? What just- I don’t- What did Monokuma just do? It feels like something just happened, but as far as I can tell nothing did.**

**Hold on a second. Where did he go?**

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Uh, guys? Where did Monokuma go?

**Oh goddammit. I was hoping that joke wouldn’t carry over.**

Maria: [looks off to the side] He has to be in the room somewhere. I didn’t hear the doors open, and I’m right by them.

Jacob: [neutral, yet neutral expression] I am near them as well, but I did not hear them either. [neutral, yet thoughtful expression] But then again, I did not hear the doors when Monokuma entered initially. Curious.

Caleb: [rubs chin] I recall he had some kinda tunnel system during the broadcast. [makes gun with hand and points at monitor] You know, that one?

Madeline: [fans her face] As opposed to that other killing game that was broadcast to the world? [rolls eyes] We know what you mean, Caleb. We have eyes.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [grins] ‘Course you do. [rubs chin] Anyway, it’s a fair assumption that he set up some kinda tunnel system in this buildin’ too.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] That makes some sense. These monitors are set up pretty elaborately, so it can’t have been a quick job. He could’ve made tunnels then.

Ray: It’s a bit ridiculous. How did he have time for these extensive renovations, but forget the rules?

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Maybe he forgot the rules on purpose?

Veronica: [unwraps new lollipop] [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] You’re thinking he was, like, trying to throw us off? That if we saw he forgot something as simple as setting the rules, we would, like, let our guards down?

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] If that’s what he was doing, then it worked. Those monitors appearing with all that fanfare scared me half to death.

**To be fair, it doesn’t seem that hard to do. I mean, Autumn did it on accident earlier.**

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] It wasn’t just the rules, either. He spent a lot of time looking like a dumbass, and that threw us off.

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] _A lot_ of time. That’s forty-five minutes I’m never getting back.

Adrian: [wide-eyed] Wait, forty-five minutes? It’s been that long?

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] Yeah. That thing took a lot of time to say a lot of nothing.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [wide-eyed] …Fuck. [leaves]

Emily: [tilts helmeted head] Where’s he going in such a hurry?

John: [neutral expression] Wasn’t he making a cake?

 

[[flashback]]

Emily: [on a tangent] This cereal is awful, though.

John: [can’t remember his face] It’s pretty bland and forgettable.

Adrian: [manhandling a bag of frosting] [half-assed description of a smile] If you wait about half-an-hour I’ll be finished making a bland and forgettable cake that looks really neat.

[[end flashback]]

 

**I think I’ll be keeping that gag. It adds a certain something.**

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] [rolls eyes] Yes, because an overcooked cake is _such_ a travesty.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] You do know there are ways to communicate other than snarky asides, right?

Madeline: [wipes her brow gracefully] I have been polite at least once today.

Ray: You make it sound like you have a quota.

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] One must keep up appearances at least some of the time.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Speaking of keeping up appearances!

**Nice transition.**

Eric: [poses dramatically] I have business to attend to! If I cannot meet the challenge I have been presented, then I do not deserve to call myself the Ultimate Impressionist!

**He’s not going to let that go, is he?**

Eric: [poses dramatically] I shall be off! [leaves]

Phoebe: [adjusts glasses] Announcing it like that isn’t really necessary.

Jacob: [neutral, yet thoughtful expression] Sir Strauss is not the most careful of individuals. He will likely make a mess attempting to salvage the cake. [neutral, yet friendly expression] I shall go and make sure the kitchen remains usable when he is finished with it. [leaves]

Ryan: [agitated expression] I’m gonna head outside. I’ve been in here way too fucking long, and I need a breather. [leaves]

April: [hair falls over eyes] [embarrassed expression] I, uh, I think I’ll go out-outside too. You know, uh, g-get some fresh air, or s-something. [leaves]

Veronica: [glances away from flame] Oh, are we all leaving now? [puts out match] Cool. I’m gonna go do… something, then, I guess. [leaves]

Phoebe: [raises hand] Um, why are we all leaving? I’m not sure we’ve even really finished the meeting or anything- [leaves] Oh okay I guess I’m leaving too? Uh, bye!

John: [neutral expression] I’m going to go see if these monitors turned up elsewhere. [leaves]

Emily: [folds arms] Not gonna finish this cereal, so I’ll leave too. [leaves]

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Well, shit, we all cleared out fast.

Maria: [looks off to the side] Sixteen people in one place makes it hard to balance who talks.

Will: [scratches neck] Sorry about that. I’ll try not to talk so much.

Maria: [confused expression] I didn’t really mean you specifically, Will.

Will: [nervous smile] Oh, sorry about that.

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] Dearie, you do not need to apologize for everything.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Yeah, so quit your yapping.

**Did you two switch characterization for a second there?**

Will: [hugs his bow] [whimpers sadly] ……

Brittany: [hands on hips] We should get out of here too!

Ray: What do you mean by ‘we’?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Ray] You, ya goof!

Ray: Me?

**Did you seriously just call me a goof?**

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Of course! Don’t you remember? [speaks into microphone] You need to take the grand tour!

Ray: What? Oh! Right, you said something about that.

**[[flashback]]**

**Haha, no. It was literally one line. We don’t need a flashback here.**

Ray: Sure, I’ll take the grand tour. I can’t imagine there’s much to this building.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Ooh! Can I come along? [folds arms with friendly smile] I haven’t had a chance to get a good look around yet.

Brittany: [double thumbs-up] The more the merrier!

Ray: Uh…

**Oh sweet Jesus. Am I really about to take a tour with Autumn and Brittany at the same time? I don’t think I can handle that much raw pep by myself. No one could. I need some backup here.**

Ray: Actually, can you give me a minute? I just realized I haven’t eaten anything today, and I’m starving.

Brittany: [snaps] Sure! [holds out water bottle] Make sure you have something to wash it down with!

**I took the bottle she offered.**

Ray: Yeah, sure.

**I tried not to look like I was fleeing as I made my way to the kitchen area. Adrian and Jacob were pulling something that vaguely resembled a cake out of the oven.**

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] Greetings, Sir Glenshaw.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] You know he has a first name, right?

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] I am aware, yes. However, using first names assumes too much intimacy for a proper butler. I shall continue using the surnames of those present unless requested otherwise.

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] Then can you just call me Adrian? I can barely remember my own last name most of the time, let alone everyone else’s.

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] [bows slightly] As you wish, Sir Adrian.

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] That’s not… [bored expression] Whatever.

Ray: Sorry, am I interrupting something?

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] No? We only started talking when you walked over, how could you be interrupting anything?

Ray: Right. Anyway, Adrian, do you have a minute?

Adrian: [shrugs] Sure, yeah. I’ve gotta wait for this cake to cool down before I can properly decorate it. Why?

Ray: I need you to come on a tour with me, or I’m going to die.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Can’t say I’ve heard that one before.

Ray: Brittany wanted to show me around the place, and Autumn volunteered to come along.

Jacob: [neutral, yet thoughtful expression] Ah, I see. You need Sir Adrian’s assistance so you are not overwhelmed by their combined cheer.

Ray: Yeah. You’re easily the most depressing person here, and I figure that you’ll balance out their ridiculous amounts of pep.

**It suddenly occurred to me that calling someone depressing is _probably_ an insult.**

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] You need me to follow you around and just be pessimistic? [half-assed confident smile] Oh I can _definitely_ do that.

Ray: Oh thank God.

Jacob: [neutral, yet proud expression] That is very noble of you, Sir Adrian. I wish you the best of luck in this quest.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [half-assed confident smile] I won’t need luck. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s pessimism.

Ray: I thought it was cake decorating?

Adrian: [shrugs] Is there a difference?

Ray: …Yes?

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Look, take it from me. There is no such thing as an optimistic cake decorator.

Ray: I guess you’re the expert.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [half-assed confident smile] Damn straight.

**I turned to walk over to where Brittany and Autumn were waiting, realized my excuse about being hungry was actually true, grabbed a plate of food, and then actually walked over.**

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Yo. Ray said you were taking a tour. I haven’t looked around yet, so I figured I’d come along. You mind?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Adrian] Of course not! I wouldn’t be much of a tour guide if I turned down opportunities to guide tours!

**That’s rather helpfully tautological.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] Let’s begin the tour!

**We left the cafeteria through the double doors, arriving back in the cross shaped hallway where the rooms were. We were immediately greeted by several loud voices that I didn’t recognize.**

???: Wh-? Waaaaaah! That teddy bear can talk!

???: Calm down! I’m sure there’s just a speaker inside it.

**What the hell? I thought I met everyone.**

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Huh. That’s weird.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Of course it’s out here, too.

Ray: What are you talking about?

Brittany: [snaps] [points above Ray] If you’ll direct your attention to the wall above you, you’ll be able to see what they’re talking about.

**I looked up to the wall directly above the cafeteria doors. A monitor had been placed there that I didn’t recall seeing before. Like the ones in the cafeteria, this one was playing the footage from the broadcast. Unlike the ones in the cafeteria, this one was really loud.**

Ray: Why the hell is it so loud?

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] It’s pretty cramped in this hallway, especially compared to the cafeteria. The sound probably bounces off the walls, so it only seems louder.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Or, alternately, Monokuma turned the volume up out here just to fuck with us.

Monokuma: [appears] [neutral expression] Adrian is correct! That puts the score at Adrian: 1, Autumn: 0! [leaves]

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Ooh! We’re having a competition now?! [shit-eating grin] I’m not about to lose to you, Adrian!

Adrian: [shrugs] Uh, sure, I guess? [bored expression] Whatever floats your boat.

Ray: Is nobody going to question where he just came from?

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Nope!

Ray: Okay then.

 

Brittany: *bzzzzt*

 

**AGH! That actually hurts when I’m this close to it!**

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tries to keep smiling] Oh wow, that really travels in here doesn’t it? Sorry about that!

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] Don’t worry about it. That just destroyed my eardrums, so now they can’t hurt anymore. The problem solved itself.

Ray: Please tell me you had a reason for that?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [nods vigorously] I did indeed! [snaps] Here we begin the first part of our tour!

Ray: In the hallway?

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] This is the hallway! As you may have noticed, this hallway is arranged in a cross shape. It acts as the center of this building, connecting the four sections at the sides. The cafeteria we just exited is in the West section of the building.

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] The main thing to be found within these hallways are the entrances to our various rooms. There are four rooms each in the Northwest, Southwest, Northeast and Southeast corners.

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] In the Northwest corner is Emily, Myself, Adrian and Ryan; in the Southwest corner is Maria, Phoebe, Eric and Will; in the Northeast corner is April, Madeline, Ray and John; and finally, in the Southeast corner is Autumn, Veronica, Caleb and Jacob.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] And that’s the tour of the main hallway! Any questions?

**My hand went up.**

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Ray] Yes, Ray?

Ray: Did you really need to read off who was in each room? They have signs.

**I pointed at the large golden star on the nearest door, which had a photo of Adrian posted above his full name.**

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Those weren’t there before. I’d have noticed when I went to get you, Ray.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Monokuma probably put them up while we were still doing our introductions.

Monokuma: [appears] [neutral expression] Adrian is correct! That puts the score at Adrian: 2, Autumn: 0! [leaves]

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Wha…? Hey! I’m the one who noticed the difference! [pouts, looking downwards] That was my point.

Adrian: [shrugs] Sorry…?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Ray] That’s a good question, Ray! [hands on hips] But those signs don’t mean much if you can’t see them. So I have to make sure the people who can’t see them know these things! [winks] If you get my meaning?

Ray: I get it, yeah.

Brittany: [hands on hips] Anyway, let’s continue the tour, shall we?

**She didn’t wait for a response this time, and motioned for us to follow her. She turned left in the middle of the hall, so we were facing north. I’m sharing that for the sake of the people who can’t see it.**

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] Over here is where we’re going to find the entrance to the building, as well as the only entrance to the-

???: This goddamn, cock-sucking, _motherfucking_ PIECE OF SHIT DOOR!

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Hey, we found Ryan.

**I’m betting even the people who couldn’t hear him could tell that.**

**We walked out of the main hallway into an entrance area that was smaller than I expected. Ryan was viciously assaulting an innocent door while April watched from the side.**

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [bares teeth] _Open you piece of shit_!

April: [hair over eyes] [looks around uncomfortably] I, uh, I don’t think you’re go-going to open it by sh-shouting.

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [bares teeth] Then I’m not _trying hard enough_!

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Having fun there, Ryan?

Ryan: [throws arms up in irritation] Oh yeah! I’m having a _blast_ trying to unlock a _fucking door_.

April: [hugs tube] [laughs nervously] …It’s pretty funny to w-watch, honestly.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Unlock it? Is it locked?

Ryan: [agitated expression] No, I just get my jollies shouting at unlocked doors. [balls hand into fist] Of course it’s fucking locked!

Autumn: [holds up notepad] And that’s one more fetish for my notes! It sure took you a while to answer that.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] I don’t remember this door having a lock when I checked it earlier.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Monokuma probably added it while we weren’t looking.

Monokuma: [appears] [neutral expression] Adrian is correct! That puts the score at Adrian: 3, Autumn: 0! [leaves]

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Hey, wait! I wasn’t paying attention! That shouldn’t count!

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] That one was barely even an observation. I don’t feel like I’m earning these points.

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] At least you _are_ earning them.

**It’s good to know my anti-pep plan is working, if not in the way I expected.**

Phoebe: [appears] [friendly wave] Hi! I heard a bunch of shouting form over here, and I heard the word lock a few times so I figured maybe someone was trying to shout for my help but had forgotten my name or something. [twiddles thumbs] It’s, uh, Phoebe, for the record.

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] Can you get this _stupid fucking_ -! [closes eyes] [takes a deep breath] Sorry. Can you get this open?

Phoebe: [pulls tools from belt] Do bears poop in the woods?

April: [hugs tube] [looks around uncomfortably] …Not if they’re p-polar bears.

**Phoebe knelt down and started working on the lock.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] Now’s a good a time as any to give a quick overview of the entrance!

**There’s nothing in here. What can you go over?**

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] This is the entrance! As you can see, this room serves no purpose other than acting as a passageway to three areas, as well as to the outside!

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] The first of those areas is the main hallway, which we just came from. To the West you’ll find the laundromat, which we’ll enter in a moment. To the East is what I’ve been calling the Control Room, for reasons that I will explain when we get there.

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] It would be prudent to note that this is the only way to enter the laundromat. While other rooms at the edge connect to each other, none of the rooms connect to the cafeteria. Since the laundromat is directly adjacent to the cafeteria, this means it only connects to this entrance area.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] And that’s our tour of the entrance! Any questions?

**Nobody moved, though Ryan and April gave her a strange look.**

Phoebe: [narrows eyes] [frowns] Who would do this?

Ray: What happened?

Phoebe: [narrows eyes] [frowns] Stupid happened. Take a look at this.

**Phoebe held up her hand, which was full of tiny metal bits and pieces.**

Ray: I assume that’s what you took off the lock?

Phoebe: [adjusts glasses] It’s not just some of the lock, it’s all of it. It was purely for show. [twiddles thumbs] I don’t know what’s keeping this door locked, but I can’t reach it from this side unless I actually take apart the door. And that’s, uh, not really something I can do.

Ryan: [agitated expression] So you’re saying you can’t open it?

Phoebe: [twiddles thumbs] Yeah, sorry. I’m a locksmith, not a, uh… door… smith? [adjusts glasses] Door-maker? Doorman? Is there even a word for ‘person who makes doors’?

April: [stands up straight] Not really. They’re just made by carpenters.

Ryan: [throws arms up in irritation] Well that’s just _fucking wonderful_ , isn’t it?

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Carpenters are pretty cool, huh?

Ryan: [agitated expression] I meant the door, you jackass.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] I know what you meant. I just don’t care.

Ryan: [grips his chest] Jiminy Fucking Cricket. You and this door are giving me heartburn. [concerned expression] I’m gonna go see if there’s any other way out of this giant asshole box we’re all stuck in. [leaves]

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Giant asshole box? Is he saying that the box is an asshole, or that the box is full of assholes?

Ray: With him, it could be either one.

April: [hugs tube] [looks around nervously] I guess I sh-should go finish my b-building plan. B-because it’s so difficult to n-navigate a square. [leaves]

Phoebe: [raises hand] Oh, are we all doing that thing where we leave for no reason again? I mean, it’s not like we have anything left to do here but there’s still things we could talk about or someth- [leaves] And this is happening again, nevermind.

**Can anyone in this building leave a room normally?**

Brittany: [hands on hips] [snaps] Well everyone, that’s everything in this room! Let’s move on!

**We followed her as she walked left down the hallway, through the first non-double doorway I’d seen so far, aside from the rooms.**

**The room was, well, a laundromat. It had washing machines, dryers and a little dispenser for various soaps and detergents. There were also some clotheslines hanging from the ceiling, which was noticeably lower than the other rooms and hallways.**

**Veronica was in the room, watching a washer while she fiddled with a match.**

Veronica: [stares at flame] ……

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] This is the laundromat! It has exactly eight washers and eight dryers. Over here you can get detergent, soaps, and anything else you might need for keeping your clothing fresh and clean.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] And that’s our tour of the laundromat! Any questions?

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] That one was pretty short.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [giggles] Well, it’s a laundromat. There’s not much in here. [snaps] There’s not even a trash can.

Autumn: [glances to the side] So if you wanna murder somebody, don’t do it in here.

Ray: That’s a really morbid thought to have.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Hey, I’m just saying. Unless the weapon was, say, a dip pen, to use a meaninglessly specific example, you don’t really have anywhere to hide it in here. [folds arms with thoughtful look] Plus, with only one exit to this room you’d be practically guaranteed to be seen by someone.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] You know the odds of any of the people in this room murdering someone are slim to none, right?

Veronica: [glances away from flame] Huh? Who’s murdering who now?

Brittany: [double thumbs-up] Nobody’s murdering anybody, as long as I’m guiding us!

**I guess she’s volunteered herself as our leader? We could have worse than the Ultimate Tour Guide.**

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] What are you doing here, Veronica? You can’t have that much dirty laundry already.

Veronica: [puts out match] [pulls lollipop out of mouth] I don’t. There’s, like, only one jumpsuit in there.

Ray: Then why are you washing it?

Veronica: [tries to light lollipop with unlit match] Have you checked your wardrobes lately? ‘Cause I’d be willing to bet you’re missing anything that doesn’t match your current clothes, like, almost exactly.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] So, you’re missing your other clothes?

Veronica: [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] Yep.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] And you think the rest of us are missing our clothes too?

Veronica: [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] I totally do. [points with unlit match] Mainly because I think Monokuma stole our shit.

Monokuma: [appears] [neutral expression] Veronica is correct! That puts the score at Adrian: 3, Veronica: 1, Autumn: 0! [leaves]

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] Oh, sweet, I got a point! [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] …So, like… What do I get?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] You get a sad comedienne.

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] ……

Adrian: [shrugs] Hey, at least it wasn’t my fault this time.

Ray: Can we go back to the part where Monokuma stole our clothes?

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] Sure. You guys should still have some spare changes of clothes, if he did the same thing for you as he did for me. I only brought along, like, three jumpsuits like this one, along with some really simple underclothes. I had some, like, normal outfits too, but he stole everything that didn’t, like, look like this.

Veronica: [points with unlit match] So, like, basically, your closet should be full of anything that resembles what you’re currently wearing. So, like, for you, Ray, it’ll be full of, like, green shirts and stylish waistcoats.

**Fortunately, that describes my entire wardrobe.**

Adrian: [bored expression] Well, that’s annoying.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] That’s a lot of things for Monokuma to do in just the hour or so after Ray showed up.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] The more he did, the more I feel like he actually was faking us out. It makes me wonder what else he’s got up his, uh… sleeves, I guess.

**Even metaphors fail to hold up when faced with Monokuma.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] That’s about it for the laundromat. Shall we?

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] You guys leaving? I’ll just be here if you, like, need me to burn something. [lights match]

**We left the laundromat and walked through the entrance hall to the Control Room, as Brittany had called it.**

**The room had strangely blue lighting throughout it, giving it a calming atmosphere. The main thing of note inside was a pair of computer terminals in the center, with their backs to each other. John was sitting at one of them, but he wasn’t facing the computer.**

Ray: John? Are you… watching the killing game?

John: [nods slightly] Yeah. It’s different than it was during the broadcast. Haven’t you noticed?

Ray: Apparently not. What is it?

John: [raises eyebrow] It’s in English.

**What? Oh, hey, it is. I hadn’t even registered that.**

John: [holds out hand] During the actual broadcast they were speaking Japanese, because they are Japanese. Obviously. [neutral expression] It seems like they had English voices added over the footage.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] The broadcast had pretty good subtitles on it. It always aired at weird times, so I assumed they were added by the mastermind girl, whatsherface... Juko?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Autumn] Enoshima Junko was her name. [hands on hips] Or Junko Enoshima, if you want it first name then last name.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Right, her. [folds arms with thoughtful look] Though the subtitles were still there when she died, so that’s probably actually wrong. Maybe whoever’s controlling our Monokuma dubbed the voices?

**Monokuma didn’t pop up to give her a point, so I assumed her guess was wrong.**

John: [holds out hand] It’s not just dubbed; it’s fully localized for American audiences. They’ve been calling each other by their given names, using English language slang, the one Clairvoyant guy even said he was a year older than the actual one is to be above the American drinking age. [shrugs] It’s been given the full localized anime treatment.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] You’re suggesting that our Monokuma is an agent of 4Kids?

Monokuma: [appears] [neutral expression] Adrian is correct! That puts the score at Adrian: 4, Veronica: 1, Autumn: 0! [leaves]

Autumn: [jaw drops] _What_.

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] Bullshit. I don’t even care about this contest, and I’m actually pissed he just gave me that point. There’s no way that’s true.

Autumn: [glances to the side] [slight frown] This contest is stupid.

Adrian: [bored expression] I couldn’t agree more.

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] This is the Control Room!

**You could’ve used some sort of transition there, Brittany.**

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] In here you’ll notice that there are two computer terminals. One of them is designed to control various things in the Green Room, and the other has control of a few general things around the entire building.

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] The two entrances to this room are from the entrance area to the west and the Green Room to the south.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] And that’s our tour of the Control Room! Any questions?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Yeah, actually. You said the terminals control stuff, but what do they do, specifically?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Adrian] That’s a good question, Adrian! [holds out water bottle] It’s so good that you get a prize!

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] I’m already hydrated, thanks.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Don’t mind if I do!

**Autumn snatched Adrian’s prize from Brittany’s hand and immediately started chugging it. I guess she wasn’t hydrated enough.**

Brittany: [snaps] To answer your question, the Green Room terminal controls the lights, the projector and the effects. I’ll explain that in the room itself. The other terminal keeps track of the contents of the storerooms and the kitchen, as well as keeping a log of something: I couldn’t tell exactly what because it was empty when I checked.

John: [neutral expression] Not anymore.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] What do you mean?

John: [holds out hand] Have a look.

**John clicked an icon on the screen and a spreadsheet popped up. There were eight numbered columns. The first few boxes under the first two columns had the letters ‘EY’ in them, followed by several rows of blank boxes.**

Brittany: [snaps] [points up] Oh, I see what it’s for!

Ray: Mind telling the rest of us?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] I’ll tell you when we get there. We have one more stop first!

**That was apparently our cue to keep moving, because Brittany started walking out the door that she’d mentioned leading to the Green Room.**

**I expected the Green Room to be more green than it actually was. Only the east wall and a small section of wall in the north corner were actually green, everything else was the same shitty off-white color as the rest of the building. It was also really huge, only slightly smaller than the cafeteria.**

**Above the doorway that led into the main hall there was a little platform with a fancy-looking projector system placed on it. A ladder was built into the wall next to it. Hanging from the ceiling was a complex lighting system I recognized as being the kind they have in television studio sets.**

**The room had nothing else in it, with the exception of Eric.**

Eric: [Phoebe’s voice] [friendly wave] Hi! What brings you guys to the Green Glass Room, as I’ve been calling it. [twiddles thumbs] Oh, and by ‘I’ I actually mean me, not Phoebe. I don’t think she calls it that. I try to stay in character with the voice patterns and the general attitude when I’m doing an impression, but I always mean the actual me with first-person pronouns.

Eric: [Will’s voice] [mimes tugging at quiver’s strap] Ah, sorry if that was obvious. Doing Phoebe’s voice means mimicking the random rambling she does. [nervous smile] It’s actually one of the more entertaining voices here.

Ray: I get the ‘Green’ part, but why the ‘Glass’?

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] It’s the name of a game I enjoy playing. You know, what can go in the Green Glass Room? It’s hardly relevant, though. [cups hand around ear] I ask again, what brings you here?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Eric] These three are taking the grand tour! Speaking of which!

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] This is the Green Room! As you can see, it is so named because that wall is really big and really green! I’ve been lead to believe that it is the green used on a standard green screen, so we can take footage or photos here and edit in other backgrounds.

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] That projector there is capable of projecting theater-quality picture onto the wall, using the terminal in the Control Room as its source. There were a few movies loaded onto it when I looked earlier, but odds are Monokuma has removed them.

Monokuma: [appears] [neutral expression] Brittany is correct! That puts the score-

 

Brittany: *bzzzzt*

 

Brittany: [glares with a smile] Please wait until I am done talking to speak.

Monokuma: [miffed expression] …… [neutral expression] …Fine.

**Brittany: 1, Monokuma: 0.**

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] These lights are very adaptable. From the terminal in the Control Room they can be raised, lowered, dimmed, brightened, aimed, shifted around the room and even shine in various colors to set the overall mood.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] And that’s our tour of the Green Room! Any questions?

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Brittany is correct! That puts the score at Adrian: 4, Veronica: 1, Brittany: 1, Autumn: 0! [leaves]

Brittany: [glares with a smile] I asked for questions. That was not a question.

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] I have a question. Am I ever gonna get a point?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] I think he’s leaving you out on purpose at this point.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Ooh, nice pun!

Adrian: [wide-eyed] Pun? What pun?

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] You know, ‘at this point’, when we were talking about points! I like it!

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Christ, you’re easily amused.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] My talent is to amuse easily. It works both ways.

**Dammit Adrian, did you just give her more pep? You are so fired.**

Eric: [Brittany’s voice] [hands on hips] Alright everyone, there’s only one more place to go!

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] You’re right, but how did you know that?

Eric: [rubs chin] Ha-ha! It was a simple logical deduction! You just entered here from the Blue Man Room, but I did not see you pass by earlier. [poses dramatically] Consequently, you must have entered the Blue Man Room from the Emptranceway, thus you must have toured it already.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] The Sanitation Chamber can only be entered from the Emptranceway, so if your tour took you there it must have been before you entered here. [rubs chin] Plus, I know you’ve seen the Food Hall and the Crossway, since I saw you there.

Eric: [poses dramatically] However, I can partly see into the Hoardroom from here. If you had gone through it, you would have certainly entered my view. [pounds chest with fist] Thus, I can conclude you have visited every room except for the Hoardroom. [smug smile] Do I have it about right?

Ray: If those names mean the rooms I think they do, then you’re right.

**What’s up with those nicknames, anyway? Did your character not have enough quirks already?**

Eric: [smug smile] Excellent.

Brittany: [hands on hips] Alright everyone, there’s only one more place to go!

**Did you just do an impression of Eric doing an impression of you?**

**We headed south toward the storerooms. There was no doorway separating them from the Green Glass- err, Green Room. Nor was there a wall. They were more like one large, connected room than two separate ones. From the Green Room I could see there were at least three shuttered storage rooms, each with a large number on the shutter.**

**As we rounded the corner I saw there were eight storerooms in total, each with a device that looked like a keycard scanner mounted next to them. One of them, the fifth, was open. Hearing us approach, Emily stepped out from inside.**

Emily: [helmet down] [toothy smile] Heya! What’re you all doin’ here?

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] We’re taking a tour, what’s it look like we’re doing?

Emily: [shrugs] Doesn’t look like you’re doin’ much of anythin’, actually.

Adrian: [shrugs] Fair enough. What are you doing?

Emily: [raps head with knuckles] Pokin’ around these storerooms. Don’t have anythin’ else to do, and there might be somethin’ cool hidden in them.

Ray: Find anything interesting?

Emily: [points off to the side with her thumb] Yup. Look in here.

**I stepped around her into the fifth storeroom. I expected it to be full of… something, at least, but instead it was completely empty. There was, however, another shutter at the back of the storeroom. There was no marking on this one, but it did have a few thin slits that acted as windows.**

Ray: Who puts a shutter behind another shutter?

Emily: [shrugs] Someone who wants to make a decompression chamber, but is also an idiot?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] What can we see through here, I wonder? What mysteries does this shutter hold?

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] It looks like a garage.

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] A garage? That’s not a mystery.

Emily: [raps head with knuckles] You sure? ‘Cause it’s pretty mysterious that it won’t open.

Ray: It won’t? Why not?

Emily: [points off to the side with her thumb] No scanner.

Ray: Why would it need a-

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Ray] Before you ask any more questions, I think it’s time I gave the tour of the Storerooms!

**Thank goodness. All that question-based exposition was getting annoying.**

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] This is the storerooms! [tilts head quizzically] That is to say, _these_ are the storerooms. [speaks into microphone] There are exactly eight storage rooms in total. Each one is numbered, with one being the most east-

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] The meast, you could say.

**We could also not say that.**

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] And eight being the most west-

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Or the… mwest? Mest, maybe? Mest sounds best.

**Mest sounds less.**

**…Let’s see you think of a better rhyme.**

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] Each storeroom has a keycard scanner next to it. When I first came through here the shutters were simply unlocked, but now that we have our eHandbooks I’d hazard a guess that we need to scan them to open the shutters.

Emily: [holds up hand] Checked that. You’re right. [raps head with knuckles] It’s why we can’t get this double shutter open.

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] That would also explain the log in the Control Room. There was an ‘EY’ in a few columns, which are Emily’s initials. That log must be designed to keep track of who opens each storeroom.

Brittany: [speaks into microphone] As you surely noticed when we entered, there is an unobstructed passage between the Green Room and the storerooms. However, while the first three can be easily seen from there, the fourth through eighth rooms are not visible until you are actually in the storeroom hallway.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] And that’s our tour of the storerooms! Any questions?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] If you didn’t need the handbooks to open the shutters before, then could you get the second shutter open before?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Adrian] Yes, actually! You can see it through the slits; that shutter blocks the way to a rather large garage! I didn’t check what was outside of it, but there wasn’t anything interesting in there.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] So what’s in these other storerooms?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Autumn] I’d tell you, but this page is already about 30% me explaining things. Take a look for yourselves!

**First Autumn, and now you. Seriously, is pep the only thing you need to break the fourth wall? That thing is made of some cheap shit.**

**Regardless, we actually started investigating the storerooms ourselves.**

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Number One’s got all that filming equipment they mentioned, mainly cameras and microphones.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Two’s got more of the same. Plus, a big wooden stage, some speakers, and some instruments.

**I scanned my own eHandbook at the third storeroom and opened the shutter.**

Ray: Weird. This one’s got all kinds of cloth, sewing machines, tailoring kits, etcetera. Madeline would probably have a field day with this stuff.

Emily: [neutral expression] Couple of these things have real specific contents.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Four’s full of a bunch of random furniture. Some of it looks real, but I think most of it is that fake breakaway stuff they use in movies.

**Autumn skipped the already open storeroom five and went straight to storeroom six.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] There’s a bunch of random junk in here. I see boring props, like fake books and fake picture frames, but there’s also some useful stuff in here like art supplies, banners and dollies for moving stuff.

**I opened the seventh storeroom.**

Ray: …Vending machines?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] In a storeroom?

**I pressed a few buttons on the nearest one and a bag of chips fell out.**

Ray: Looks like they don’t need any money or anything. It’s just free junk food and soda.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] Ooh! This’ll be a fun room! [folds arms with friendly smile] We can go here for comfort food after people get murdered.

**Why do you sound so happy about that?**

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] Nobody’s gonna get murdered. Not with the farce Monokuma’s been putting up so far.

**I certainly hope so. Having seen the Hope’s Peak students sentencing each other to death during the trials, I can’t say I look forward to the idea.**

Emily: [holds up hand] Hey Brittany, is it just me or is this thing new?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Huh. Well, it certainly wasn’t there before.

**I followed their gaze to a banner that was hung above the eighth storeroom, which had the word ‘necessities’ scrawled on it in terrible handwriting.**

Autumn: [wide smile with arms spread] Ooh, ooh! I know! I bet Monokuma put it up!

Monokuma: [appears] [neutral expression] ……

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] I’m right, aren’t I? I’m gonna get a point!

Monokuma: [miffed expression] You really expect to get a point with an observation as weak as that?! [turns to show black side, raises paw] Fine then, I’ll give you one.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Autumn is correct! That puts the score at Adrian: 104, Veronica: 101, Brittany: 101, Will: 100, Caleb: 100, Emily: 100, Jacob: 100, Phoebe: 100, Madeline: 100, Ryan: 100, April: 100, Eric: 100, Maria: 100, John: 100, Ray: 100, Autumn: 1!

Autumn: [jaw drops] _What_.

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] I’m a kind and generous soul! You weren’t the only one without points, so I figured I’d give everyone else some consolation points! [satisfied look] Ain’t I a stinker? [leaves]

Autumn: [full of despair] I… I’ll… I’ll never… catch up… now…

Adrian: [wide-eyed] Uh… Ray? I think your anti-pep plan may have worked a bit too well.

Emily: [raps head with knuckles] Think she’s broken.

**Say what you will about our Monokuma’s planning, execution, comedic ability and general threat level, he’s already driven one of us to despair with a _running gag_. That’s impressive.**

Ray: So… uh… What’s- uh, what’s in this last one?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Ray] Good question, Ray! I don’t know!

Emily: [shrugs] Don’t look at me. Haven’t checked yet.

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] Might as well check it while we wait for Autumn to reboot.

**Adrian walked over to the eighth storage room and scanned his eHandbook. He gave the shutter a pull and it opened itself the rest of the way.**

**As it opened and we saw what was inside we all went pale. The eighth storeroom was full of the last thing any of us wanted to see. The walls, the floor, every inch of the room was covered in weapons. There were knives, hatchets, bows and actual medieval swords scattered around. Most distressing, however, was the rack of guns along one wall.**

**Adrian grabbed one of the guns off the wall and ejected the cartridge.**

Adrian: [serious expression] I’m no expert, but these don’t look right. [taps head with frosting bag] I think they’re blanks. Which would mean these are props.

Monokuma: [appears] [turns to show white side, acting bashful] Of course they’re props! I wouldn’t want to make it too easy on the blackened, that would be unfair to the rest of you!

Emily: [uncertain expression] And the rest of it?

Monokuma: [neutral expression] All real, of course! [giggles to himself] Puhuhuhu~! You need something to work with, and kitchen knives are so overdone!

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] That’s why it’s labeled ‘necessities’, then?

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Adrian is correct! That puts the score at Adrian: 105, Veronica: 101, Brittany: 101, Will: 100, Caleb: 100, Emily: 100, Jacob: 100, Phoebe: 100, Madeline: 100, Ryan: 100, April: 100, Eric: 100, Maria: 100, John: 100, Ray: 100, Autumn: 1! [leaves]

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] Shit. Sorry, Autumn.

**Autumn made a strained, choking noise that I can’t figure out how to transliterate.**

Brittany: [snaps] [points up] Well everyone, that’s the end of our tour for this morning! I hope you had a pleasant time!

Emily: [shrugs] Wasn’t actually here for most of it, but it was fun while it lasted. [leaves]

Adrian: [bored expression] Glad that’s finally over with. I have to go be useless in the vicinity of a cake. [leaves]

Autumn: [full of despair] …………………… [exaggerated shrug] Ah well, what can you do? [warm smile with wide eyes] You win some, you lose some! [leaves]

**How do you not get whiplash from mood shifts that sudden?**

Ray: Thanks for showing me around, Brittany.

Brittany: [double thumbs-up] No problemo! [snaps] [points at Ray] If you need anything else from your Ultimate Tour Guide you know where to find me! [leaves]

**Do I? I don’t know where I’d find a regular tour guide, let alone the Ultimate Tour Guide.**

**I guess everyone has suddenly decided to vacate my company. I’d say I can’t blame them, but I barely got a word in edgewise with everyone around, so they shouldn’t have a reason to hate me yet. Why would they? I’ve been nothing polite and friendly so far. I think. I haven’t been much of an ass yet, so I’ve got that going for me.**

**I found myself opening the door to my room before I even knew it. There was a monitor newly installed inside, also playing the broadcast. It was quiet enough that I could ignore it for the time being.**

**That felt like it dragged on forever. What time is it?**

**Noon?! Christ, it feels like it should be evening by now! I guess time doesn’t fly when you’re stuck in a building thanks to a teddy bear.**

**There’s not much to do in this place. I guess I should go socialize?**

**FREE TIME START!**

**I quickly went through my mental list of people I could hold normal conversations with. Phoebe, John, Emily and Adrian. That’s… not a lot of people.**

**I left my room and headed for the cafeteria. Everyone but Caleb had already left, but he’s wasn’t the one I was looking for.**

**Adrian and Jacob were both in the kitchen again. Adrian was poking the cake he’d made a few hours ago, apparently assessing its edibility. He glanced at me when I walked up.**

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] You again, Ray? You just can’t stay away from me today, can you? [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Sorry dude, you’re not my type.

 

**Should I spend some time with Adrian?**

**Yes** / No

 

Adrian: [bored expression] This cake has been sitting here for three fucking hours and still hasn’t cooled down. Sure, I’ve got time to chat.

**We stared at the cake for a little while and made small talk, with Adrian occasionally checking its temperature and swearing when it still hadn’t gone down. After about ten minutes of this I noticed Adrian had actually left the stove on, which was heating the cake back up as well as seriously overcooking it.**

**Jacob offered to dispose of the ruined cake, as well as apologize for not noticing the error before I had, and I got some insight into just how bad of a baker Adrian was.**

**I _think_ we got closer from the experience.**

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] You ever wonder why we’re here?

Ray: Didn’t we go over this? We’re here to restore hope via the magic of television.

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] Not that. I mean why we’re here, in a killing game.

Ray: Oh, that. It’s just because Monokuma showed up, isn’t it?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] It is, but _why_? Why’d the stupid thing show up here? There were dozens of countries in the talent scout program, including Japan, where the actual Hope’s Peak is, but he went with us.

Ray: Maybe there’s something about our particular talents that warranted it?

Adrian: [scoffs] Right. Because of all the Ultimates you could possibly have, the group that includes a peppy guide, a generic guy, a guy with a neat voice, and, need I remind you, a _frosting man_ is the one you need to worry about.

**‘Guy with a neat voice’? Is that supposed to be an insult? Because I, personally, only think of my talent as ‘Being good at reading words out loud’.**

Adrian: [bored expression] We shouldn’t be anywhere near important enough to warrant a spectacle like this, and yet here we are.

Ray: It’s not like we aren’t important. We’re trying to fix a part of something that’s massively broken. We’re doing something that has value.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] There’s that word again. ‘Value’. I remember you mentioning that when we spoke earlier.

**Actually, you mentioned it. I just followed up.**

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] I hope you don’t plan on trying to convince me to put value in a talent as shitty as mine.

Ray: I didn’t plan to. I was just trying to help answer your question.

Adrian: [wide-eyed] Oh. Good. [squeezes frosting bag] ‘Cause it wouldn’t have worked.

Ray: I didn’t think it would.

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] Right. Good. Glad we’re on the same page.

**… Now I’m curious.**

Ray: So… I have to ask. Why wouldn’t it have worked?

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] I should’ve kept my mouth shut, huh? Dammit. [shakes his head] Sorry, I’m used to people trying to cheer me up, convince me to have a positive outlook. [bored expression] But I’m fine, y’know? I’m not that cheery, but I’m perfectly content with it. It’s not that big a deal.

Adrian: [bored expression] It would be pretty weird if I was acting cheery, y’know? The world fucking ended, believe it or not. That doesn’t leave a lot to be happy for. [squeezes frosting bag] That’s why people like Brittany and Autumn weird me out. They may be all smiles, but there’s nothing for them to fucking smile for!

Ray: Uh, dude?

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] It’s just a bunch of lies at that point. I don’t know if they’re lying for themselves, or for the rest of us, but I know it’s not helping anyone in the end. [serious expression] That kind of fake optimism is just making false hope in a world that needs _real_ hope, and that’s worse than anything Monokuma could do!

Ray: Adrian?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [wide-eyed] … _Fuck_. Was I monologuing?

Ray: Indeed. You were pretty into it, too.

Adrian: [shakes his head] Goddammit. I didn’t mean to do that. [bored expression] Believe me, I am not interesting enough to monologue.

Ray: You sure? Because I feel like I got a look inside your head, and now I’m intrigued.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Dammit, are you trying to make me feel better about myself again?

Ray: It’s a nasty habit of mine.

Adrian: [half-assed smile] Hah! You actually think you can get through to people by understanding them. See, now that’s some real optimism.

**For a self-proclaimed pessimistic cake decorator, Adrian sure has some strong views on optimism and hope. Hope in general is very ‘in’ lately, considering the state of the world. He actually seems to have a passion for it though, if that outburst was anything to go by.**

**I think I understand Adrian a little better now.**

**After conversing with Adrian I found myself wandering back to my room. A few hours had passed, despite all indications otherwise, but there was still plenty of time in the day.**

**Should I spend some time by myself?**

**Yes** / No

**There was still nothing to do in this building, and I didn’t feel like talking to anyone else. I figured I might as well take a nap, since the broadcast had reached a rather quiet point.**

**I laid my head on my pillow and closed my eyes.**

Autumn: Soooooooooo. Boooooooooooored.

**I yanked my head off my pillow and opened my eyes. Which idiot decided that we should all be living together in a building that primarily consists of hallways and empty rooms? I made a mental note to remind myself to find that guy and smack him, then made a physical note of the exact same thing.**

**I stuffed my notepad back into wherever it is I keep that thing when I’m not looking at it. In my vest pocket, maybe? Does my vest even have pockets?**

**A quick examination proved that it did not, nor did my shirt. Where am I putting this thing? Eh, who cares. I’m already bored of trying to solve this absurd question.**

**I literally hopped out of my bed and yanked open my door with as much force as I could muster. Sadly, there was nobody there I could talk to. A quick glance around the hallway proved that nobody was in the general area at all.**

**I wonder how we manage to be so hard to find when there are more people then there are rooms?**

**I decided to take the path of least resistance, which was usually also the path of the most fun, and walked straight across the hallway through a door I knew would be unlocked.**

**Ray was asleep again. The guy already slept in today, does he really need even more sleep?**

**Should I spend some time with Ray?**

Yes / **Hell Yes**

Autumn: Hey. Hey. Hey! Hey! Wake up!

Ray: [hand on head with exasperated look] Autumn? Did you break into my room again?

Autumn: Nope! You left it unlocked again, so it was all entering and no breaking!

Ray: [hand on head with exasperated look] Great. I think I’ll be locking that from now on.

Autumn: Then you’ll be giving poor little Phoebe extra work.

Ray: [taps forehead with finger] Or, and this may sound a bit out there, you could just let me sleep in peace.

Autumn: Just call me the Ultimate Alarm Clock!

Ray: [awkwardly smiles, sweating] ……

**And there’s the awkward pause for internal sarcasm. Does he think I can’t tell?**

Ray: [hands in pockets] So, anyway, why’d you barge in here all of a sudden?

Autumn: ‘Cause I’m bored and wanna talk.

Ray: [awkwardly smiles, sweating] And you had to break into my room to do that?

Autumn: We just went over this, I didn’t break in.

Ray: [folds arms with right hand splayed] As fun as it sounds, I don’t feel like arguing about semantics.

**You do know our talents are both pretty much entirely semantics, right?**

Autumn: Well, let’s talk then!

Ray: [hands in pockets] Sure, I guess. Tell me about yourself.

Autumn: Oh no, not this time! I want _you_ to tell me about _yourself_.

Ray: [recoils in shock] Huh? Why do you want to talk about me?

Autumn: Because it’s your Free Time event, not mine.

Ray: [awkwardly smiles, sweating] ……

**Aaand because it’s your Free Time event, they can’t hear your internal monologue. So please stop trying.**

Ray: [folds arms with right hand splayed] So, uh… What do you want to know about me?

**Huh. I hadn’t thought that far ahead, actually.**

Autumn: Uh… How about your family? Mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, girlfriend, boyfriend, any combination of the above?

Ray: [bewildered expression] Combination? How would…? [recoils in shock] Augh, no! What’s wrong with you?

Autumn: Mild ADHD, mainly.

Ray: [awkwardly smiles, sweating] …… Anyway. [hands in pockets] You want to know about my family? [looks down, eyelids drooping] So do I, honestly. I lost track of most of them a few months after The Tragedy.

Autumn: Aw, man. That’s not a fun story at all, that’s just sad.

**Hold up. There was some precise word choice there.**

Autumn: You just said ‘most of them’. Does that mean you still know about some of them, or am I just being picky about words?

Ray: [folds arms with right hand splayed] No, you’re right. I’ve managed to get back in contact with some cousins of mine that lived nearby, and my grandparents lived in a neighborhood of old people that were basically immune to the despair epidemic. It’s where I was before I came here, actually. [looks down, eyelids drooping] I don’t know about my parents, though.

Autumn: No brothers or sisters, then?

Ray: [stern expression] …… [hands in pockets] No.

Autumn: Huh?

**He’s lying. I know he’s lying. But I think he _wants_ me to know. That’s a weird thing to do.**

Autumn: Pardon me for assuming you don’t know how many siblings you have, but are you sure about that?

Ray: [hands in pockets] No, I’m not. [hand on head with exasperated look] Look, can we not talk about this right now?

Autumn: Sure, no skin off my bones. That was a multi-part question, though, and there’s still one more part.

Ray: [bewildered expression] Was there?

Autumn: Ayup! I asked if you had a girlfriend and/or a boyfriend waiting for you!

Ray: [awkwardly smiles, sweating] …Seriously? [hands in pockets] I must be a better actor than I thought if you think someone could stand me long enough for that.

**That was both strangely transparent and unhelpfully cryptic. Are you actually trying to make me curious?**

Autumn: What do you mean? So far you’ve just been friendly and a bit snarky. That’s not that weird, as far as personalities go.

Ray: [hand on head with exasperated look] Right, okay, I’m done talking. I’m still crabby from being woken up, and now I am also hungry. If you want to talk more, do it later.

Autumn: Aww, and you were just getting interesting, too.

Ray: [hand on head with exasperated look] I don’t care, get out of my room.

Autumn: Fiiine.

**I skipped over to the door and loudly yanked it open, much to Ray’s chagrin. I made sure to slam it just as loudly behind me as I left. He’d been right about one thing; it was time to get some dinner. I’ll try to pick his brain later. Maybe John can help with that, given his talent of getting people to share information. I should ask him later. Ah well, food now, plotting later.**

**I think I understand slightly _less_ about Ray than I did before. Man, what a crap Free Time event that was.**

**FREE TIME END**

**Fucking hell, that girl needs to be less happy sometimes. I just slept for several hours and I already feel exhausted again. I could just head back to sleep, but my stomach doesn’t feel like it’s going to let me.**

**I went to the cafeteria and grabbed some dinner. It had gotten pretty late, so there were only a few people there. I didn’t feel like talking anymore, so I ate my food in silence and went back to bed.**

**I was just about to fall asleep when a noise came from the monitors.**

*Ding dong, bing bong*

 

**The monitors changed from showing the broadcast to a scene of Monokuma sitting on a director’s chair with a megaphone held in one paw.**

Monokuma: Is- is this thing on? Oh! Uh… Hold on a sec… Ahem!

Monokuma: Aaand, CUT! It is now 10 pm! Filming is done for today, but don’t worry, I’m always keeping an eye on you! All actors are advised to return to their dressing rooms and rehearse for tomorrow’s performance. But do make sure you get some beauty sleep! Remember, you’re all stars here!

 

**That’s what I was _trying_ to do before this stupid thing woke me back up.**

**Plus, didn’t he say he was acting as our producer, not director? Christ, can this thing do anything right?**

Monokuma: We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

 

**Monokuma disappeared from the screen and the broadcast came back on. It seems he decided to reuse the morning and nighttime announcement idea from the killing game. It makes it easier to keep a schedule, at least.**

**I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, again. Then someone on the monitor spoke, and I jumped out of the bed, startled.**

**That thing was a lot quieter a few seconds ago. It wasn’t even this loud in the hallway, and it was turned up out there. Dammit, did he make it even louder in my room just to fuck with me?**

**I got up and opened the door to see if it was just me. Apparently it wasn’t, because right across the hall from me was Autumn, doing the same thing. Veronica and John popped into my peripheral vison, too.**

Autumn: [exaggerated sigh] I don’t suppose you know what’s going on with the sound?

Ray: Not a clue, but it’s annoying as hell.

John: [mildly frowns] So it’s not just me?

Veronica: [disappointed frown] Nah, looks like everyone’s got problems.

**A survey of the hallway proved that Veronica was right, everyone had either been woken up or just annoyed out of their rooms by the sudden increase in volume.**

Phoebe: [raises hand] Oh, hey! Guys! It’s no so loud over here in the cafeteria!

**We didn’t need much more incentive than that, so we all shuffled into the cafeteria. Those double doors were apparently well soundproofed, because the noise was completely cut off as soon as we were inside.**

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] Well we’re all here, now what?

Monokuma: [appears] [neutral expression] Now it’s time for a special midnight screening!

John: [holds out hand] It’s only 10 pm.

Monokuma: [satisfied look] Don’t sweat the small stuff! [turns to show black side, raises paw] It’s just about to get to the best part!

**Best part? I tried to recall where the broadcast currently was. A few days had passed on the screen, since a bunch of stuff had been edited out. I think it’s on the third day? I haven’t been paying that much attention to it.**

**The Hope’s Peak students were all gathered in the A/V Room, pulling something out of a cardboard box. This was their first motive, right? The broadcast hadn’t bothered to show any of the footage on their discs until after the first murder, and it didn’t seem to be changing that here.**

**One of the girls, the one with the inexplicable blue hair, panicked and ran out of the room, with the tiny hope kid following her.**

**Shit, I remember this. These are the events that led to her botching a murder and getting killed for it. It’s the first move that led to the spiral of deaths.**

Monokuma: [giggles to himself] Man, did you see that look on her face? You could just tell from the moment she saw that video that she was gonna try to kill someone!

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] It was a panicked overreaction on her part. She thought everything she had was going to be taken away if she didn’t do something, so she acted.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] And that’s why you’re all here right now! [turns to show white side, acting bashful] You’re supposed to be learning from this, remember!

Monokuma: [neutral expression] It’s time for your first motive!

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] I thought the broadcast _was_ our first motive? You ended the Prologue for it and everything.

Monokuma: [bares claw angrily] Lies! Slander! I said no such thing! [miffed expression] You all just assumed that’s what it was.

Madeline: [wipes her brow gracefully] Get to the point. I would like to get to sleep soon.

Ryan: [agitated expression] Fucking seriously. This day needs to end already.

**I couldn’t agree more.**

Monokuma: [lunges forward, angry] Fine! Shut yer yaps! Quit your internal monologues! I’ll announce your motive!

**Why does everyone feel the need to pick on my narration?**

Monokuma: [bared claw angrily] Knock it off!

**What? How did-**

Monokuma: [lunges forward, angry] I said CAN IT!

Monokuma: [neutral expression] I’ve been going over this clip in my personal chambers, trying to find some inspiration for making you kids get the ball rolling. [inquisitive expression] But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t think of anything better than what the glorious and brilliant Junko Enoshima already did.

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] So I figured, why try to fix what isn’t broken? [neutral expression] I’ll admit that my knowledge of you kids is… not very thorough, let’s say. Lack of research is another of my personal failings as Monokuma. [turns to show white side, acting bashful] I can only promise to change in the future.

April: [leans on tube] [glares] …You say you’re going to get to the point and you start monologuing. I cannot hate you more.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] But for all of today, I was doing my homework. I managed to find at least one thing, for all of you, that is the most important thing you have left. And for some of you, it’s the only thing you have. [turns to show black side, raises paw] And now, I’m going to destroy it.

**…Destroy the most important thing I have left?**

**……**

**I could live with that.**

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] You may be asking yourself ‘But, Mister Great and Powerful Monokuma, if you’ve destroyed it, then how is that a motive? It’s already gone!’ [belly laugh] That’s a good question, hypothetical listener! If you really existed, you’d get a gold star!

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] I’m not an unkind bear! I haven’t destroyed it just yet. [bares claw angrily] But if I don’t see some murder happening in the next 24… no, 48 hours, gotta give you at least a little prep time, then that most important thing is gonna go bye-bye!

Emily: [holds up hand] I wanna be threatened by that, I really do, but could you be vaguer with that threat? I can think of a few different important things I have, and I wouldn’t be willin’ to kill for any of them.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Really? Not even Amanda?

Emily: [neutral expression] …No.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Are you sure? You could be lying. An astronaut has to be able to keep calm under pressure, so I might not be able to tell.

Emily: [neutral expression] I’m not lying.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] I could test it, if you’d like? Amanda is the easiest target. I could have her killed right now.

**There was a whooshing sound, and Monokuma was suddenly holding something.**

Monokuma: [holding an arrow in front of his face] You’re real lucky I caught this, or that might have ended badly for you.

Will: [poses with arrow drawn] Don’t think I won’t do it again. I’m not going to let you threaten her like that!

Monokuma: [holding an arrow in front of his face] Easy there, Robin Hood. You don’t wanna get yourself executed over something like that, do ya?

Will: [grips cap] [calm expression] Go ahead. I’ll happily die for somebody else’s sake.

**Monokuma tried to let go of the arrow, but it remained in place. He gave it a sharp tug, and his right eye came off along with it.**

Monokuma: [missing one eye] [neutral expression] Yeesh, that’s pathetic. At least have the courtesy to get murdered!

**Monokuma pulled his eye off the arrowhead and popped it back into place.**

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] You’re extra lucky that I’m in such a good mood today, because I haven’t actually added the rules yet! [turns to show black side, raises paw] Though that changes right now!

**A ding came from everyone’s pockets, presumably signifying an update to the eHandbook’s Regulations tab. I checked my own to confirm, and found rules dictating what would happen in the event of a murder, as well as one unrelated one about not harming our ‘producer’.**

**He did that in barely a second. If it works like that now, why didn’t he do it earlier? This sudden competence is unnerving. Though that’s probably the point.**

Will: [shocked expression] O-oh! So I’m fine then. [wipes his brow] That’s a relief.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] You actually shot at him thinking you’d die for it? Jeez, you’re dumber than I thought.

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] Oh, would you leave the boy alone, darling? That was a brave, if ill-advised, thing to do.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Hey, it’s not my problem if he’s suicidally stupid.

Monokuma: [satisfied look] Speaking of suicidal stupidity! Why don’t you take a look at the screen again? [giggles to himself] Because we’re about to get to another great part!

**What could possibly be happening on screen that makes ‘suicidal stupidity’ a workable transition?**

**On the monitor the blue haired girl was attempting to overpower an athlete that had every conceivable advantage on her in a fight. In almost no time at all her wrist was broken and she was fleeing into the bathroom. Less than a minute after that, she was bleeding to death courtesy of the knife in her chest.**

**When you look at it like that, the transition makes some amount of sense. Though there were certainly more tasteful ways to point that out.**

**Right after that thought my brain registered that I was watching someone die on camera, and I felt the appropriate amount of disgust and horror.**

Ray: Fuck!

Caleb: [tips hat down] I didn’t need to see that again.

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] Didn’t you, though? [satisfied look] Because that should serve as a nice example of what’s happening to you, right now! [neutral expression] Her motive for such a sloppy murder was no different than yours!

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] But she thought she had something to go back to. We know what the world’s like.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Isn’t that all the more reason to fight for what little you have left? After all, if nobody’s dead in 48 hours, then the people and things you still care about will go kaput!

Ray: That’s still assuming what we have left is important enough to kill for.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Hey, just because you don’t care about anything doesn’t mean the others won’t. [inquisitive expression] Isn’t that right, kiddos?

**I looked around at everyone, trying to read the room. Most people wouldn’t make eye contact with me, and several were looking around suspiciously.**

**…This is getting to us, isn’t it? Some of us here are actually thinking about…**

**No. That won’t happen. We’ve seen this- we are seeing it. We know better than to fall for this bear’s plots.**

**…Right?**

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] Well kids, it’s time for my beauty sleep! The sound is turned back down in your rooms, so you can go back to sleep if the sounds of the trial don’t keep you up! Toodles! [leaves]

**I didn’t feel like staying in the cafeteria, so I went back to my room without a word. A few others left, but quite a few people apparently decided to stay up and watch the killing game.**

**When I got back to my room I tried to close my eyes and sleep, but the occasional shout from the monitors kept jarring me back to alertness. Despite myself, I sat up and watched the entirety of the first trial.**

**Even knowing what happened, it was oddly engaging to watch the heated debate as hope kid gradually proved himself innocent and the baseball player guilty. It might even be helpful to watch it, just in case…**

**Fuck, I thought I was more optimistic than that.**

**It would be naïve to say it can’t happen, wouldn’t it? I don’t know that much about everyone here, I don’t know what they could have to lose to this motive. Maybe none of us have it in us to kill. Maybe all of us do. I have no way to tell.**

**I do know one thing for certain. Monokuma’s motive drew up fear and paranoia in all of us. I might’ve almost trusted some of these people a few hours ago, but now I can’t trust any of them.**

**I managed to force myself to sleep before the feeling of despair set in. Just like Monokuma wanted.**

** Monokuma Theater **

Monokuma: ……

Monokuma: Huh? What the heck is this thing?

Monokuma: Am I supposed to do something here? …What?

Monokuma: I’m just supposed to… talk? About what? Who am I talking to?

Monokuma: What’s the point of something like this?

Monokuma: Well… uh…

Monokuma: If I’m just supposed to talk, then… Does what I’m doing right now work?

Monokuma: Of course I’m not prepared; this wasn’t in the script!

Monokuma: You can’t just throw me up on stage and expect me to be entertaining!

Monokuma: I’m no dancing bear anymore, I’m a big star!

Monokuma: And as a star, I demand some respect!

Monokuma: You better have some real material for me next time, or I quit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, all that exposition was what took several weeks to write. Those Free Time events and the ending were both written yesterday. I have no idea why that is.
> 
> Things got pretty serious at the end there, wouldn't you say? It's literally been one day in-story and already there's a hard-set time limit on the first murder.
> 
> The next Free Times go to Autumn and Maria, with possibly a sprinkle of Veronica if I feel up to the job. It's the first chapter, so I'll probably lean towards more Free Time instead of less, even when it doesn't necessarily make sense.
> 
> Do feel free to keep voting for who stars in the next Free Time, and if you think you have some decent speculation on victims or culprits this early on I'd frankly love to hear it. I like knowing what impression I'm giving my readers, it helps me work out what I might need to change.


	5. Chapter 1: Monokuma Theater Presents - Studio Life of Mutual Killing: The Movie: The Game: Daily Life, Part 2

*Ding dong, bing bong*

 

Monokuma: Aaand, ACTION! It is now 7 am! Filming has begun for the day! Time to get your lazy butts out of bed and back to the action! We’ve got a lot of scenes to get done today, so hop to it! Remember, you’re all stars here!

 

**Oh God, is that going to be my wake-up call every morning while I’m here? I can’t imagine a worse fate.**

**As soon as Monokuma was gone from the screen the killing game came back on. I was surprised to see it pick up immediately after the trial. It must have turned off right after it ended. I suppose we can’t murder each other if we’re all staying up late watching TV.**

**Whatever. The broadcast isn’t important right now, breakfast is.**

**The cafeteria was pretty much empty when I got there. All of the tables were empty, save for Maria sitting at one of the smaller ones. I took a seat across the table from her.**

Maria: [flails arms wildly] [panicked expression] DAH- CHRIST! Ray!

Ray: Hello to you too, Maria.

Maria: [hands over heart] [panicked breathing] Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to jump at you like that! You’re not really that scary. [sheepish expression] It’s just, you know, the motive…

Ray: Yeah, no, I get it. It’s… not exactly doing my nerves any favors, either.

**Mind you, I’m not so much worried about what Monokuma threatened to do as I am about what one of _us_ could do because of it. Though, that probably goes without saying.**

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] I kind of figured that I’d be safer if I came out here early. [bites her lip] You know, if somebody wanted to, err, kill me, for whatever reason, they wouldn’t be likely to do it at the time everyone is going to be filing in the room to get food.

Ray: You’d get caught right away if you tried, so you wouldn’t try.

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] Right. Anyone who did try would be either very stupid, which I don’t think any of us are, or have some reason to want me dead personally, which I’m actively trying to avoid. [laughs slightly] Not that that keeps me from jumping at every little thing, but still.

Ray: But you being jumpy makes sense. You can’t fault someone for acting with their talent in mind.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] Is that why you, in a nearly empty room, walked over to the one occupant to talk? [slight smile] Because you like the sound of your own voice, Mr. Ultimate Narrator?

**Yes.**

Ray: No! I just… thought you looked lonely.

Maria: [slight smile] I got here about ten minutes before the announcement. I don’t get lonely that fast.

**The sound of the doors opening caused Maria to jump slightly, as Jacob, Madeline, Phoebe and Brittany entered the room.**

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] Ah, good morning Sir Glenshaw and Lady Corsano. I see you have managed to arrive on time today.

**I was late once. You don’t need to comment on it like it’s a pattern.**

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] Good morning, darlings!

Brittany: [double thumbs-up] It’s always good to see another early riser!

Phoebe: [friendly wave] Hey everyone! Or, well, not everyone, more like just a few people. There’s actually not that many of us here. So, uh, hey few-people-that-are-here-this-early! Good morning!

**You had to go the distance for that greeting, didn’t you?**

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] After the events of the previous night, I would imagine that we are in poor spirits. Would anyone object to my volunteering to make us breakfast to try and improve the mood?

Phoebe: [raises hand] Ah, yes please! [twiddles thumbs] I never did get one of those omelets you offered yesterday morning.

Jacob: [neutral, yet apologetic expression] [bows slightly] Apologies, Lady Williams. Monokuma’s interference derailed my omelet making attempts. [neutral, yet proud expression] However, I will not let that sway my efforts. I shall make the finest omelet this building has ever seen.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Why are we talking about omelets?

Ryan: [annoyed expression] Because it’s fucking breakfast, and omelets are a fucking breakfast food. Why are we always so confused by the concept of breakfast?

John: [shrugs] No idea.

**Along with Adrian, Ryan and John, I saw Emily slip into the room. She took a seat at one of the empty small tables without saying a word of greeting.**

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] And now the crowd’s coming in, so the cast balancing begins again.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] I know, isn’t it great?! Don’t you just love people?

**When did you get here?**

Maria: [looks off to the side] Not this many at once, no.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Well aren’t you a killjoy?

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Sorry, but, you are a bit gloomy sometimes.

**When did _you_ get here?**

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] I don’t recall asking for your input, tiny.

Will: [hugs his bow] [whimpers sadly] ……

Eric: [Caleb’s voice] [tries to tip hat down, but just stretches the fabric] You’re hardly one to comment on whether or not someone is vertically challenged, sweetheart.

**She is acting like a real dick to the guy over an inch of height difference. I wonder what her problem is?**

**Also, _when did you get here_?**

**I heard the door open this time as the last three entered.**

April: [leans on tube] [neutral expression] Sorry I’m late.

Veronica: [stares at flame] ……

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Howdy, folks. My apologies for bein’ late, this getup takes some time to get on.

**Late? It’s 7:15, and we didn’t establish any sort of meeting time. There is literally nothing for you to be late for. Your apologies are so unnecessary that I feel you should apologize for them.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] Everybody’s here now? Good! That means we can get started!

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] I just got here, can this wait until I get some damn breakfast?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at April] Go ahead! You can still participate from the kitchen.

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] Actually, Lady Collins, if you are willing to wait a few more minutes I am prepared to craft a delightful breakfast for all of us. I trust everyone finds eggs acceptable?

**Nobody objected, though there were a few murmurs of agreement.**

Phoebe: [raises hand] Ah! Can I get some cheese in mine, please?

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] [bows slightly] Anything for you, Lady Williams.

Phoebe: [slightly pink] Oh- ah- uh… Thank you, Jacob!

Brittany: [hands on hips] With that sorted out, we can actually begin a group discussion.

Will: [nervous expression] Is this going to be about that motive?

**This is going to be about the motive, isn’t it?**

**…Shit, I just did the joke backwards. Sorry Will.**

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Will] Yes, actually! Nice guess! [hands on hips] Monokuma ended yesterday by making some serious threats, and I wanted to offer an opportunity to talk about it. [tilts head quizzically] Is that alright with everyone?

Autumn: [wide smile with arms spread] I think that’s a great idea! It’ll give us a chance to get our problems off our chests, and get to know each other better!

Eric: [rubs chin] I’ve heard worse ideas. [waves dismissively] I’ve _had_ worse ideas. Continue.

Adrian: [shrugs] Sure, what the fuck ever. Not like it can make the situation worse.

Veronica: [stares at flame] You want us to, like, share what our most important thing is or something?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Would that be alright with everyone? You don’t have to share if it’s too personal.

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] Does it count as impersonal if we don’t know what he means? [taps head with frosting bag] I mean, fuck, I didn’t have anything to leave behind. Why do you think I’m here?

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] Seriously. How vague can a threat get? [bites cheek in contemplation] I’m honestly curious what he thinks my most important thing is, because I can’t think of anything.

**I have to agree with you two, I don’t know what he found on me. Everything that was important to me fell apart along with the rest of the world.**

Madeline: [hands over heart] [frowns] Oh, you poor dears! I can sympathize, to be honest. Very little of what I had built remains in this; how do you say? Festering post-apocalyptic hellhole?

Ray: That’s overselling it, I’d say. It’s not completely unlivable.

Madeline: [wipes brow gracefully] Well it is hardly _safe_ to live in this world, most of the time.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] I made sure the people and things I care about were safe from the world. [looks off to the side] I don’t know what he found against me, but he shouldn’t be able to get to them. Not without a lot of effort, anyway.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] ‘People and things’? Why so nonspecific?

Maria: [bites her lip] I think he was being deliberately vague. He wanted us to fill in the gaps with whatever we would be willing to kill for.

Veronica: [puts out match] [concerned frown] You think he might not actually, like, have anything on us?

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] At the very least, he wants us to think he has more than he actually does.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] You reckon he’s tryin’ a sort of half-bluff? [rubs chin] Then what about what he said last night? You know, to Emily.

**If I recall, he made a pretty specific threat.**

 

[[flashback]]

Emily: [holds up hand] I wanna be threatened by that, I really do, but could you be vaguer with that threat? I can think of a few different important things I have, and I wouldn’t be willin’ to kill for any of them.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Really? Not even Amanda?

Emily: [neutral expression] …No.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] Are you sure? You could be lying. An astronaut has to be able to keep calm under pressure, so I might not be able to tell.

Emily: [neutral expression] I’m not lying.

Monokuma: [inquisitive expression] I could test it, if you’d like? Amanda is the easiest target. I could have her killed right now.

[[end flashback]]

 

**I think I’ll refrain from snarking at a flashback of someone’s life being threatened. I have standards.**

Caleb: [tips hat down] Do you reckon he was lyin’ about being able to kill her?

Maria: [looks off to the side] …I’d hope so.

**I wonder who he meant when he said ‘Amanda’?**

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Um, that reminds me. I wanted to ask before, but who’s Amanda?

**There we go, now that joke is back on track.**

Emily: [helmet up] ……

Brittany: [hands on hips] It’s alright if you don’t feel like talking about it. [double thumbs-up] Just say the word and I’ll have the discussion move on ahead!

Emily: [folds arms] …My sister. That’s my sister’s name.

**There’s a lot less inflection in her voice than there normally is. Thinking about it, her voice was like that after Monokuma threatened her, too. Is she trying to suppress the emotion in her voice?**

Emily: [folds arms] Older sister, to be specific. By a lot, actually. Fifteen years or so. Managed to make it this far through the apocalypse, only to have that threatened by a fuckin’ cartoon bear.

**I don’t think I’ve heard her swear before. Given most of us have pretty bad potty-mouths, it’s noticeable.**

Will: [grips cap] [panicked expression] He’s threatening your family?! I’m so sorry! That’s not something he should be able to do.

Emily: [folds arms] She’ll be fine. She’s tough, this won’t get to her.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] He already said she was the easiest target; I don’t think being tough will help her much.

Emily: [helmet up] ……

Ryan: [concerned expression] Jesus shit, Autumn, that was not fucking helpful.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Sorry, I just didn’t want her to get her hopes up.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Right, because when you’re being threatened by a bear with a despair fetish the last thing you want is _hope_.

Emily: [folds arms] …Not hungry.

**Emily got out of her chair and quietly left the cafeteria.**

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] What’s her problem?

Ray: …Seriously?

Madeline: [hand in front of mouth] [shocked expression] I knew that you lacked a certain amount of tact, darling, but I cannot say I expected that from you.

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] She’s already worried about her sister and you just had to go and make it worse!

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Huh? I wasn’t trying to do that! Honest! [pouts, looking downwards] I’m sorry, guys, I really am!

**…Something about that about-face feels forced to me.**

Autumn: [pouts, looking forward] You believe that I’m really sorry, right Ray?

Ray: Huh?

**Why is she targeting me? What the hell?**

Ray: Uh, yeah, of course I do.

**It’s not like a lack of discretion is out of character for her. Still, this is going to bother me for a while.**

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Awesome! Then let’s get on with this meeting, alright?

Phoebe: [adjusts glasses] Um, sorry, but can we not, please? Emily getting upset and leaving means she’d be left out of a continued talk and that’s really not that fair to just leave her out because Autumn decided to be insensitive- [bright pink] Uh, no offence, I think?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Offence taken, then, I think.

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Phoebe] That’s a good point, Phoebe! Leaving her out of the discussion would be rude. [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Is everyone okay with picking this back up at dinner?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] You’ll get no objections from me.

Eric: [Caleb’s voice] [tips hat out of face, with hat sagging] You’ll get no objections from me, _partner_.

Caleb: [tips hat down] [stern expression] Do not try to out cowboy me, son. You _will_ lose.

Eric: [smug smile] Ha-ha! I am always up for a challenge! [waves dismissively] Though, fortunately for you, my quota of impression-based challenges is currently full. Next time, you will not be so lucky.

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] The meeting is cut short and we instantly revert to the inane banter we developed yesterday. [rolls eyes] How delightful.

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] It’s not like we have a lot else to do. [frowns slightly] I was desperately trying to find a way to kill time after I finished my building plan yesterday. This place is boring as all hell.

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] If you are so pressed to find ways to spend time then I would be happy to compare notes.

April: [leans on tube] [confused expression] Compare notes? Notes on what?

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] Why design notes, of course! I have always had an interest in forms of design other than fashion; it is an exercise in creativity to try and incorporate elements from beyond your specialty into your work. I feel we would both benefit from a sort of comparative collaboration, to arbitrarily invent a term.

April: [leans on tube] [neutral expression] So you’re planning to alleviate boredom by doing work?

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] Yes, in a sense. But I was also hoping to make a friend. Is that alright?

April: [hair falls over eyes] [surprised expression] Huh? A f-friend? [hugs tube] [looks around uncomfortably] Uh, sure. Y-yeah. Friends are good.

Madeline: [hands over heart] [pleasant smile] Delightful!

**As their conversation ended I realized that I had been so focused on listening to those two I hadn’t noticed several people leave the cafeteria. Maria was the only one who had been sitting at my table that was still in the room, with Autumn, Will and Eric having left at some point.**

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] You know, for a guy whose talent is talking you’re pretty quiet when the group’s all together.

Ray: I just take too long to work my thoughts into words. By the time I can form a coherent sentence, someone else has beaten me to the punch.

Maria: [laughs slightly] Ha! Yeah, I know how that feels. That’s me, all the time.

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] I do hope everyone is hungry, because these omelets are- [neutral, yet surprised expression] Oh! We seem to be missing a few members once again.

**Jacob was holding a tray with sixteen of those plate covers that probably have a name I don’t know, presumably with omelets under each of them. He passed them around to the few people remaining in the cafeteria. After taking a bite I felt immediate and intense pity for everyone who had decided to skip out on breakfast.**

**After I finished eating I checked the time. An hour or so had passed since I entered the room, and everyone had either finished breakfast or chosen to deprive themselves of the Ultimate Butler’s cooking.**

**On the monitors I noticed the tiny hope kid was spending his free time talking to his fellow participants, so I figured I might as well do the same.**

**FREE TIME START!**

**Again, I went through my mental list of people I could talk to, but ultimately decided against sticking to the same few. I had plenty of energy thanks to Jacob’s cooking, so I could exhaust myself socializing with the quirkier residents without actually needing a break.**

**And speaking of quirky residents, I managed to absently wander my way into the storerooms, where Autumn was filling a box with what looked to be one of every snack food in existence.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Heya Ray, how’s it going? You wanna help me get all this back to my room and have a snack binge?

 

**Should I spend some time with Autumn?**

**Yes** / No

 

Autumn: [wide smile with arms spread] Awesome! Let’s see who can eat themselves into a snack coma first!

**I barely touched any of the food, since I’d just eaten breakfast, though I did drink more soda then I had collectively drunk in my entire lifetime. With all that sugar in my stomach I felt like I was going to die, and I briefly wondered if I should leave some kind of note indicating it was Autumn’s fault, just in case Monokuma counted my death by sugar as a murder.**

**Autumn, for her part, seemed unfazed by the inhuman amount of chips she had consumed, and energetically engaged in conversation I felt too bloated to pay any proper attention to.**

**I don’t know if we got closer from the experience, but Autumn sure acted like we had.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] So, go ahead, ask away!

Ray: Huh? Ask what?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] You know what I mean. [wide smile with arms spread] Ask me about myself. Past, hobbies, my talent, anything! It’s a Free Time Event, that’s what they’re for!

Ray: You keep mentioning that, but I don’t know what you mean by it. We’re just talking, aren’t we?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Are you being difficult on purpose? You know damn well what I mean.

**I do, honestly. But unlike you, I’m not actually capable of acknowledging it outside of the narration.**

Ray: I mean; I can ask about you if you really want me to.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] That’s the whole point!

Ray: Right. So, uh… How’d you become a comedienne?

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] I was always the class clown through elementary school, and people would say ‘You’re funny, you should be a comedienne when you grow up!’ So I just sorta did. [folds arms with friendly smile] And apparently, I was funny enough that they tracked me down after The Tragedy and said I was the funniest person in America.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Well, it’s either that or everyone who was funnier than me died when the world ended. One of the two.

**Was that a joke? I honestly can’t tell. Since I’m not laughing, and she’s the Ultimate Comedienne, I’m going to assume it was serious.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] That’s all there is to that. What’s next?

Ray: Next? We’re just moving on already?

Autumn: [exaggerated sigh] Man, you’re just not getting the hang of this, are you?

Ray: Getting the hang of what? You’re the one rushing through the conversation.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] That’s because that topic’s over and done with! It’s boring now, anything else I could say would just be padding the word count.

Ray: How do you do that? Out loud, I mean.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Break the fourth wall so casually, you mean? [folds arms with friendly smile] It’s not that complicated! Breaking the fourth wall is funny, and I’m the Ultimate Comedienne. Since my talent is comedy itself, I can basically say whatever I want and get away with it, so long as someone finds it funny! [shit-eating grin] Even if that someone is just me!

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] It’s basically the same principle that Monokuma works under. Since he’s a ridiculous cartoon character in a world that, in theory, works under the same rules as the real one, he can say or do anything and have it be perfectly plausible for his character. [shit-eating grin] In a way, it’s his Ultimate talent!

Ray: What- seriously? You can just do whatever you want, as long as it’s funny to someone?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Well, yeah. That’s kind of how talent works in here, haven’t you noticed? The characters in this world act and develop in ways that align with their talents.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] I mean, think about it: Who’s the one with the least presence in group scenes? John, the Nondescript. Who’s the one that thinks the least of himself? Adrian, the guy with the worthless talent. Who’s the protagonist that constantly narrates the events to himself in a vaguely sarcastic manner? You, Mister Narrator!

**I’d ask how you even knew that last thing, but I’m willing to bet the answer would just be ‘because it’s funny’.**

Ray: But, hold on, that doesn’t apply to all of us. What about, like, Phoebe and her rambling speech patterns? Or Ryan’s temper, or April’s dual personality… thing? Where in their talents do those traits come in?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Phoebe’s rambling is, I think, mainly my fault. Thanks to me dragging her along at the start, she was introduced before an idea for her personality solidified, so her characteristics couldn’t develop in a way that contradicted her initial character too much. [exaggerated shrug] In a way you could say that’s the fault of her talent, since it’s why I dragged her along and she was introduced so early.

Ray: That’s… certainly a roundabout way of connecting the two.

**I can’t say I expected that question to be answered with a meta-analysis of her characterization.**

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] Eh, whatever. Phoebe gives me the vibe of a filler character with a too-useful talent. I figure she’ll probably bite it early on.

Ray: I’d rather think that there won’t be any murders, let alone ‘early’ ones.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] So would I, honestly, but then we wouldn’t have a story.

**I hate that you’re right about that.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] As for Ryan and April, I think they’re kind of the exception? Their talents strike me as being generic and unimportant to their characters. I mean, Ryan’s got his hatred of the indoors, and April has her poster tube and hard hat, but other than that they seem to be pretty last minute ideas. Based on April’s random infatuation with him, I’d say they were actually designed as characters instead of talents, like the rest of us.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] That about answer your question?

Ray: I guess…?

Autumn: [wide smile with arms spread] Great, because we’re pretty much out of words here!

Ray: We are?

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Basically. I mean, Free Times can be as long or as short as they need to be, but this one’s been full of me talking about other people. [folds arms with frown] Speaking of, can we actually talk about me next time we have a Free Time event? It’s kinda what they’re for.

Ray: Sure, I guess, why not?

**You’re the one that changed the topic to our talents, but feel free to blame me for your actions.**

**I was expecting a chat with a comedienne to be full of jokes, but instead I got an analytical analysis of talent and the meta workings of this story. Funny, how that turned out. I guess you can’t predict some things. Maybe next time we talk something funny will happen, who knows?**

**I had no idea she was that analytically minded, though. She didn’t seem to be pulling that out of nowhere, so she must have been thinking about that all through yesterday and today. I just assumed she spent her time thinking of puns or something.**

**I think I understand Autumn a little better now.**

**FREE TIME END**

**After parting ways with Autumn I went across the hall to my room to regroup. Talking to her was exactly as exhausting as I assumed it would be; only the energy bestowed upon me by Jacob’s marvelous cooking kept me upright.**

**There’s still all kinds of time to spend today, maybe I should just keep socializing?**

*Ding dong*

 

**Huh? What was that? It was like somebody played half of the announcement tone, but nothing’s changing on the screen. It’s still just the broadcast.**

*Ding dong*

 

**Again? Actually, that sound isn’t coming from the monitors. It sounds like it’s coming from the door. Do we have doorbells?**

**I walked up to my door and opened it a crack. I was greeted by the sight of bright orange plastic.**

Emily: [helmet down] [uncertain expression] Hey, Ray. Can I come in?

**I suppressed the paranoid idea that she was trying to get me alone in my room to murder me and opened the door.**

Ray: Sure. I couldn’t tell you were at the door for a second there, since the doorbell makes the announcement sound. Also, we have doorbells?

Emily: [raps head with knuckles] Yeah. Right next to the door. You didn’t know?

Ray: The people who enter my room tend not to knock.

Emily: [toothy smile] Ah, right, Autumn.

Ray: Yeah, she tends to just… appear, instead of actually approaching you. But enough about her, what are you doing here?

Emily: [neutral expression] Needed to talk. You got the time?

Ray: There’s fuck-all to do in here besides talk. Shoot.

Emily: [uncertain expression] Have any siblings?

**I wish people wouldn’t ask me that question. It’s not a simple answer.**

Ray: Not really.

Emily: [wistful look] You’re missin’ out. Amanda is everythin’ I’ve aspired to be as a person. Pretty much the best sister I could’ve hoped for.

Ray: If she’s what you aspired to be, then is she also an astronaut?

Emily: [holds up hand] Nah, but damn did she want to be. Before you ask, she was qualified: perfect vision, an engineering degree from a good school, not too tall or short, but she couldn’t handle stress too well. Monokuma mentioned it before, ‘an astronaut has to be able to keep calm under pressure’. [uncertain expression] It’s vital that you don’t panic in space, because if somethin’ goes wrong it’ll go very wrong, and you’re the only one that can even try to fix it.

Emily: [raps head with knuckles] She couldn’t do it, but I could. The one thing I had over her, and I knew I could pull it off for both of us. [uncertain expression] Most I’ve ever accomplished so fast. Normally it requires an impossible amount of time, but The Tragedy helped speed things up quite a bit.

Ray: Hold on, the end of the world made it easier to become an astronaut?

Emily: [shrugs] Yeah. Turns out people get a lot less picky when they’re working with what little they can scrounge up.

Ray: And they scrounged up a space program?

Emily: [shrugs] Everythin’ they’d set up before was still there, so it wasn’t too hard. People cling to what they know, and in this case they were a bunch of rocket scientists with a whole bunch of rocket parts. Things came together pretty naturally at that point.

Emily: [wistful look] Amanda said that she’d never been so proud as when I went up to the launch. And when we took off, she might as well have been right there with me. Seein’ the world from up there, even knowin’ how everythin’ was down here, was the most amazin’ thing. It’s like the world’s problems just… didn’t exist.

Ray: That’s… an amazing story. I had no idea any of that was going on.

Emily: [purses lips in disgust] How could you? Enoshima had hijacked the whole world’s broadcastin’ for her game, and somethin’ like what we were doing would have been a massive beacon of hope. She’d never let that news get out.

Emily: [neutral expression] Her people went out of their way to remove the people that were involved in it. News still got out to whoever the folks that scouted us were about me havin’ gone into space, but the efforts of those people may as well have died with them. Amanda and I are the only ones left who were there.

**I tried to think of an appropriate response, but nothing came to mind. I settled for the question that had been nagging at me since she started.**

Ray: Why are you telling me all this?

Emily: [neutral expression] Because I wanted someone to understand the position I’m in.

Ray: Huh?

Emily: [neutral expression] If Monokuma goes through with his threat and kills Amanda, then I’ll be the only one left.

Emily: [tries to keep face neutral] [trembles in fear] And that’s completely fucking terrifying.

Ray: Uh…

**Shit shit shit! I have no idea what to do here! Comforting people is not something I understand in the slightest.**

Ray: Uh… It’ll be okay…?

**Fuck, that probably didn’t help.**

Emily: [tries to keep face neutral] It’s fine. I’m not here to ask for comfort, I can handle myself. Like I said, I just want someone to understand. Figured I could talk to you, since you’re one of the more grounded people here.

Ray: Uh, thanks. For the Ultimate Astronaut, you’re pretty down to earth yourself.

Emily: [toothy smile] Ha! Puns, nice! Tryin’ to take Autumn’s title?

Ray: Believe me, I’m not qualified.

Emily: [uncertain expression] You sayin’ she is?

Ray: That’s… a fair point, honestly.

**Emily walked over to the door and put her hand on the handle before turning back to me.**

Emily: [neutral expression] Thanks for listenin’. I needed to get that out there.

Ray: It’s no trouble. My talent may be talking, but I honestly prefer listening sometimes. I’m happy to help.

Emily: [toothy smile] I’ll keep that in mind.

**She walked out the door with a friendly wave goodbye.**

**That was certainly interesting. I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up, let alone to confide their troubles in me. Either I’m that approachable, or everyone else is that unapproachable. I’m not sure which is worse.**

**Either way, now that I’ve finished talking to someone I guess I should go… talk to someone, because what the fuck else is there to do in here?**

**I walked over to the door and stepped outside.**

**FREE TIME ST-**

???: Whoa, careful there!

**Someone caught me immediately before I walked into them, causing a jingling sound. A quick look told me it was Brittany.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] You should look out for where you’re walking, someone could get hurt that way!

Ray: Sorry about that, I’ll pay more attention in the future. Uh, what was that noise?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at her chest] That would be this!

**It took me a second to realize she was pointing at her little speaker, which had a key dangling from it.**

Ray: Is that your room key? And why is it attached to your speaker?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Haven’t you heard? It’s the latest fashion statement! [double thumbs-up] Having your key out where everyone can see it is both stylish and a sign of trust toward everyone else! You should try it!

Ray: Uh…

**A cursory glance at my apparel made it clear I had nowhere to display my key, even if I didn’t think it was a stupid idea.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] It’s okay! It’s not like it’s mandatory or anything! [holds out water bottle] But staying hydrated is!

Ray: Trust me, I know.

**I can still taste the off-brand grape soda Autumn had me drinking earlier.**

Brittany: [tries to swish water bottle, but it’s too full] Alright, as long as you’re making sure!

**Brittany walked off, leaving me slightly more confused than I had been moments ago, courtesy of that strangely pointless conversation.**

**Anyway, what was I doing? Oh yeah.**

**FREE TIME START!**

**I think I had someone in mind to talk to before I was interrupted, but I can’t seem to remember who it was now. I guess I’ll just talk to the first person I see.**

**I walked into the cafeteria, only half paying attention, and walked over to grab some late lunch. Maria was walking out of the kitchen area with some food of her own.**

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] Say what you will about his everything else, but Monokuma sure knows how to get his hands on a wide variety of foods for killing game participants.

 

**Should I spend some time with Maria?**

**Yes** / No

 

Maria: [slight smile] It’s always good to get to know the people you’re trying to survive with. You’re less likely to turn on each other that way.

**I sat down and had lunch with Maria, chatting about the foods we had available to us. Eventually she started going into detail on basic nutritional requirements, and how one could go about meeting them after the end of the world. I made sure to make a mental note of the more helpful things she said for after we managed to get out of our present situation.**

**I feel like we grew closer.**

Maria: [looks off to the side] As awful as this whole ‘killing game’ thing is; I can’t help but appreciate the small luxuries that come with it. [slight smile] Like milk.

Ray: Milk doesn’t preserve that well, does it?

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] It makes sense that it doesn’t, though. I mean, all milk is intended to be drunk straight out of a living thing. There’s no need for it to keep well in any environment except the one humans made for it. [tries to maintain eye contact] So when the world ended, and that environment disappeared, milk went from being a near ubiquitous product to one you treasure every chance you have.

Ray: That’s certainly more thought than I’ve ever given milk.

Maria: [laughs slightly] That would be one of the luxuries of not being me.

Ray: What do you mean?

Maria: [sheepish expression] That wasn’t too clear, was it? I meant that not putting a lot of thought into weird things, like milk, is one of the benefits of not being a paranoid wreck all the time.

Ray: I wouldn’t say you’re a paranoid wreck. I mean, sure, you’re pretty jumpy, but this situation is one where fear is appropriate. Plus, you weren’t being paranoid about the world ending soon.

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] You can say that now, but it’s not like I knew how the world was going to end, or when, or anything like that. It’s only hindsight that makes me look like I know what I’m doing. [bites her lip] Think about it, if we weren’t having this conversation after the actual end of the world, you’d think I was just some crackpot.

Ray: I’ll admit that, if the world were still fine, I probably would think that you were just being paranoid, but with a talent like yours context is really important.

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] But I’m still the same paranoid wreck as before, just with a bit of justification to go along with it. [looks off to the side] Justification, I might add, that makes me feel awful about myself, at all times.

Ray: You… you do know that the world ending wasn’t your fault, right? Just because you were prepared for it doesn’t make you responsible.

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] The self-loathing doesn’t stem from my actions; I just really hate the fact that I was right.

Ray: Again, that’s not really something you need to feel bad for.

Maria: [bites her lip] Try telling that to my brain. I don’t know if you’ve had any experience with self-loathing, but logic doesn’t really help with it.

**Trust me, I know.**

Ray: I know that it doesn’t go away just because it’s objectively wrong, but talking about the absurdity of it can make it feel less real. At least, that’s been my experience.

Maria: [bites her lip] I appreciate that you’re trying to help with that advice, but it doesn’t really translate that well for me. [looks off to the side] I mean; I was always preparing for some nebulous upcoming apocalypse. Everything I learned, everything I did, all of it was to prepare for that. It wasn’t just some hobby that I happened to be good at, it was literally all I centered my life around.

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] Of all the things to be paranoid about, I happened to pick the world ending. Something inherently catastrophic to not just me, but to literally everyone. And humans, we don’t have a great sense of perspective, so it says something that I wasn’t just prepared to react if it did happen, I was taking preventative measures. It wasn’t just something I thought _might_ happen, it was something I _expected_ to happen, without a doubt.

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] But that’s completely absurd. The world doesn’t just _end_ , suddenly. It was completely impossible in theory, and was supposed to be impossible in execution. And I _knew_ that. I knew it was supposed to be impossible, but it was still the only thing I cared about my whole life. I was preparing for something that couldn’t happen, and I knew it couldn’t happen, but I was always thinking to myself ‘What if it _could_ happen? What if, just maybe, it _did_ happen?’

Maria: [wraps arm around herself defensively] And isn’t that hope, at that point? Isn’t that my _hope_ that the entire goddamn _world_ would _end_?

Ray: Uh, wow…

**Fuck, she just confided in me the reason for her self-loathing and I respond with ‘Uh, wow’. Maybe I shouldn’t talk to people in my free time if I’m this bad at it?**

Maria: [sheepish expression] So you see my problem with trying to make my self-loathing feel less real? [looks off to the side] Since I’m paranoid I overthink things, so I end up going too deep into it, and instead of seeing how absurd it is, I just end up figuring out actual reasons for it, thus making it feel _more_ real, and the self-loathing makes me paranoid. I’m actually too paranoid to avoid feeling bad about my paranoia.

Ray: That… is the most obnoxious kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Maria: [slight smile] Like I said, there are luxuries to not being me.

**The conversation petered off from there, with neither of us being willing to bring up an old topic or start a new one. Eventually Maria excused herself and went to put her dishes away, since they’d been sitting there for a long time at this point.**

**Her talent made it obvious that she was paranoid, but I had no idea it could cause that kind of self-loathing feedback loop. She doesn’t give any signs of having that kind of issue normally, so she must be really good at disguising it. Or maybe self-loathing just doesn’t show that well? I’m hardly in a position to tell.**

**I think I understand Maria a little better now.**

**FREE TIME END**

**After cleaning up my dishes I glanced at the clock. Apparently the concept of time was fucking with me, because even though I’d just finished lunch it was already evening. People were starting to enter the room for dinner, and I recalled that we were supposed to pick up our meeting from breakfast around now.**

**I sat back down at the table where I’ve spent most of the day, but Maria had evidently decided to sit at the large table instead. A few people who apparently weren’t in the mood to sit with the group ended up joining me at the small table.**

Will: [nervous smile] Hey Ray. Sorry, do you mind if I sit here?

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] I’m not going to be apologizing for sitting here. I have been talking with Madeline all day and I need to get away from people. [frowns slightly] Having a friend is exhausting.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Eh, social interaction is overrated. I’ll take a table full of quiet people any day. [squeezes frosting bag] And speaking of quiet people, why the fuck are you two jingling?

April: [brandishes tube like a club] That would be this stupid thing.

**April shook her tube slightly, drawing our attention to the key she had taped to the upper half.**

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] Brittany came by earlier, and she and Madeline would not let up until I went with their inane new ‘fashion statement’ of putting your keys on something for whatever reason.

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Sorry if the noise is bothering you. I put mine on my bow, so it’s probably making a racket banging against the wood. I can move it, if that’ll help?

Adrian: [shakes his head] Nah, it’s fine. The noise isn’t bothering me, it’s just weird. [twists cap of frosting bag] Actually, you know what? I’m hip. I’m happening. Fuck it, why not?

**Adrian pulled his room key out and somehow attached it to the cap of his frosting bag.**

Adrian: [bored expression] Bag. Key. Bagkey. [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Now I too am making a really fucking stupid fashion statement. I can _feel_ myself becoming more stylish.

April: [leans on tube] [glares] For God’s sake, don’t encourage them! If we get too many more of these keys people will hear all the jingling and think Christmas is coming.

**I scanned the room to see if we were starting anytime soon. Just about everyone was present, with one exception.**

John: [mildly frowns] Where’s Emily?

Jacob: [neutral, yet curious expression] It would appear that Lady Yoder is running late. Shall I go and fetch her?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Maybe we should establish some kind of meeting time for meals? That way people wouldn’t be likely to be late.

Jacob: [neutral, yet proud expression] I have already crafted a daily plan, based partially around the morning and nighttime announcements.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Why am I not surprised by that?

April: [leans on tube] [confused expression] Because scheduling is something a butler would do?

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Thanks, I hadn’t thought of that. It’s not like that’s what I was implying, or anything.

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] Even without, like, a schedule, I’d kinda pegged Emily as someone who’d show up to dinner sooner rather than later.

Caleb: [tips hat down] You aren’t suggestin’ somethin’ bad happened, are you?

Veronica: [concerned frown] Nah, not with this much time left in that stupid motive. It’s more like, she’s probably still, like, upset about it, or something?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Should we postpone the meeting again until tomorrow? I’m no expert, but the time might help her process things?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] It’s not like Monokuma has actually done anything yet. Giving her time to think would just put her closer to the deadline and stress her out more.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [unsure smile] Oh shoot, I hadn’t thought about it that way.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Did anyone else notice that that advice on tact came from Autumn? Since when is she an expert on keeping people from being stressed?

Ray: That’s a good point. Just this morning she was making Emily feel worse, but now she apparently knows how to help?

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] …Maybe she just likes hurting people when they’re down.

**That’s a bit out there, as far as theories go. I’m more willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she’s just that tactless in conversation, but can judge human reaction from a distance. It seems like something a comedian would have to know, since they need to make large crowds laugh.**

**As interesting as that thought was, it was interrupted by the sound of the doors opening. It had been conveniently timed right as there was a lull in conversation, so everyone turned to stare.**

Emily: [helmet down] [confused stare] …What’s everyone lookin’ at me for?

John: [shrugs] You’re the last one here.

Emily: [uncertain expression] Oh. Sorry ‘bout that. Didn’t know you were waitin’ for me.

**Emily glanced at the large table, then walked over to sit with my tiny group instead.**

Brittany: [double thumbs-up] Now we can get this meeting started again!

Phoebe: [adjusts glasses] But, uh, where are we supposed to start? We sort of just stopped after Emily left, but I think we got the gist of what her most important thing was, so do we just, like, pick a person and go around or what?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Phoebe] That’s exactly what I was thinking, actually. Since Emily was the last to go, why don’t we just start at the little table?

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] I already said that I wouldn’t know.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Seriously, the most important thing I have left is this bag of fucking frosting, since I’ve managed to keep it from rupturing once over the past few years of apocalypse. I honestly don’t care that much, but I’d probably feel disappointed if it was destroyed? It would certainly make decorating cakes harder, for what it’s worth.

Will: [hugs his bow] Altdorf and I have been through a lot. I’d feel awful if anything happened to him. Which is why I’m betting Monokuma would use him as the motive. [grips his cap] [panicked expression] Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like he was more important than your lives! I’d rather lose him than have to kill one of you!

**Everyone’s eyes turned to me**.

Ray: Uh… My grandparents, probably? Though If I killed someone for their sake they’d probably kill _me_. I don’t have much that can be threatened by this motive.

Emily: [neutral expression] Since we’re going around, I’ll go again. He threatened my sister, Amanda. Next person, go.

Caleb: [tips hat down] [stern expression] I’ll go. I’d imagine he’d go after my ranch, since without it I’m not much of a rancher. And since it’s where my family and I have been hidin’ out, he could take away all of it with one misplaced brush fire.

Veronica: [lights match] Oops, shit. [puts out match] Sorry, Caleb, bad timing on my part.

Caleb: [tips had down] [smirks] No harm done.

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] Everything I give two shits about is either flame retardant or meant to be burned, so good luck destroying my stuff. [tries to light lollipop with unlit match] Not that I can, like, think of anything specific. Open-ended questions just confuse me.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Speaking of open-ended questions!

**Nice transition.**

Eric: [poses dramatically] To an open-ended question I must give an equally open-ended answer! Thus I shall say this! What is most important to me cannot be destroyed as long as I still breathe! [smug smile] So unless you are willing to kill me yourself, Monokuma, this motive is nothing to Eric Decker, Ultimate Impressionist!

Madeline: [fans her face] [frowns] At least someone here is feeling good about themselves.

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] Madeline and I already went, so who’s next?

Phoebe: [raises hand, accidentally smacks off glasses] Ah! Oh no!

**I’m not sure how she just accomplished that, but it was certainly impressive.**

Phoebe: [fixes glasses] Uh, can you gimme a second?

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] I shall go while Lady Williams is indisposed. [neutral, yet concerned expression] The most important thing to any decent butler is their employer. My current employer is quite safe, however, and I cannot imagine what Monokuma could do to change that.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] I’m up, then! My most important thing is probably my dog, Chaplin. [folds arms with frown] I’ve always said I’d kill for that little guy, but I never meant it literally. [folds arms with thoughtful look] Well, except for that one guy, but he probably deserved it.

**I fully believe you killed a man over a dog. Hell, I’d probably kill someone if they threatened my dog. Not that I _have_ a dog, currently. This… this train of thought is irrelevant.**

Phoebe: [eyes closed, sighing] Okay, now I’m ready. [adjusts glasses] The most important thing to me is my family. They’re, you know, family. Uh, I feel compelled to say more, but there’s not much else to say about it?

John: [mildly frowns] I’ve met some pretty interesting people. One of them is probably still alive. Of course, I’d need confirmation they’re still alive to be willing to kill for them, but if Monokuma really wants me to kill someone I’m sure he’ll come through.

**Oh, so you would be willing to kill one of us for this motive, but only if he proves he can pull it off? That’s comforting. Remind to never be alone in a room with you.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Oh gosh, my turn. I’ve been trying to figure that out myself. I don’t have any family left, so it’s not that. Friends, maybe? I don’t know of any that survived. And I wasn’t too attached to anything I owned… [unsure smile] Sorry, I don’t know! And I had all that time to think, too.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] It’s fine. You yourself said that you didn’t have to share if you didn’t want to.

Ryan: [agitated expression] Since you mentioned it, I might as well say that I won’t be fucking sharing.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Another one for the indecisive pile?

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] I know what’s fucking important to me! I’m just not going to go around announcing it in this goddamn shithole!

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tries to keep smiling] It’s fine, you don’t have to share. It would be nice if you could avoid shouting at us, though.

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] Yeah, fine, what the fuck ever.

**That’s weird. Normally he’d stop to breathe, but he seems to be content with staying angry. I wonder what’s so bad about his important thing?**

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] Since that’s everyone, that brings this meeting to a close! [double thumbs-up] Let’s all get a good night’s sleep for tomorrow!

**Several people stood from their seats without a word, apparently forgoing dinner. I noticed more than a few were people that had also skipped out on breakfast, and I started to wonder if they ever ate. Everyone at my table seemed content with their positions.**

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Oh, hey, Eric! I wanna talk to you real quick!

Eric: [cups hand around ear] Oh? What about?

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] It’s a secret! I’ll tell you when we’re out of earshot of everyone else.

Eric: [smug smile] Alright, but know this! [poses dramatically] If this is some ploy to lure me to a vulnerable position, you are warned that Eric Decker has no weaknesses!

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] How dumb do you think I am? I just wanna talk.

Eric: [waves dismissively] Then yeah, I have a minute.

**I was watching the two of them leave the cafeteria to discuss whatever Autumn was planning, when Adrian’s expression caught my eye. For once, he looked like something was seriously bothering him.**

Ray: What’s wrong?

Adrian: [serious expression] That didn’t fucking work.

Will: [grips cap] [nervous expression] What do you mean?

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] I mean that this meeting isn’t going to do shit to stop a murder.

Emily: [uncertain expression] Cynical of you.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Because pessimism is so out of character for me? [serious expression] I’m being serious, here. None of that is going to help. You heard those answers. Most of them were either things we wouldn’t kill for, or just plain non-answers.

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] And your point is…?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] My point is that that’s just not possible. _Someone_ here has to have something they’d be willing to kill for, and that bear knows what it is. He already proved it when he brought up your sister, Emily.

Emily: [neutral expression] …I would never _kill_ for her.

Adrian: [serious expression] _You_ know you’re lying, and _I_ know you’re lying. And even if you do mean it, what’s to say everyone else does? What if someone is lying, just to keep us off their trail?

Will: [hugs his bow] [scared expression] You think… someone is already planning a murder?

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] It’ll be a fucking miracle if they aren’t.

**No, that’s wrong! It _has_ to be.**

Ray: We know what Monokuma wants. _Nobody_ here is going to give him the despair he’s after.

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] I really fucking hope you’re right about that.

**I didn’t feel like eating after that, so I ended up going back to my room for the night. I contemplated trying to sleep early, but I’d probably just be woken by the nighttime announcement and I didn’t feel like dealing with that. I thought about being contemplative about the day, but I wasn’t feeling up to that either. I’d already worried about someone dying yesterday, I didn’t need to do it again today.**

**At least the bear didn’t show himself today. That’s a small comfort, but it’s something.**

*Ding dong, bing bong*

 

Monokuma: Aaand, CUT! It is now 10 pm! Filming is done for today, but don’t worry, I’m always keeping an eye on you! All actors are advised to return to their dressing rooms and rehearse for tomorrow’s performance. But do make sure you get some beauty sleep! Remember, you’re all stars here!

 

**That doesn’t count. That was a recording.**

**The broadcast didn’t get its volume cranked up this time, but something kept drawing my focus to it anyway. The last murder had happened right after the announcement yesterday, so maybe the second one would as well?**

**I was proven right about ten minutes later when a sickening crack indicated the death of the small programmer.**

**As I continued watching I noticed something about the timing of the edits. They were precisely timed so that the murder and the subsequent cover up took about half an hour after the announcement. Then it would cut to an hour of the survivors investigating, then an hour and a half of trial. If I recalled correctly, the first murder had followed the same timeframe. I also recalled that the investigation had just begun when I returned to my room yesterday.**

**If I put all that together, and assume Monokuma was being exact when he gave us the time limit for his motive, that means we have until about 10:30 tomorrow night for someone to commit murder. Maybe we can do something to distract us during that timeframe? A party or something? I don’t know, that’s not my forte.**

**I made sure to commit that information to memory before finally falling asleep. Who knows? It could be important later.**

** Monokuma Theater **

Monokuma: You better have something for me this time, buddy.

Monokuma: ……

Monokuma: What? What’s this?

Monokuma: A dictionary?

Monokuma: What, you just want me to read the definitions of random words?

Monokuma: ……

Monokuma: Titivate. Verb. To make smart or spruce.

Monokuma: What kind of a word is that? And for that matter, what kind of definition is that?

Monokuma: I just read the actual _definition_ and I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean!

Monokuma: Geez, this is pathetic.

Monokuma: Fine, I guess I’ll have to write my own material, because you clearly can't!

Monokuma: Never trust an author with a bear’s job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I have funny Free Time events planned, you guys just managed to pick all the serious or sad ones first. And speaking of Free Time Events, there's still one more slot open for the next chapter! Veronica and John are up, but there's a third next chapter that's ripe for the voting. And then someone will die, because the time is just about up in this motive. I actually have a specific-ish plan for that next chapter, so maybe it won't take a month to write this time!
> 
> Also, feel free to ask questions. No matter how irrelevant, I guarantee I'll probably answer it. You can even ask something like 'Who's going to kill who in this chapter?' And I'll try my best to make the subsequent lie believable/funny, or I might actually tell the truth? Not even I know.
> 
> Anyway, I'm always happy to see people reading and possibly enjoying things I write. Any comments, speculation, questions, and especially Free Time votes are quite appreciated!


	6. Chapter 1: Monokuma Theater Presents - Studio Life of Mutual Killing: The Movie: The Game: Daily Life, Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said it might not take a month to write this chapter, and then it took exactly a month to write. It counts if I finish it at 2:10 am, right? I wouldn't have been sleeping anyway.
> 
> Also, I haven't made this clear yet, but here's how I'm treating the blood. Just like in the games, characters will refer to it as being red in dialogue, since that's what they see. Visually, it will be pink. To translate that into writing, Ray's narration will describe it as pink, even though he's seeing it as red. Confused? Good.
> 
> Why would you need to know that? No particular reason. Somebody just gets a cut, and it needs to be described. That's all.
> 
> Also featured in this chapter, questions in Free Time Events! It's literally just a list of options, then a bolded answer right after. Nothing complex until the trial.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

*Ding dong, bing bong*

 

Monokuma: Aaand, ACTION! It is now 7 am! Filming has begun for the day! Time to get your lazy butts out of bed and back to the action! We’ve got a lot of scenes to get done today, so hop to it! Remember, you’re all stars here!

 

**Oh, fuck off.**

**Let it be known that every time that bear’s voice wakes me up, the previous sentence is my official response. Even if I don’t say it, I’m saying it in spirit.**

Ray: Oh, fuck off.

**I can also say it out loud.**

**I made sure to face the camera as I said it, just to be sure he heard it. I half expected him to suddenly appear in my room and respond to me, but apparently I’m not important enough as he chose to ignore me.**

**After a couple minutes of waiting I decided to head to breakfast. I decided to sit at the small table I was quickly getting attached to. A couple of people who had beaten me here clearly had the same idea.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] G’mornin’, partner.

Veronica: [glances away from flame] Yo.

Emily: [helmet down] [uncertain expression] …Hey, Ray.

Will: [nervous smile] Good morning.

**Looks like Emily and Will are avoiding the main group again. Will makes sense, I get the impression he’s uncomfortable in crowds, but Emily seemed pretty social. She must still be worried about her sister. Understandable, given the circumstances.**

**I can’t wait until we’re past this damn motive.**

**And speaking of things I want us to get past, I hear more of that fucking jingling.**

Ray: Are you guys doing that weird key thing too?

Caleb: [makes gun with hand and points at his chest] Yup. Who am I to go against the fashion advice of the Ultimate Fashion Designer?

**It took me a second to notice the key hanging out of his vest pocket, apparently attached to something inside.**

**Veronica pulled a lighter out of one of her pockets and shook it, calling attention to her key.**

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] Normally letting things dangle near fire is totally a bad idea, but steel is, like, not at all flammable.

**Veronica has a lighter on her? Then why does she have all those matches?**

Will: [scratches neck] With all the matches you light I didn’t think you had a lighter on you.

**It’s convenient having Will around. It saves me the trouble of actually asking questions.**

Veronica: [lights lollipop] If I used the lighter I’d, like, never get anything done. They take for- _ever_ to burn out.

Emily: [raps head with knuckles] Always had that valley girl accent? Seems new.

Veronica: [stares at flame on lollipop] Have you always, like, dropped the first couple words from the start of your, like, sentences?

Emily: [shrugs] Sometimes, if I don’t think I need them. [neutral expression] Gonna answer my question, or not?

Veronica: [smirks] I might’ve. Does it, like, matter? I have it now.

Caleb: [holds out hand] To answer your question plainly, she’s had it the whole time, it just wasn’t too pronounced.

Veronica: [disappointed frown] Aw, come on. Let me have some mystery, here.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [raises eyebrow] Bein’ obtuse about your accent ain’t mysterious, it’s just silly.

Veronica: [lollipop burns out] What- _ever_.

 

Brittany: *bzzzzt*   *jingle jingle*

 

**Thank you for interrupting that conversation, Brittany.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] Is everybody here for the morning meeting?

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] You’re the one standing on the table. You tell us.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Your foot is on my waffle.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [unsure smile] Oops. Sorry, Autumn.

Jacob: [neutral, yet disgusted expression] Please refrain from standing on tables in the future, Lady Day. It is both unsafe and unsanitary.

Brittany: [hands on hips] As long as I’m up here, I can confirm that we are indeed all here!

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] That’s wonderful, darling. Now, unless you have any more meals to trod upon, would you care to tell us what we are meeting about?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Madeline] The motive, of course!

John: [raises eyebrow] Didn’t we already talk about the motive yesterday?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [nods vigorously] We did, but I think we should do something else about it. [tilts head quizzically] I mean, that deadline is sometime tonight. Shouldn’t we do something to try and cheer ourselves up?

Autumn: [wide smile with arms spread] Ooh! Are you suggesting we have a party?! Because I’ve already got you covered!

Eric: [Adrian’s voice] [mimes tapping head with frosting bag] Does this have something to do with you meeting with Eric last night? [Eric’s normal voice] [pounds chest with fist] It most certainly does!

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] I can ask my own questions, dude.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Anywho, that’s what I was asking Eric about. Since we’re both comedians, I figured we could put on a late night show to take everyone’s mind off of the motive.

Brittany: [double thumbs-up] That’s a great idea! We can turn that into a whole party! It’ll be so much fun!

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] Of course it will! Any party I’m at is a great party!

Eric: [poses dramatically] With our talents combined, we will put on a show like nothing the world has ever seen!

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] I’m sure your performance will be spectacular! Both of you! Thank you!

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] You’re the one who suggested we have a party, so we should be thanking you, Brittany!

Eric: [poses dramatically] Indeed! You have done a fine job leading this group over the past two days, Miss Day!

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] Aw, thanks you guys! You’re great too!

Ryan: [closes eyes] [takes a deep breath] Jesus fucking Christ, you guys.

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] As much as I hate to cut a good circlejerk short, doesn’t a party need a lot of preparation? And doesn’t the motive expire tonight?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at April] You’re exactly right! We need to get started right away if we want to be done in time!

Caleb: [claps hands together] Well then we oughta get started. [holds out hand] Come on Will, let’s get to it.

Will: [grips cap] [panicked expression] Huh?! Why do you need me?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] ‘Cause I’ve got an idea for some decoratin’, but I’ll need some Ultimate-level archery to pull it off properly. Think you’re up to it?

Will: [slightly pink] [embarrassed smile] Oh, yeah, of course! I’m always ready to help when I’m needed.

**The two of them stood and left the cafeteria, leaving their half-eaten food for somebody else to clean up, the pricks.**

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Aw, damn, did Caleb and the midget just leave? I was gonna ask them to help move some heavy stuff.

Veronica: [narrows eyes] I get asking Caleb, because _damn_ that guy is _built_ , but Will? He’s, like, so tiny, as you keep pointing out.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] I’ll admit I don’t know, well, anything at all about archery, but I figure you need upper body strength for it? Maybe? I literally don’t care enough to check.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] If strength is what you need, then I will happily assist a fellow practitioner of comedy!

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] You? You’re like a twig, man.

**I hadn’t actually registered it before, but Autumn was correct. His suit was bulky enough that you wouldn’t notice it at first glance, but Eric was surprisingly skinny for someone his height. You could see his limbs looked unusually small where they weren’t covered by his suit.**

Eric: [smug smile] Appearances can be deceiving, my friend! I assure you that I am stronger than I look!

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] I guess I can help with moving shit, too. Not like there’s a lot else for me to do. There’s not even a fucking _plastic_ plant in those storerooms, and believe me I have checked.

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] April, dear, would you like to work together on a quick layout of the party room? I was thinking either here or the Green Room would work best.

April: [places finger on chin] The Green Room is smaller, but only if you count the kitchen with the cafeteria. Plus, the storeroom is connected directly to it, so moving things into it would be easier…

Jacob: [neutral, yet proud expression] I shall prepare a feast fit for a king.

Phoebe: [raises hand] Ah, I can help with that! I’m not a super great cook or anything but I can help with serving and stuff, probably?

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] I can help too. If it was alive at some point, I can cook it to edibility.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Ah-ha! So you can cook human meat, then! Duly noted!

**Autumn pulled out her little notepad. If the quiet jingle that accompanied the motion was anything to go by, it was what she’d chosen to attach her key to.**

Maria: [sheepish expression] Uh, maybe? It’s something I kept telling myself to test out, but the opportunity doesn’t come up too often, you know? [bites her lip] Plus, it tends to freak people out when you suggest it.

**For completely valid reasons.**

Adrian: [half-assed confident smile] I hope there’s room for one more in that kitchen, because I’ll be damned if I don’t decorate at least one cake before somebody bites it.

Brittany: [hands on hips] I’ll be going around making sure everything’s going smoothly! Good luck with things in here, everyone!

**Everyone left the room to work on whatever they’d announced, leaving me alone with just Veronica, John and Emily. John took the opportunity to join the three of us at our table.**

John: [polite smile] Looks like we’re the only ones without jobs to do.

Veronica: [lights match] [stares at flame] Usually I’m a blast at parties, but my usual tricks are, like, totally unsafe when we’re indoors. Setting the building on fire, while awesome, would turn into a bummer when we all, like, burned to death, you know?

Emily: [holds up hand] Just not a party when there’s all this gravity. [wistful look] Nothin’ like havin’ a good time in Zero-G. ‘Specially since you always have stuff to talk about in space. Ah, the memories…

Emily: [uncertain expression] …… Think I’ll head back to my room.

**The motive must be nagging at her again. She may be good at hiding her feelings, but I already know she’s having trouble handling this. I’m sure everyone else is dreading the motive, too, with how quick they were to distract themselves with work. This day can’t be over soon enough.**

**On that train of thought, I need to find something to do myself. I suppose I could go around and offer my help with odd jobs? Or I could just slack off and try to find a way to pass time quicker? Let’s go with the latter.**

**As for _how_ to pass time, this worked pretty well yesterday.**

**FREE TIME START!**

**I stood from my seat as I went through the list of everyone present, trying to decide who I wanted to chat with. Most people would actually be busy, so my options are currently narrow. The answer hit me immediately after I walked out the cafeteria doors, and I ended up tracing my steps right back to the table I’d just left. Veronica and John were still sitting quietly; Veronica was about to torch another innocent lollipop, and John was fiddling with his eHandbook.**

Veronica: [glances away from flame] I was wondering where the hell you thought you were going. We’re the only ones that aren’t doing shit, so if you want a conversation it’s right here.

 

**Should I spend some time with Veronica?**

**Yes** / No

 

Veronica: [smirks] Welcome to Lazy Asshole Central, Population: Three Lazy Assholes.

**Veronica, John and I made some really underwhelming small talk for a little while. Veronica barely spoke, and John, true to his talent, managed to say absolutely nothing interesting for an impressive amount of time. Eventually Phoebe passed by to bring snacks to the Green Room, and John offered to help, leaving me alone with Veronica.**

**Even though we barely spoke, Veronica offered me one of her many lollipops, which I _think_ means we got closer.**

Veronica: [stares at flame] ……

Ray: ……

**Well, this is certainly familiar.**

Ray: So…

Veronica: [glances away from flame] So…?

**Good to know we are equally shitty at small talk.**

Ray: So, uh… Tell me about yourself?

Veronica: [stares at flame] What’s there to, like, tell? You know my name, what I do, all that jazz. Shit, Autumn’s little questionnaire means you know more about me than most people. On top of that, the eHandbook has even more random trivia about me. [points with lit match] I remember, like, talking about the likes and dislikes on the way here, but God only knows how he figured out all our damn chest sizes.

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] That’s a 35D, in case you were wondering.

Ray: I… I honestly wasn’t.

Veronica: [smirks] Sure you weren’t.

**Great. I manage to get her talking, and it immediately shifts to an awkward topic. Dammit, nobody told me conversations were this hard.**

Veronica: [lights lollipop] ……

**And I think I just found my way out.**

Ray: Why do you do that, if you don’t mind me asking?

Veronica: [glances away from flame] What, lighting my lollies?

Ray: Yeah.

**I don’t think you’re British enough to call it a ‘lolly’, though.**

Veronica: [points with lit match] Did you, like, hit your head or something? I’m a pyrotechnician, dude. Pyro is right there in the name. That’s the Latin root for ‘fire’. It means I burn things.

Ray: That’s- well, there’s more to the word than its root, for a start. But, more importantly, that’s not what a pyrotechnician does.

Veronica: [narrows eyes] Like, seriously? You’re telling _me_ that I don’t know what a pyrotechnician does?

Ray: Well, no. I’m sure you know what a pyrotechnician does, I just don’t think you answered my question.

Veronica: [puts out match] All right then, tell me.

Ray: Tell you what?

Veronica: [smirks] Tell the _Ultimate Pyrotechnician_ what a _pyrotechnician_ does.

**She’s just giving me a look, now. I don’t think this conversation is going anywhere until I give her an answer. Fine then, Miss Pyrotechnician, I’ll accept your challenge. You may know your fire, but _I_ am a _Narrator_ , and I know my words. A pyrotechnician is someone who…**

Likes starting fires / Handles pyrotechnics and explosives / Puts out fires

 

**Answer: Handles pyrotechnics and explosives**

Ray: You know this already, but a pyrotechnician is the person responsible for safe handling and deployment of pyrotechnic devices, like fireworks. Fire doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with it.

Veronica: [stares at flame on lollipop] …… [smirks] Ding, ding, ding! Heh, you totally got me. [holds up unlit match] Yeah, my job doesn’t start with a match, most of the time. Or, at least, it didn’t used to. What with the apocalypse and all I’m finding that I need them more and more often. Fire by itself is pretty useful when safety isn’t, like, relevant.

Veronica: [stares at flame on lollipop] But yeah, like, I got my title from working with fireworks, mainly. I was the girl in charge of, like, setting up the show, making sure shit ran properly, keeping the dismemberments to, like, an acceptable level, shit like that.

Ray: That’s certainly interesting, but it still doesn’t answer my question.

Veronica: [glances away from flame] Right. The candy. I dunno, it’s just a thing I do. Fire is warm and bright, and those are good things in my book. And as for the candy, like, specifically…? I guess I just like candy, so I always have some on me. Plus, it lasts a bit longer than a match. [lollipop burns out] …Most of the time, anyway. [unwraps new lollipop] So, like, why not burn it?

Ray: If you like candy so much, then why not just, you know, eat it?

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] Not all candy is created equal, dude. Everybody knows that. Most of these lollipops are things people left behind while looting, so, like, everyone already took all the good flavors, leaving me with just, like, the shitty root beer flavored ones. Pretty much all those damn things are good for is burning. [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] Ooh, lemon! Nice. No fire for this little lovely.

Veronica: [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] Anyway, does that, like, answer your question?

Ray: I… guess it does.

Veronica: [lights match] Sweet.

**In seconds she had zoned me completely out to stare at the match, bringing an end to our conversation.**

**I… honestly expected a bit more from that conversation. The majority of it ended up dancing around the question, and generally not talking about her. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve seen her hold a conversation with anyone outside of meals. Maybe… is she doing that on purpose? Is she trying to avoid getting close to anyone here? I mean, it’s just a guess, but I think it makes sense.**

**Maybe I understand Veronica a little better now? It’s hard to tell.**

**FREE TIME END**

**My legs were starting to get numb from all the sitting, so I decided to take a look around to stretch them a bit. Based on the smell the people in the kitchen were pretty busy, so I left to check out how the Green Room’s prep was coming along instead.**

*whoosh*

 

**I flinched instinctively, but nothing came toward me. A quick glance told me that nobody else in the room had been surprised by the noise. Thankfully, everyone was too preoccupied to notice me embarrass myself.**

Will: [grips cap] [panicked expression] Oh! Sorry Ray, I didn’t mean to startle you!

Ray: Was that you? Why are you shooting arrows around?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [smirks] ‘Cause he’s an archer.

**No kidding?**

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Sorry, it was Caleb’s idea. [panicked expression] Ah, not that I’m trying to blame it on you! I’m sorry!

Caleb: [chuckles] It’s fine, Will. I knew what you meant.

Will: [embarrassed smile] Eh-heh. Uh, what I meant to say was that it’s part of his idea for decorating the room.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] I figured we could liven the place up by hanging some banners, but there’s nothin’ in the storerooms for mountin’ ‘em on the walls. But Will here can fire an arrow hard enough to embed it in the wall. So if we tie a string to two arrows and fire both of them, then we’ll make a place to hang a banner. Make sense?

Ray: I can’t say I’d have thought of it, but, yeah, it makes sense.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] Good, ‘cause I can’t be assed to explain it again.

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Sorry again for startling you. You don’t need to worry about my shots, though. I’m definitely not going to hit you on accident.

**As much as I believe that, I hadn’t been worrying about it until you mentioned it. I think I’ll be making myself a smaller target, just to be safe.**

**Just a couple meters away Madeline, April and Brittany were looking over a paper laid out on a table, which I could only assume had a layout of the room on it.**

April: [leans on tube] [neutral expression] You’re gonna want the stage underneath the lights, but also in the path of the projector, and they only really overlap here. And if it’s set up there, you’ll need the tables to be arranged like so for there to be space to move around the room. Now, in order to hear the stage in a big room like this you’ll- Oh, Ray.

Ray: I don’t mean to interrupt.

Brittany: [double thumbs-up] Don’t worry about it, buddy! April already has it all sketched out, we’re just going over it.

**‘Buddy’? What are you, a 50-year-old dad?**

Madeline: [fans her face] [half-smile] Autumn and Eric asked that we arrange the room much like a; how do you say? A… bar with a stage? [drops accent] [frowns] I actually don’t know if there’s a term for it.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] Like a karaoke bar?

Madeline: [fans her face] [frowns] Yes, but less specific. A venue, maybe?

April: [leans on tube] [bites cheek in contemplation] I’ve designed a couple of them before, but I’ve heard them called all kinds of things: bars, music venues, clubs. Never anything specific.

Madeline: [wipes her brow gracefully] [frowns] They _must_ have some kind of name. They are too distinct to have gone without one for so long.

Brittany: [clasps hands] Ooh, we could come up with our own name!

April: [leans on tube] [frowns slightly] I guess, but then what if we actually find a name for it? Then we’d just look like idiots.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [grins] Maybe we’ll pick a name that just happens to be what they’re already called? It’d be like reinventing the word!

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] That is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

**Realizing that I wasn’t so much participating in this conversation as I was eavesdropping on it, I decided to make my leave.**

**I heard a loud rumbling noise coming from one end of the room, along with some voices.**

Ryan: Move your asses unless you wanna get flattened!

Ryan: I said I can speak for myself, you watercolor shit stain!

Eric: Ha-ha! You’ll have come up with better insults than that to faze me, Sommer!

Ryan: Don’t fucking tempt me, Decker!

**I shuffled myself out of the way as Ryan and Eric wheeled the stage from the second storeroom into the Green Room. Autumn walked in after them.**

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Could you two be any _less_ careful with that thing? Jeez.

Ryan: [annoyed expression] I don’t see you helping us move this piece of shit.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Someone had to tell you where to put it.

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] You _haven’t_ told us where to put it! We just lugged the thing in here!

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] And that’s what I’m about to ask April about.

Ryan: [folds arms] Oh, no! You probably can’t read a building plan to save your fucking life! I’ll go talk to her.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Whatever you wanna do, dude.

**Ryan walked over to where April was in a huff, though his huff seemed to be slightly less huffy than usual.**

Ray: Ryan seems to be in a good mood.

Eric: [poses dramatically] One tends to be when they converse with the object of their affections.

Ray: With his what now?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Turns out April knows how to pick her crushes, ‘cause Ryan there has one right back!

Eric: [smug smile] He’s been shooting glances at Miss Collins since she walked in the room. I’m frankly amazed she hasn’t noticed, considering his general lack of subtlety.

Ray: That’s, uh, interesting, I guess?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] You’re not one for gossip, are you? Jeez, the more I find out about you the more boring you get.

Eric: [waves dismissively] If the crowd is large enough there’s sure to be _someone_ who doesn’t appreciate the joke.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Speaking of jokes, we should rehearse our act again!

Eric: [adjusts tie uncomfortably] Out here? In front of everyone? I don’t think I’m ready for that!

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Oh God, no! What kind of girl do you think I am? [folds arms with friendly smile] I meant that we should go lock ourselves in my room for a while and make some noise! It’s not like anybody is going to hear us through all the soundproofing.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Ah-ha! That’s what you meant! Certainly, Madam! I will do my best to avoid playing the punchline too early this time! [leaves]

Autumn: [exaggerated sigh] Somehow I doubt that. [leaves]

**…Did that really just happen?**

Ryan: [agitated expression] Did I just see Autumn and Decker walk out?

Ray: Yeah. They just left to go… rehearse? In Autumn’s room.

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] So they left me to move this heavy piece of shit _by myself_ while they fuck around? [throws arms up in irritation] That’s just fucking _wonderful_ , isn’t it?! Lazy assholes…

**I started to offer to help, but Caleb and Will beat me to it, having apparently finished devaluing the building in their banner hanging attempts.**

**As I passed through the hallway on the way back to the cafeteria I spotted Emily walking toward her room with some snacks in hand, presumably obtained from storeroom seven. Her helmet was up, so I couldn’t see her face, but from the way she was hurrying I could tell something was bothering her.**

**In all likelihood it was the same thing that had been bothering her the last few times I saw her, but I’m pretty sure a good friend would be concerned anyway? I’ll admit to being new at this.**

Ray: Hey, Emily.

Emily: [helmet up] Ray.

**She gave a nod of acknowledgment at my presence before continuing to her room. Just before she got there I felt the urge to say something.**

Ray: How are you holding up?

Emily: [helmet up] Fine. [folds arms] ……

Ray: ……

Emily: [folds arms] Not so fine, I guess. Pretty terrible, actually.

Ray: I’m not busy, if you want to talk more.

Emily: [taps finger expectantly] Nah, I can handle it. Just gotta wait until the motive’s over, and hope he was bluffing.

Ray: I know what it’s like to lose someone. Keeping it bottled up won’t help. We’re not in space, you’re not the only one that can fix it when something goes wrong. You can panic if you need to, and someone else can take over. I’m here if you need me: we all are.

Emily: [helmet up] … [thumbs-up] Thanks. I think I needed that.

**For a second her normal tone of voice was back, something I hadn’t heard since the motive was announced.**

Emily: [points off to the side with her thumb] Gonna head back to my room for a bit, try to take my mind off things. Grab me when the party starts?

Ray: Sure.

**It wasn’t much, but it felt like the right thing to say to her. Maybe I’m not as terrible as talking to people as I thought?**

**The people in the kitchen still seemed busy, so I decided to put off talking to them for the time being. And since I’ve checked up on everyone at this point, it’s about time for this again.**

**FREE TIME START!**

**Veronica hadn’t moved from her spot in the past few minutes, and was staring very intently at a lollipop she had just lit. John had apparently returned from helping Phoebe with the snacks. Since they were my only conversation partners, and Veronica was clearly too zoned out to register people talking, my choice was rather easy.**

John: [polite smile] Hello Ray. How’s your day been?

 

**Should I spend some time with John?**

**Yes** / No, I won’t remember it anyway

 

John: [nods slightly] Sure, I’m always happy to chat.

**John and I somehow managed to start a conversation about the weather, despite neither of us having a way to tell what it was currently like. Not that there’s much variation in it lately, what with the horrible pollution and general shittiness of the air. The Americas apparently had it better than most, thanks to the massive swaths of sparsely populated land, but it was quite unpleasant all around.**

**This highlights the problem of attempting to talk to John, I think. No matter what the guy says, it is extremely forgettable. Here I am trying to describe our conversation, and I somehow manage to only ramble about air quality, something that John has nothing to do with whatsoever. This fucking talent, man.**

**Regardless of the content, my chat with John was a pleasant way to kill time, and I feel like we grew closer because of it.**

John: [polite smile] …anyway, long story short, I ended up coming in 3rd overall. Normally everybody would have complained about some nobody placing at all, but 1st and 2nd ended up being so controversial that nobody even noticed me. Which was lucky on my part, since those two were found beaten half to death the next week.

Ray: Uh-huh. That will hap- wait what the fuck?

**I’ve only been half paying attention for a minute or so, so I’m not too sure what he’s talking about, but _that_ certainly caught my attention!**

John: [laughs] Well what would you expect? People always take their sports way too seriously, without anyone to maintain order things are bound to get out of control.

Ray: Uh, right, yeah. The apocalypse will do that.

John: [raises eyebrow] Who said anything about the apocalypse? This happened in my middle school. Didn’t I mention that?

Ray: Uh…

**Okay, now I _really_ want to know what I just missed.**

John: [laughs] Hah! I’m just messing with you! [polite smile] I noticed you weren’t paying attention, so I decided to take the opportunity to kid around.

Ray: Ah, shit. Sorry. I was paying attention for a while there, but my mind started wandering.

John: [holds out hand] It’s no trouble. I’m used to it. Being so forgettable has its ups and downs.

**It certainly makes having a conversation with you more difficult that it should be.**

**Though that actually brings up something I’ve been wondering about.**

Ray: Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while: How did you manage to get scouted, anyway? Your talent can’t be easy to find.

John: [nods slightly] A fair question. [neutral expression] I actually asked the same thing myself on the way here. Or, rather, the topic shifted to it and the interviewer went into specific detail without any prompting.

Ray: Of course.

John: [polite smile] Apparently they started by ruling out anyone not named John Smith, including anyone named Jonathan that used John as a nickname, anyone named Jon without an ‘h’, and even John Smiths that had middle names. This ruled out a lot of people at the get-go, including all women, but that has something to do with the way American culture inherently views men as more generic as women.

John: [polite smile] Obviously I fit that criteria. They then filtered it a bit more by common American features: brown hair, right handed, born on September 16th, Caucasian, almost exactly 5 foot 9 and a half inches tall and blood type O positive. [holds out hand] Hence why most of that is in the eHandbook.

John: [neutral expression] They took the surprisingly large number of people they had at that point and condensed it further by removing anyone with distinguishing features, like scars, birthmarks or tattoos. On top of all _that_ they ignored anyone with particularly outstanding achievements, like winning an award for something other than participation or being convicted of anything more than a misdemeanor.

John: [mildly frowns] I assume they ignored post-apocalyptic achievements, since I’ve committed more than a few felonies in the past couple years.

John: [neutral expression] Anyway, after all that they had a fairly small pool of candidates in the age range they wanted, maybe 100 or so. A couple dozen had been killed, another batch were too far gone, and I hunted down and killed the other potentials to make sure they’d pick me. [polite smile] Does that about answer your question?

Ray: Uh… I think so.

**Jesus you said a lot there. I’m still trying to parse all the information you just handed me.**

John: [polite smile] That’s good, because that was more talking then I think I’ve ever done. I even left a lot of it out, because I didn’t want to overload you too much.

Ray: Thanks for that.

**What could he possibly have left out of that novel’s worth of information? I’m almost curious, but at the same time I don’t think it would be worth hearing.**

**Well that was certainly a thing that happened, I guess? Despite John talking for a good while, I think that may have been one of the shorter conversations I’ve had thus far. Also probably one of the least informative. I guess I shouldn’t have expected there to be much to the Ultimate Nondescript, but it was worth a shot.**

**I’m sure I’ll forget all the things he just told me about relatively soon. None of it caught my attention. Well, except for the bit about him apparently hunting and killing the other potentials _what the actual fuck_.**

**Holy shit, I just registered that! He did say that, right?! I didn’t hallucinate it? I’d ask, but that would be suicidally stupid and also probably rude? I think I’ll take a raincheck on that conversation, and also maybe on all conversations with John in the future.**

**At first that conversation didn’t help me understand John any better, but that one sentence gave me an understanding I really don’t think I wanted.**

**FREE TIME END**

**I made a hasty excuse about checking on everyone else and fled from the table. My conscience made sure to tell me I was leaving Veronica alone with what could very well be a very dangerous individual, but my rational mind told me that if he was going to do anything it wouldn’t be in a place as public as this cafeteria.**

**I decided to make my excuse sound plausible by heading over to the kitchen. It was currently about 5:00, thanks to the Free Time Warps that seem to trigger whenever I have five minute conversations with people, so I assumed that the folks in the kitchen should be about done by now.**

**I almost walked right into Phoebe while heading toward the kitchen. I mentally scolded myself for that happening three times in three days, but in my defense Phoebe is a lot shorter than me and I was still distracted from my conversation with John ‘Probably A Serial Killer’ Smith.**

Phoebe: [slightly pink] Please be careful, Ray! I already bang my glasses up enough myself without help from people that aren’t paying attention to where they’re walking! Uh, no offence, or anything, but, you know, it was your fault.

Ray: I know, you’re not the first person I’ve walked into so far.

Phoebe: [narrows eyes] [frowns] I didn’t really take you for the ‘texting while driving’ type, but looks can be deceiving, I guess.

**More like the ‘narrating while walking’ type.**

Ray: Probably why I couldn’t get a license even before the world ended, but that’s neither here nor there. How’s all the cooking going?

Phoebe: [bright smile] [both hands raised slightly] Oh, Jacob’s been letting me taste test it and it’s all _so good_! He made all these really good pastries, and this big bowl of soup, and some fresh lemonade! He even went out of his way to make a plate of grilled salmon for me as a thank you for helping him! Even though we don’t have a grill! He’s amazing!

Ray: After those omelets I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t amazing. You didn’t mention what Adrian or Maria are making, though.

Phoebe: [adjusts glasses] [slightly pink] Oh, right, them. Uh, Maria’s been cooking some meat dishes, I think? And Adrian is just finishing up the cake he’s baking. You should probably check with them yourself, because I’ve been too distracted staring at Jacob. [bright pink] …Did I just say that out loud?

Ray: Nope.

Phoebe: [bright pink with face in hands] I don’t believe you, but thanks for trying, at least. I’m just going to go and deliver some of this food. Hopefully I can keep my foot out of my mouth, but knowing me I probably won’t. [leaves]

**…What was that, the third implication of romantic tension today? It’s been three days, guys. Our goal here is to restore hope/murder each other, not to pair off as fast as possible.**

**I made my way over to Jacob, partly out of curiosity as to what he was making, and partly because I’ve barely spoken to the guy the whole time we’ve been here.**

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] [bows slightly] Sir Glenshaw.

Ray: Jacob. What’re you cooking?

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] A glaze for the ham Lady Corsano is preparing. [neutral, yet proud expression] She insisted it was not necessary, but what sort of butler would leave a ham un-glazed? It would be an insult to everyone here to serve anything but the absolute highest quality foods.

Ray: We’re having a ham? Isn’t that a bit overboard for a last second party like this?

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] Is that so? This party is our effort to counteract Monokuma’s plots, is it not? If creating a feast such as this is within our means, and it serves to distract from the motive, then why should we not create it? I personally do not believe that one can go ‘overboard’ when trying to prevent needless bloodshed. Not in this sense, at least.

Ray: You certainly take your cooking very seriously.

Jacob: [neutral, yet relaxed expression] I would be shaming myself to do anything less. [neutral, yet apologetic expression] I do not mean to cut an already brief conversation short, but this does require my attention.

**I left Jacob to his glaze, as well as several other dishes I noticed he was cooking simultaneously. Adrian and Maria were nearby each other, chatting, so I decided to join them.**

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Christ almighty, talk about optimism. Does he seriously think some admittedly amazing food is going to stop a murder? [scoffs] He’s worse than the fucking hope kid.

Maria: [bites her lip] You do realize that ‘hope kid’ has a name, and that he’s probably older than us by now?

Adrian: [bored expression] Eh, he’s still a kid in the video. Plus, Japanese names are a pain in the ass to remember. They’re either really long or really samey sounding. [taps head with frosting bag] I’d make some crack about nobody being able to remember them, but I’m sure you two would immediately start listing names from memory.

Maria: [slight smile] Yamada Hifumi, Maizono Sayaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Asahina Aoi.

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] Goddammit.

Ray: Makoto Naegi, Leon Kuwata, Junko Enoshima, Celestia Ludenberg.

Adrian: [squeezes frosting bag] Thanks, jackass, I got it. [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Those last two were practically cheating, though. The goth girl’s name was fake, and even I remember the name of the girl that ended the fucking world.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] Based on the order, I’m guessing you just remember those from the broadcast playing on the monitors. Or the little report card screens in the cafeteria.

Ray: I can do hard mode, if you want. Ikusaba Mukuro, Owada Daiya, Yasuhiro Taeko.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [wide-eyed] …Fuck. How do you remember this shit?

Ray: I’m a narrator. I memorize scripts all the time. Plus, I’m just good with names in general.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Right. Well, if you two are done showing off your spectacular name recalling abilities, I think it’s my turn.

Maria: [confused expression] But you just said you were bad with names?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Who said anything about names? [half-assed confident smile] Oh no, I mean I’m gonna show off the one thing I can. How would you like to see the Ultimate Fucking Cake Decorator decorate a fucking cake?

**Without waiting for a reply Adrian took a step to the side, revealing a rather large three tiered cake he had somehow been concealing behind his tiny frame.**

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] I assume that’s what you’ve been hogging the oven for?

Adrian: [half-assed confident smile] Behold, my canvas! The cake itself is a pretty generic vanilla flavor, assuming I didn’t fuck up the recipe too badly, but when I’m done with it eating it will be a waste. Also, possibly fatal.

Ray: Why make so much of it if nobody’s going to eat it?

Adrian: [half-assed confident smile] Allow me to demonstrate.

**Adrian turned to the cake, brandishing his frosting bag in an unusually confident manner. He took a moment to line it up against the top tier and then, in a single rapid motion, covered the entire cake in a perfectly even layer of frosting. Three more swipes put a flair on the edges of each tier. A change in the cap and a few more swipes added texture to the frosting, along with amazingly intricate designs around the sides.**

Adrian: [confident grin] Perfect.

Ray: How the hell did you do that with just that bag?

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] ‘Ultimate Cake Decorator’, anyone? [taps head with frosting bag] Seriously, though, mainly practice. I’m used to having an actual variety of tools, but I’ve still got all the caps for this thing and they do the job. [twists cap of frosting bag] I’m not quite done yet. I need another color for this next part, but I only have the one bag. I’ll be a minute, since there’s no quick way to clear one of these fucking things.

**As Adrian turned away to clean the bag, I turned to Maria to converse.**

Ray: So how’s your cooking coming along?

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] Now that Adrian’s done with the oven I can finally make some food. I’ve got a ham in there, like Jacob said, and I think there’s enough time between now and when we’re actually going to start for me to make this turkey over here. [looks off to the side] Jacob already made some stuffing for it, somehow. He can work magic with a stovetop.

**I should probably stop asking about all this food, because I’m starting to get really hungry.**

Ray: So we have ham, turkey, cake, soup, pastries, fish, and God knows what else. Is there anything you guys didn’t cook?

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] We don’t have any human yet. [slight smile] Unless you’re willing to volunteer a limb or two?

Ray: I think I’ll pass.

Maria: [laughs slightly] Your loss. Or not, actually, since you’d only lose something if you said yes.

**What is it with all the cannibalism jokes directed at me? Do I really look that delicious?**

Adrian: [half-assed confident smile] I have returned with more frosting.

**Adrian’s frosting bag was much less full than earlier, and the small amount inside was red instead of the usual white.**

Adrian: [half-assed confident smile] Time to finish this fucking thing.

**Without much fanfare, Adrian added one more design on each tier, managing to use the exact amount in his bag. He then filled it back up with more white frosting, apparently solely so he could fidget with it in his usual manner.**

Adrian: [confident grin] Considering what I’ve had to work with, I’m pretty satisfied with this. Come on, take a closer look.

**We did just that, taking in the impressive designs he’d managed to work into plain white frosting. It had ended up looking like a small wedding cake, with one particular exception.**

Ray: You seriously have no confidence in yourself, do you?

Adrian: [half-assed smile] Oh? What gave it away?

**I indicated the cake. With his last few motions he had written ‘THE ULTIMATE SHITTYCAKE’ in red, each word on a different tier.**

Maria: [confused expression] Why did you make ‘SHITTYCAKE’ one word?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] I was just going to write ‘THE ULTIMATE CAKE’, but it would look weird if the longest word was on the middle tier instead of the bottom one, and it would look lopsided if I left them separate when they aren’t the same length. Thus, ‘SHITTYCAKE’. [bored expression] Just trust me on this, dude.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. The rest of the people in here need to get back to their cooking. Wanna help me lug this thing over to the Green Room?

Ray: Not really. But I’ll do it anyway.

**Before picking it up Adrian put a cover over it so people wouldn’t see it before the party actually started. We then balanced its tray between us and lugged it through the hallway into the Green Room, setting it down on a table that had been set up to hold food.**

**Brittany walked up to the two of us just as we finished.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] Hey, you made a cake for us! Can I see?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Depends, has the party actually started yet?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] We were planning on starting it about now, but something’s missing. Namely, a speaker.

Ray: Eric and Autumn are pretty loud; do they really need speakers?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [unsure smile] According to April the acoustics of this room aren’t designed with projecting sound in mind, since it’s a studio. We thought we could use the pair of speakers that were in the second storeroom, but one of them seems to have gone missing.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Can’t you just lend them yours?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Adrian] That’s a great idea, actually! Thanks, Adrian! [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] It might not be as strong as the professional grade ones, but it should still work fine.

Ray: So, does that mean we’re starting the party now?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [nods vigorously] We should be all set! I’ve been informed that Jacob and Maria are still cooking, but there’s plenty of time for that. I’ll just tell them to bring it out as they finish. That way we’ll have fresh food coming in as the party goes on. [clasps hands] Ooh! This is going to be so fun! [leaves]

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] Is she ever going to stop smiling?

Ray: Honestly? I don’t think anything would make her stop.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Even if someone got murdered?

Ray: Alright there Sunshine, settle down. We’re trying to be optimistic here.

Adrian: [scoffs] Yeah, yeah, I get it. Gotta have ‘Hope’ and all that shit. [taps head with frosting bag] How about we go tell everybody the party’s starting and _hope_ they come?

Ray: Pretty sure that’s not how hope works, but that’s a good idea regardless.

**Adrian and I split up to search for the others, who had somehow managed to isolate themselves in this tiny-ass building. Veronica and John passed by me in the hall, having apparently been informed by Brittany. Recalling a promise I’d made earlier I made my way over to Emily’s room.**

Emily: [helmet down] [neutral expression] Party startin’?

Ray: Yeah. There’s all kinds of food and stuff.

Emily: [neutral expression] Cool.

Ray: Yeah, uh… still feeling shitty?

Emily: [neutral expression] Mhmm.

Ray: Ah.

Emily: [neutral expression] What the party’s for, eh?

Ray: Right. Yeah.

**Aaand there goes all the confidence I had that this party was going to help. Awesome. Who needs confidence, anyway?**

Emily: [uncertain expression] Hey. Don’t let me get you down. You’re not responsible for me; I am.

Ray: I know. You’re, uh, not the first person to say that to me.

Emily: [holds up hand] Look, this party’s for all of us, alright? Not just me. Just ‘cause I’m worse off here than you doesn’t mean you don’t need it as much as I do. So let’s all try to enjoy ourselves, alright?

Ray: I’m not sure I needed the pep talk, but I appreciate it anyway.

Emily: [toothy smile] Been workin’ on it since our last chat. Only fair that I return the favor.

**We headed back to the Green Room, where I was surprised to find everyone already gathered, with the exception of the two chefs.**

Ray: You guys got here fast.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] While you two were having your billionth heart-to-heart Brittany and I were grabbing everyone from the, like, four entire places they were gathered.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] I’m not sure why Autumn keeps complaining that it’s hard to find people in here. We’re not exactly spread out.

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] …I’m just having some off days, is all.

Eric: [rubs chin] Did we ever manage to find that speaker, by the way?

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Eric] No, but we did find a solution!

**Brittany unclipped her speaker from her shirt and took off her backpack, then passed both of them over to Eric.**

Eric: [rubs chin] I understand the speaker, but the bag?

Brittany: [snaps] [points up] My battery pack’s in there, along with a few other things! You need it to power the speaker. You can stick it in one of your suit pockets instead, if you prefer.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Thank you, Madam! I will treat it with utmost care!

Brittany: [clasps hands] Now that that’s all settled, I think it’s time we finally get this party started!

**Everyone within earshot dispersed pretty much immediately at her declaration. I expected Autumn and Eric to head up on stage, but evidently they weren’t starting their performance quite yet.**

**The motive won’t be expiring for another few hours, so there’s plenty of time for me to talk to someone at this party.**

**FREE TIME START!**

**I glanced around the room, looking for someone who didn’t already have a conversation partner. Madeline and April were chatting over some food, as were Caleb, John and Veronica. Brittany was talking to Phoebe, who was craning her head way back to maintain eye contact with the taller girl. Autumn and Eric were pestering Adrian about something, while Ryan, Will and Emily seemed content to quietly sit in a corner.**

**I was about to see if one of those three would be willing to talk when Maria walked into the room, carrying a glazed ham. I expected her to leave right after she set it down, but to my surprise she took a seat at a table nearby and let out a sigh. Curious, I walked over to chat.**

Maria: [flails arms wildly] [panicked expression] GAH- FUCK! Ray! Hi! [hands over heart] [panicked breathing] Man, I’m too tired right now. I’ve been standing next to hot ovens all day and I need a break.

 

**Should I spend some time with Maria?**

**Yes** / No

 

Maria: [hands over heart] [slight smile] Yeah, sure, I can talk. That turkey’s going to be cooking for a while yet.

**Before we actually started talking I grabbed the both of us a plate of food, making sure to grab little enough to leave room for the upcoming turkey. Much like last time our conversation drifted to food and nutrition, but she seemed to have fewer things to say this time around. Eventually we started talking about the party, since neither of us had actually been to one before. All-in-all, it was a pleasant chat over some delicious food.**

**I feel like Maria and I grew closer today.**

Ray: So, I’ve got to ask, just how prepared were you, ultimately? No pun intended.

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] I assume you mean for Doomsday and not for, like, my last math exam or something.

Ray: You’d be right.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] I was about as prepared as you’d expect from me, probably. I had a bunch of pre-built shelters in various places, from nearby forests to half-forgotten buildings, all stocked with at least a few days’ worth of supplies, and at least some sustainable way to renew it. My main thing was the old bomb shelter behind my house. Those things are about as versatile as you’d expect.

Maria: [bites her lip] I had a bunch of shelters for both redundancy and because I had no real way of knowing how the world was going to end when it did. [looks off to the side] _If_ it did, I should say, but I already explained that I wasn’t really thinking in _ifs_.

Ray: That sounds surprisingly… generic, if that’s the right word?

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] No, you’re right. Since I had no way of knowing the specifics, I had to go with pretty generic setups. Regardless of the circumstances, there’s always a few essentials that you need: food, clean water, enough toilet paper to noticeably reduce the density of the Amazon rainforest. Things like that.

Ray: Seriously?

Maria: [looks off to the side] Maybe? I tried looking up how toilet paper was made, once, but it’s to industrial to be practical on a small scale. So I scrapped the idea.

Ray: That sounds like standard disaster preparedness stuff. Your title implies that you went well beyond the norm. I assumed you had detailed plans for any hypothetical scenario.

Maria: [slight smile] Well, I do. I had a plan for the way it actually happened, too. [bites her lip] Well, sort of. I didn’t have a plan _specifically_ for if a Japanese teenager spread despair around the world using the face of a monochrome bear as her mascot. I would need to be a different kind of crazy to think of that. But I had one for the spread of a self-destructive worldwide ideology. I had contingencies for the pointless wars, the mass air pollution, even for the massive riots of shitty cosplayers.

Ray: Specifically rioting cosplayers?

Maria: [serious expression] If they’re rioting under a shared ideology then it stands to reason they’d demonstrate their uniformity with literal uniforms. And if they pick masks that both limit their vision and highlight their position with glowing red eyes, that just makes it easier to slip by them undetected.

Ray: When you put it like that it makes it sound like we got an easy apocalypse.

Maria: [slight smile] We did, relatively. An ideological apocalypse is something that even the common man can have a good grasp on. Avoiding danger, beyond common sense things like ‘run from the angry guys with knives’, is just like with a plague; you just have to watch for the _disease_ and the _transmission vector_.

Maria: [serious expression] In this case the disease is despair, and the transmission vector is communication. Communication is an unreliable vector for simple ideas, so something as complex as despair has a particularly hard time. And unless it’s coming from an active source, like one of the Ultimate Despairs or Enoshima herself, it’s actually got a fairly high recovery rate. Plus, just like a normal plague, there’s the idea of a _cure_ with its own transmission vector!

Maria: [slight smile] And that cure is the key, because we both know what it is.

**…Wait, does she actually want me to say something here? She seemed like she was on a roll there, but she’s just looking at me now. I guess she wants me to say it? It’s pretty obvious what the ‘cure’ she’s talking about is. What she means is…**

Impromptu lobotomies / Pictures of adorable animals / Hope, obviously

 

**Answer: Hope, obviously**

Ray: Hope, obviously.

Maria: [slight smile] Right! Hope being the cure is what makes things easier for us. Think about it, what’s the transmission vector for hope? People. And the vector for despair? People. The cure to the plague can be spread _with_ the plague! And hope is easier: people hope pretty much by default! Despair takes effort: it requires a constant supply. That’s why Enoshima staged the initial killing game: to act as a new vector. But in the end, it did the opposite. Because no matter what she set up, no matter how many new vectors she established, hope could spread through _all of them_!

Ray: Her plan was fucked from the start.

Maria: [bites her lip] I wouldn’t say _that_. She won in the end. She died getting exactly what she wanted. It’s more like her plan was only ever supposed to be temporary. [puts hands in pockets] She could end the world, but nothing she could do would make it stay that way.

Ray: We did manage to rebuild enough for this worldwide project in just a few years. That’s amazing, all things considered.

Maria: [looks off to the side] The relatively small timespan between the end of the world and now is both a good and a bad thing. It’s good because we’ve made so much progress so fast. And it’s bad because it means even after she’s gone she still has enough influence to do something like this.

Ray: But that’s why we have to stop it, right? The world will fix itself, sooner or later, but we’re the ones who have to deal with it now. This game is just another one of her plans, another vector. Her disease is still spreading, but that means we have to be the cure.

Maria: [slight smile] Exactly.

**Around there was when the turkey finished cooking, so Maria ran off to take care of that. Meanwhile, I certainly felt that my mood had improved from the interaction.**

**We ended up going off topic a little bit into that conversation, but in a good way. The end of the world is such an absurd concept that it can be impossible to properly understand, but we have to understand it if we want to be able to do anything about it. That understanding is one of the things that makes her the Ultimate Doomsday Prepper, I suppose.**

**I think I understand Maria a little better now.**

**FREE TIME END**

**I glanced up at the clock. 8:30. The deadline for the motive was only two hours away. As far as I could tell, everybody was still alive. Jacob and Maria weren’t in the room, so they could be dead. But Maria was alive thirty seconds ago when we finished talking, and Phoebe’s been popping in and out with fresh food the whole time, so Jacob’s probably fine too.**

Brittany: Attention, everyone!

**It took me a moment to register that Brittany’s voice was coming through her speaker, which she didn’t have. I turned toward the stage to check something, and was immediately proven correct.**

Eric: [Brittany’s voice] [speaks into microphone] The show is about to start, so can everyone please come to the Green Glass Room? This includes our fabulous chefs, so if someone could please volunteer to retrieve them?

Phoebe: [raises hand] I’ll do it! They’re expecting me, anyway.

**She ran off in the direction of the cafeteria, and within a minute or two she was back with Maria, Jacob and a turkey in tow.**

Eric: [Brittany’s voice] [speaks into microphone] Now that everyone’s here, let’s get started! Introducing the comedic stylings of… Eric Decker and Autumn Rowe!

**A spotlight popped on over Autumn, making the irritated look she was shooting Eric more obvious. I got the impression they’d been arguing over who would be introduced first.**

**The lights dimmed in the room. I glanced over at the Control Room, since anyone who could be controlling the lights was currently in the Green Room, and saw Monokuma, of all people, at the controls.**

**I’ll have to ask Autumn and Eric how they managed to get him to agree to _that_ later.**

**Autumn and Eric began their routine, setting up punchlines, doing goofy impressions of the rest of us, and various other things that qualified as comedy. It was, if anything, a bit underwhelming. It wasn’t exactly _bad_ per se, quite the opposite actually, but they’d clearly been strapped for time. I ended up zoning it out a little ways in.**

**That’s a plausible enough reason to avoid showing the routine, right? Would a half-assed fourth wall breaking joke about the author not being clever enough to write it help? Eh, that’s probably a bad idea.**

**Err, wait, no- _fuck_.**

**I scanned the room for something to occupy myself and ended up noticing Emily giving Adrian’s cake a strange look. Curious, I walked over.**

Emily: [neutral expression] It is a pretty nice cake.

Ray: I wouldn’t recommend eating it. Adrian’s a decorator, not a baker. It’ll probably kill you.

Emily: [neutral expression] Maybe I’ll try some of it, then. Spare the rest of us this motive.

**I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.**

Emily: [uncertain expression] Sorry. Too dark?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] I’m all for gallows humor, but now’s really not the time.

**Adrian had been sitting right behind us, hidden in the dim light.**

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] I mean, you do realize that if you die from eating that cake the bear would absolutely count that as my fault, right?

Emily: [shrugs] Honestly hadn’t occurred to me.

Adrian: [twists cap of frosting bag] Plus, if you did die in the next couple hours, he’d be getting exactly what he wants.

Emily: [confused stare] What?

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] The motives in the first game were designed to play to certain things. It’s gonna be the same here. He’s forcing us to find something to die for. If someone kills, willing to die because of it, then they won’t cover themselves properly. They’ll be found, and executed, and the game will go on. He wouldn’t give us this motive if he wanted the game to end. This is the kind of thing you do to make the game _start_.

**Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ryan stand up from his seat. He took a few steps toward the table where April and Madeline were sitting, then stopped.**

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Like that. Ryan’s been acting weird since the motive came out. Remember yesterday, when it was his turn to speak?

 

[[flashback]]

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] It’s fine. You yourself said that you didn’t have to share if you didn’t want to.

Ryan: [agitated expression] Since you mentioned it, I might as well say that I won’t be fucking sharing.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Another one for the indecisive pile?

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] I know what’s fucking important to me! I’m just not going to go around announcing it in this goddamn shithole!

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tries to keep smiling] It’s fine, you don’t have to share. It would be nice if you could avoid shouting at us, though.

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] Yeah, fine, what the fuck ever.

**That’s weird. Normally he’d stop to breathe, but he seems to be content with staying angry. I wonder what’s so bad about his important thing?**

[[end flashback]]

 

Adrian: [serious expression] And now look at him. Watch that hesitation. He’s trying to get one of them alone before the motive expires, because whatever his most important thing is, he’s willing to kill for it. And he’s heading over there in plain view of everybody here, because he’s just as willing to die for it. [taps head with frosting bag] You’ve gotta pay attention to shit like this, because this is the stuff that decides if we live or die.

**Ryan took a few more steps before stopping again. He gripped his chest, and looked to be taking a deep breath.**

**Something occurred to me.**

[[flashback]]

**Ryan walked over to where April was in a huff, though his huff seemed to be slightly less huffy than usual.**

Ray: Ryan seems to be in a good mood.

Eric: [poses dramatically] One tends to be when they converse with the object of their affections.

Ray: With his what now?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Turns out April knows how to pick her crushes, ‘cause Ryan there has one right back!

Eric: [smug smile] He’s been shooting glances at Miss Collins since she walked in the room. I’m frankly amazed she hasn’t noticed, considering his general lack of subtlety.

[[end flashback]]

 

Ray: You’re wrong.

Adrian: [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Oh?

Ray: He’s not hesitating because he’s trying to kill them. It’s because he’s embarrassed. He’s trying to ask her out.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] [wide-eyed] …The fuck?

Ray: I’m serious. He’s been glancing at her all day, and I personally saw his mood improve when he went to talk to her.

Adrian: [shakes his head] …Heheh. You’re one optimistic motherfucker, you know that?

Ray: I’d say I’m more of a realist. I know what I saw, and I’m drawing a logical conclusion.

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] Then I’m a realist, too. I know what _I_ saw, and my conclusion is just as logical.

Ray: In that case, I hope that I’m right and you’re wrong.

Adrian: [confident grin] For what it’s worth, Ray, I really do hope you’re right.

Ray: Didn’t you say that before, too? I thought you were a pessimist?

Adrian: [half-assed smile] How does the saying go? ‘Expect the worst, but hope for the best’?

**He glanced up at the clock.**

Adrian: [idly swings frosting bag] With that in mind, I think I’m gonna fuck off back to the safety of my room. It’s getting late and I’d rather not risk being out here when the motive expires.

Ray: It expires at about 10:30, so you’ve got almost an hour.

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] I’d rather just sleep early, dude. Better safe than sorry, you know?

Ray: Alright. See you later.

Adrian: [half-assed smile] Yeah, yeah. See ya. [leaves]

Emily: [unsure expression] I think I’ll head to my room too.

**She was so quiet I’d forgotten she was here.**

Ray: You sure?

Emily: [toothy smile] Yeah. Honestly? Hearin’ you guys talk about what Monokuma’s tryin’ to do? I’m startin’ to think I can let this motive pass, just so I can watch him fail. I’m not lettin’ him have power over me.

Ray: Shit, now I want to see that, too. If he wants despair, he’s not getting it from us.

Emily: [toothy smile] See ya. [leaves]

**Suddenly there was nobody around, but I was feeling better than I’d felt all day. I stood up, grabbed some of the turkey Maria had made, and looked around for a good seat to watch the show.**

**There was plenty of spaces to sit, since we had way more chairs than people, but I decided to take a seat next to Caleb, since I had yet to really talk to the guy since I met him.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] Howdy, Ray. You seem to be in high spirits.

Ray: I’m feeling pretty hopeful at the moment. I see why the tiny hope kid likes it so much.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [grins] Good to hear someone’s havin’ a good day. Takes the edge off the wait.

**Caleb and I made occasional conversation as Autumn and Eric continued to perform. Either their jokes got funnier or I’d been feeling worse than I thought earlier, because I found myself laughing more often. Time seemed to pass quicker too, and I just barely heard the nighttime announcement go off in the background at some point.**

**Eventually the performance finished, and the two comedians took a bow. Caleb and I gave a round of applause, but nobody else was clapping. I tried to find out why, and finally noticed that everyone else had left the room. It was just the four of us left.**

Caleb: [tips hat down] Apologies on behalf of everyone else, apparently they don’t appreciate a good laugh.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Oh, it’s fine. We started losing steam when the announcement went off, so we may have gone off-script a bit.

Eric: [poses dramatically] Ultimate talent does not imply ultimate stamina, and that was indeed a very long show! [pounds chest with fist] Howev- OW!

Ray: Eric?!

Eric: [holds hand against chest, pained] What in the-? Oh!

**Eric grabbed something dangling from his chest: a room key. Brittany’s, to be precise, since it was still hanging off of the speaker she’d lent him.**

Eric: [adjusts tie uncomfortably] Eh-heh, I appear to have punched this key into my chest. I’m quite fine, though it was rather painful.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] We should go get that back to her.

Eric: [rubs chin] You’re quite right. [poses dramatically] Good night, my friends! We shall be off!

**The two of them left toward the Control Room, for some reason. Leaving Caleb and I alone.**

Caleb: [tips hat down] We should get some shut eye, partner. We’re past this motive, but I’m sure Monokuma will have more for us tomorrow.

Ray: Good idea.

**I glanced up at the clock, having lost track of time a while ago.**

**10:20. There was still time left before the motive expired.**

**Suddenly there was a pit in my stomach. There was still time for something to happen. There was still time for me to be wrong, and Adrian to be right.**

**I needed to find Ryan. Just to be sure.**

**Without bothering to explain, I hurried out of the Green Room into the hallway, hoping to find him. His room was near the opposite end of the hall, and there were people standing in front of it. Specifically, Phoebe and Madeline. Madeline was watching as Phoebe did something with the lock. I walked up to them in a conspicuous rush.**

Ray: What’re you guys doing?

Madeline: [wipes her brow gracefully] Exactly what it looks like, dearie. Breaking into Ryan’s room.

Ray: Why?

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] Because he invited me, of course. He came up to me when April was in the powder room and asked to meet in his room at 10:15.

**That doesn’t make sense. If I was right, he should have asked April. Why would he want to talk to Madeline? Unless…**

Phoebe: Got it! It’s open!

Ray: Wait, don’t-!

Phoebe: Ah-AHHHHHH!!

**Phoebe stumbled back from the door, landing hard on her back.**

Madeline: [curious expression] Phoebe? Why are you-?

**She cut herself off and moved to the door, pushing it open to see inside.**

Madeline: [hand in front of mouth] [shocked expression] O-oh. Oh my.

Ray: What?! What is it?!

**She was apparently too stunned to speak properly, but she did step out of the doorway so I could see inside. I didn’t hesitate to do so.**

**The first thing I saw was the blood.**

**The nauseating pink filled my senses, sight and smell.**

**It was everywhere.**

**The floor was slick with it, the walls spattered, pooling in the sheets of the bed.**

**In the pool was a knife.**

**Next to it was the body.**

**Eyes wide in shock and fear, hands fruitlessly gripping his neck to stop the bleeding.**

**That was horrible state of the body that once belonged**

**to the Ultimate Cake Decorator, Adrian Strauss.**

**_Chapter 1: Monokuma Theater Presents – Studio Life of Mutual Killing: The Movie: The Game Daily Life End_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, and I was really having fun writing that guy. I feel like that's going to happen with everyone I kill. Any ideas on who has deprived the world of gloriously decorated cakes? Please speculate freely in the comments. Seriously. I love comments. And speculation. And speculation in comments.
> 
> Can you tell I wrote these notes at 2am? I certainly can.


	7. Chapter 1: Monokuma Theater Presents - Studio Life of Mutual Killing: The Movie: The Game: Deadly Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter a month was a pretty unrealistic goal during the school year anyway. The annoying thing is, I actually had this chapter mostly done as early as October, but I just couldn't find the time to write the rest of it out. I could say more, but this chapter has been in the works long enough. Instead, enjoy this incredibly delayed investigation chapter!

**_ Chapter 1 _ **

**_Monokuma Theater Presents - Studio Life of Mutual Killing: The Movie: The Game_ **

**_Deadly Life_ **

 

*Ding dong dong ding*

 

Monokuma: A body has been discovered!

Monokuma: After a certain amount of time, which you can spend doing whatever you like, our Class Trial will begin!

 

**Adrian…? This is Ryan’s room, why is his… body… here? Who could’ve- and why him?**

**I couldn’t think properly. I had too many questions, and the sight of his body was overwhelming. I stumbled back a few steps, joining Madeline in her daze.**

**I heard footsteps racing down the hall, and suddenly Caleb was standing with us.**

Caleb: [clutches hat in shock] That announcement-! What happened? Who-?

Ray: Adrian. H-he’s in there.

**Caleb moved to see inside before reeling back.**

Caleb: [clutches hat in shock] Goddamn it! What the hell happened here?!

Phoebe: [sobs heavily] He’s-he’s-Ahhhhhhh!!

**The next door over burst open and someone rushed out.**

Ryan: [shocked expression] What the fuck? You’re all right here? Where the hell’s the body?

Madeline: [hand in front of mouth] [shocked expression] Ryan? Why were you in Adrian’s room?

Ryan: [angry and confused] Adrian’s room? What? This is my room! That one’s Adrian’s!

Madeline: [curious expression] What? But I am sure I checked the nameplates…

Ryan: [angry and confused] The fuck?

**He looked at the door he was standing in front of, as did I. Adrian’s face looked back, attached to a large gold star.**

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] Is this some kind of joke?

Caleb: [tips hat downwards] [stern expression] Your nameplate is on his, too. This ain’t a joke. Someone wanted the two mixed up, and I’m willin’ to bet it’s whoever killed him.

Ryan: [concerned expression] …So the body is in there? Fuck.

**Caleb closed the door to Adrian’s room and leaned against it.**

Caleb: [tips hat downwards] [stern expression] We should wait for everyone else. They need to know.

**The five of us stood in the hallway, intently studying the floor for signs of treachery. Nobody wanted to speak, though Madeline tried to calm Phoebe down. Eventually people started to find us, all with questions about the announcement. Caleb insisted on waiting until everyone had arrived before answering.**

April: [hair over eyes] [hugs tube] [looks around uncomfortably] A-are we still waiting for s-someone?

Jacob: [neutral, yet concerned expression] It would appear Lady Yoder is absent once again, as is Sir Adrian. I would surmise that one of them is the victim, but I am unsure about the other.

Veronica: [concerned frown] Well, Caleb?

Caleb: [tips hat down] …Someone should go check Emily’s room, make sure she’s alright.

Will: [hugs his bow] [whimpers sadly] So that means that A-Adrian is…

Maria: [looks off to the side] It makes sense. This is his room.

Ray: I’ll go get her.

**I need to get away from the body, anyway.**

**It wasn’t much of a walk, since her room was right around the corner. I tried knocking a few times before remembering the rooms were soundproofed, so I switched to the doorbell. I was considering asking Phoebe for help when the door finally opened.**

Emily: [helmet down] [tries to keep face neutral] Y-yeah? Need something?

**That’s certainly not the reply I was expecting.**

Ray: Did- did you not hear the announcement?

Emily: [tries to keep face neutral] I-I did. I just… uh… [adjusts her suit] Wh-who died?

Ray: It was Adrian. He’s in his room.

Emily: [horrified expression] Adrian?! We were just talking to him!

Ray: I…I know. It’s… Look, one way or another we need to start the investigation. We could use all the help we can get.

Emily: [uncertain expression] I… don’t think I’ll be much help. Just, uh, just start without me. I’ll catch up later.

Ray: Uh, okay then. I’ll see you later, I guess.

Emily: [adjusts her suit] Yeah. See ya.

**She closed the door on me, and didn’t seem likely to open it again any time soon.**

**That was… it was a lot of things, honestly. She’s clearly out of it, but she didn’t even know who died until I told her. The announcement alone couldn’t have shaken her that badly, could it? It was almost- Well, I don’t want to say it was suspicious, but it was certainly… suspect.**

**Right, that’s a _much_ better way to put it.**

**Regardless, Emily is fine, but she’s not coming out of her room any time soon. Time to head back to everyone else.**

John: [mildly frowns] Is Emily alright?

Ray: She’s fine, but she doesn’t want to come out of her room. She said to start without her.

Eric: [rubs chin] That’s certainly rather odd of her.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Eh, what can you do? Guess some people are still squeamish around bodies even after, you know, the apocalypse. [folds arms with frown] Shouldn’t we get this investigation started, though? We’re on the clock, here.

Brittany: [snaps] [points at Autumn] You’re absolutely right, Autumn! We don’t have time for standing around! Let’s get to it!

Caleb: [tips hat down] [stern expression] Hold your horses there, partner. There’s somethin’ we’ve gotta address first.

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tilts head quizzically] What is it?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [frowns] If we go rushin’ in there all willy-nilly, then the killer could take advantage of the confusion to hide important evidence. I hope you haven’t forgotten that one of us is responsible for this?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tries to keep smiling] I remember. But what can we do about it? It’s not like the culprit’s going to sit this one out.

Veronica: [smirks] Have you tried asking nicely?

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] Someone’s dead, you airheaded pyromaniac! Now’s not the time for shitty jokes!

Veronica: [narrows eyes] Well sorry for trying to, like, lighten the fucking mood.

Caleb: [tips hat down] [stern expression] If y’all are done bitchin’, I’d like to say somethin’.

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] If it gets us closer to finding who did this then I’m all ears.

Veronica: [lights match] Yeah, whatever.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Now, until we get a time of death we can’t get too specific with this, but if I’m not mistaken Ray here was the last person to see Adrian alive. And right after that, he took a seat near me to watch the show.

Ray: I think I see what you’re getting at.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Durin’ that time, Autumn and Eric never left the stage. So the four of us, between the time Adrian left and when his body was found, never left the Green Room. We’ve got airtight alibis.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] The rest of us all left, so any of us could have done it.

Caleb: [holds out hand] Exactly. That’s why I’m officially deputizin’ Ray, Autumn and Eric. The four of us will lead this investigation, and stop anyone from tamperin’ with any evidence. Can we all agree to that?

**There was a general murmuring of agreement.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] Good. I’ll stand guard in Adrian’s room. Eric, you’re in charge of the Green Room and the storerooms. Ray and Autumn, you two find and record all the evidence you can. We need to be fully prepared for the trial.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] You can count on me, my friend!

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] We’ve got this, right Ray?

Ray: It’s our lives on the line. We don’t have much of a choice. But yeah, we can do this.

**…I hope.**

 

**INVESTIGATION START!**

 

Jacob: [neutral, yet thoughtful expression] Before we all disperse, might I suggest that someone perform a rudimentary autopsy on the body? It is an unpleasant thought, but we need information about the state of the deceased.

John: [holds out hand] I’ll do it. I probably know more about this than most of you.

Ray: You do?

John: [nods slightly] Yeah, I do. [raises eyebrow] Is that alright with you, Caleb?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [raises eyebrow] …If you think you’re qualified, then be my guest. [stern expression] But if I see you tryin’ to cover anythin’ up-

John: [polite smile] I won’t. I’m innocent, so my interests are in getting this killer executed. The other option is unpleasant.

Caleb: [bewildered expression] …Alrighty then. Best of luck.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Speaking of autopsies, didn’t the guys in the broadcast get some kind of coroner’s report from Monokuma? Do we not get one of those?

Monokuma: [appears] [turns to show white side, acting bashful] Did somebody call for their producer?

Ryan: [balls hand into fist] [bares teeth] Unless you’re here to do something useful, you can fuck right off! This is your goddamn fault!

Monokuma: [giggles to himself] Puhuhuhu~! Oh, I don’t think you’re giving the blackened enough credit! I was so proud of them for getting this level of complexity so soon! [satisfied look] You really were paying attention to the broadcast, weren’t you?

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] Are you gonna give us the thing or not?

Monokuma: [miffed expression] So impatient! I haven’t even had a chance to rub in the fact that one of you kicked the bucket!

**We’ve been standing here for a while. You’ve had plenty of opportunities.**

Will: [scratches neck] I don’t think it would even work, now. The shock has kind of worn off at this point.

**I don’t think the tone has lightened enough for that joke to come back, Will. Try again later.**

Veronica: [glances away from flame] …?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] The tragic punchline should’ve come ages ago. You need to work on your comedic timing if you wanna make it in the Monokuma industry. It’s a tough market; lots of competition!

Monokuma: [sweats nervously] But what if I can’t make it? What if I’m not good enough to be a star?

Autumn: [wide smile with arms spread] Don’t worry, pal, I believe in you! You’re going places!

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] Aw, shucks! Thanks, Autumn! You’re the best!

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] I’m kidding, of course. You’re a complete failure in every way. Please go die in a fire. Again.

Veronica: [points with lit match] You called?

Monokuma: [looks down sadly] Kids are so cruel these days. And after all the time I spent making the best Monokuma Files I could…

**There was a beeping sound from our eHandbooks. I pulled mine out to find a new tab labeled ‘Monokuma Files’ had appeared.**

Monokuma: [looks down sadly] It’s… the Monokuma Fiiile… [leaves]

Ray: He seemed to take that pretty hard.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Do you really care?

Ray: No. I was congratulating you.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Aw, thanks! [folds arms with friendly smile] We should take a look at that file now.

**I nodded in agreement and selected the tab. It opened another page with a list that contained only ‘Monokuma File #1’. I tried to ignore the several empty spaces and the implication that there would be more of them and opened the file.**

Ray: The victim’s name was Adrian Strauss. His body was found lying on the bed in his room around 10:20 pm. Estimated time of death is 9:45 pm. There is a single puncture wound through the victim’s neck that resulted in death via blood loss. Aside from that, the body has no other external injuries, and no chemicals such as poison were detected.

Ray: …And that’s everything it says.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Hmm… That was pretty informative. If I remember the broadcast correctly, Monokuma tends to leave out information that would make the killer too obvious, so most of that probably won’t be much help. [exaggerated shrug] More information is better than less, I suppose.

Ray: Yeah…

**9:45 pm… That’s only about 15 minutes after I last saw him. If he’d stayed just a few minutes longer, would he still be alive…? Dammit, I shouldn’t think like that…**

[[“Monokuma File #1” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook]]

 

**Still though, only 15 minutes? That’s not a lot of time for the killer to have made a plan after he went to his room. And the body was discovered not too long after. They must have made some mistakes, and I’m going to find them.**

**Everyone had dispersed to carry out their own investigations, leaving Autumn and I alone in the hall with Madeline and Phoebe. I knew that their testimony would be important, since they were the others that discovered the body, but Phoebe still hadn’t quite calmed down. I decided to check the crime scene first, and Autumn seemed to agree.**

**I mentally prepared myself for the sight, and opened the door to Adrian’s room.**

**It wasn’t any more pleasant the second time, but I managed to keep my composure.**

**It probably helped that there were several living people in the room as well. A surprising number, actually, given the room’s rather small size.**

 

*squick*

 

**Oh God the floor is squishy.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [grimaces] Careful there. The carpet’s a bit, uh, wet.

Autumn: [distressed] Ooohhh, I really wish I was wearing shoes right now.

Ray: …You aren’t wearing shoes?

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Do these look like shoes to you?

**I have not looked at anyone’s feet this entire time, now that I think about it. I don’t know what shoes _anyone_ is or isn’t wearing.**

**Vaguely curious, I glanced at her feet. She was wearing sandals, with socks. Somehow, that feels appropriate for her.**

**More importantly, though, walking on the blood-soaked carpet had caused small pink stains on her socks, along with making her leave bloody footprints. A check of my own surprisingly comfortable dress shoes confirmed that I was leaving footprints as well.**

Ray: Hey, were there any footprints in the hallway?

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] You mean from the blood? I think there were, actually. They stopped right outside though.

Ray: We should check those. The killer’s should be there.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Good idea!

**We had only taken a few steps into the room, so I was able to check the hallway by just turning around.**

**…How did I miss these before? There were a few distinct sets of bloody footprints, four or five maybe. I leaned down to get a closer look, hoping I could identify who each belonged to.**

**The first set looked familiar, and a quick test with my own foot proved they were mine. I must’ve left them when I found the body.**

**The second set had been clearly left by a pair of heels, and led to where Madeline was still standing. It’s safe to assume they’re hers.**

**The third were small sneaker prints, and also clearly led to Phoebe.**

**The fourth were large prints, from a boot. They led inside the room, but not away. Nobody but Caleb could have left them.**

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] That’s it? Only those four sets?

Ray: Yeah. They’re all pretty clear, too. So nobody accidentally covered another set with their own. But all these prints make sense, since we’re the ones that found the body.

Autumn: [glances to the side] [slight frown] Do you think the killer cleaned it up before we got here?

Ray: Maybe…

 

[[“Bloody Footprints” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**We turned back toward the scene. Ryan was standing nearby us, conspicuously trying to avoid looking at the body.**

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] Fucking hell, look at this shit. If that file is accurate, this was happening right next door to me and I didn’t notice.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] It’s not like you could’ve. This building is completely soundproofed. A bomb could go off in one room and their neighbor wouldn’t hear it.

Ryan: [concerned expression] I get that, but I still should’ve noticed something when I popped my head out earlier.

Ray: You checked the hallway, you mean? What for?

Ryan: [concerned expression] Okay, so, I went back to my room just a bit after 9:30, while the show was still going on. A little bit later I thought I heard someone fucking around with my door handle, but when I checked nobody was there. [rubs shoulder] I figured it was just Madeline coming a bit early and changing her mind, but now I’m not too sure.

Ray: When was this?

Ryan: [folds arms] The nighttime announcement had just ended, so it must’ve been 10.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] And you didn’t see anything at all? Some bloody footprints in front of your neighbor’s door, for example?

Ryan: [annoyed expression] No! I glanced around, and there wasn’t anything or anyone there. [concerned expression] I mean, I didn’t leave my door or anything, so they could’ve just been hiding around the corner or something, I don’t fucking know. Point is, I heard a noise at 10 and didn’t see jack shit. No killer, no blood, nothing.

Ray: That’s fine. It’s still something to go on. Thanks for the info.

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] I hope it fucking helps.

 

[[“Ryan’s Account” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**I started to approach the body, not seeing anything else that seemed worth investigating, but I stopped when I was near Jacob. He was looking around the room with his usual expression, but seemed to be thinking about something.**

Ray: Notice anything, Jacob?

Jacob: [neutral, yet thoughtful expression] Indeed, Sir Glenshaw. I have noticed something that I believe could be vital to this case.

Ray: Vital? Well then I’d like to hear it, if you could.

Jacob: [neutral, yet proud expression] Verily. It has come to my attention that this room is absolutely covered in blood. There is not a single surface that lacks it. It is quite likely that this happened during the murder.

Ray: …That’s it?

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] Indeed.

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] I don’t think that’s as helpful as you think it is.

Jacob: [neutral, yet surprised expression] You do not think so?

Ray: I mean, it’s not exactly _wrong_ , per se, but it doesn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know.

Jacob: [neutral, yet curious expression] Then I must assume you have discovered which of us is covered in blood without my knowledge.

Ray: …What?

Jacob: [neutral, yet thoughtful expression] Is it not obvious? If the room was so thoroughly spattered with blood during the murder, then the murderer themselves must have been spattered as well. [neutral, yet concerned expression] And yet, when we were assembled in the hall I did not detect a trace of blood on anyone but the four who discovered the body.

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] That’s a lot more important than you made it sound a second ago! Are you sure about that?

Jacob: [neutral, yet reassuring expression] I am, Lady Rowe. I may not be a blood spatter analyst, or a serial killer for that matter, but I am a butler. [neutral, yet proud expression] And any butler worth their title can spot a stain a kilometer away!

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] I can also assist in removing the bloodstains from your socks, should we survive this trial.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] I was just gonna burn ‘em later, but I like your idea better!

**Sock cleaning aside, Jacob makes a good point. If the killer was in this room, they must have gotten blood on themselves. But he didn’t see blood on anyone. Given the restrictive timeframe of this murder, they might not have had time to clean the blood off. Maybe they’re just hiding it?**

[[“Amount of Blood” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

[[“Blood-free Clothing” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**I thanked Jacob for the information and turned back toward the body. John, Brittany and Caleb were near the body, and John specifically was performing an autopsy. Caleb was watching him for suspicious activity, but Brittany was staring at the body with a faltering smile.**

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tries to keep smiling] One of us actually did this, didn’t they? Even after I got everyone to share their most important thing?

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Turns out people really care about their most important things. Who knew?

Brittany: [hands on hips] [tries to keep smiling] It was never going to work, was it? The idea was stupid. I shouldn’t have even bothered trying. [stops smiling] Ah! [covers mouth with hands] Don’t look!

**It was only for a second, but Brittany looked like a completely different person when she dropped the smile. It was both unsettling and disheartening to see.**

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Oh, wow! I didn’t even know you _could_ stop smiling!

Brittany: [covers mouth with hands] I don’t know what you’re talking about, Autumn! I’m just a bit thirsty. I need some water, is all.

**Brittany started digging around her backpack and pulled out a bottle of water.**

Brittany: [drinks from water bottle] ……

**…Wait a second.**

Ray: When did you get your backpack back?

Brittany: [swishes water bottle] Hmm? Oh, just a few minutes ago. Apparently Eric took the battery pack out and just left it near the stage. The announcement went off right as I picked it up, actually. [unsure smile] It took me a minute to figure out the body was over here, though. [tries to keep smiling] … [drinks from water bottle]

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] If it’s relevant, that should’ve been right after Eric and I gave her the speaker back. [folds arms with frown] It’s a bit silly that you just handed him your room key like that, you know.

Brittany: [swishes water bottle] [unsure smile] I was so excited at finding a solution for the speaker problem that I didn’t even notice. It sure took me off guard when I tried to head back to my room during the show. [snaps] [points at Autumn] It’s a good thing you got that back to me when you did! I’ve been locked out of my room the whole night!

**She was locked out of her room? That’s bound to be important.**

 

[[“Brittany’s Key” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**I turned toward John.**

Ray: Find out anything about the body?

John: [mildly frowns] I only just started, so nothing yet. There’s a couple things of note around here, though. Try checking those. [holds out hand] I’m not trained in medicine or anything, so what little I can find should be ready in just a few minutes.

Ray: Alright.

**I left him alone and scanned the area around the body. One thing in particular caught my attention.**

Ray: What do you wanna bet that this knife is the murder weapon?

Autumn: [fold arms with curled lip] Gee, Ray, I dunno. There’s lots of reasons for a knife to be sitting on a bed, covered in blood, next to a body. I think you’re assuming a lot here.

Ray: Your sarcasm is noted and unappreciated.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] It’s what I’m here for!

John: [neutral expression] Before you ask, I’ve measured. It’s just about the right size and shape for the wound. [mildly frowns] It’s a bit off, but stabbing is an inexact art, and necks are rather easy to deform.

**That last mildly creepy comment aside, this knife is clearly the murder weapon. The knife is serrated, and I remember seeing a few serrated knives just like it in the kitchen, so the killer probably got it there.**

 

[[“Kitchen Knife” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**The knife wasn’t the only thing in the immediate area, just the most obvious. With that noted as evidence, my eye was drawn to the nightstand next to Adrian’s bed. Like most things in the room it was covered in blood, as was the frosting bag resting on it.**

**Unusually, the bag was completely devoid of frosting, and there was blood staining even the inside. There was also a strip of tape over one side. I picked it up, trying not to think about the blood that got on my hands in doing so, and peeled the tape back.**

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Looks like he managed to put a hole in it.

Ray: With what? I don’t see anything in here that could make a hole like this.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Maybe it was already like that and we just didn’t notice?

Ray: I don’t think so. Remember what he said yesterday?

 

[[flashback]]

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] Seriously, the most important thing I have left is this bag of fucking frosting, since I’ve managed to keep it from rupturing once over the past few years of apocalypse. I honestly don’t care that much, but I’d probably feel disappointed if it was destroyed? It would certainly make decorating cakes harder, for what it’s worth.

[[end flashback]]

 

Ray: He said it has never ruptured, even after the world ended.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] So it must’ve happened during the murder. But what for? He may have been able to work wonders with frosting, but not even he could use it as a weapon, so there’s no reason to break it. And if the killer did put a hole in it, why fix it up afterwards?

Ray: I… don’t know. It’s a pretty specific thing to do.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Well, we’re not going to figure it out by staring at it. [holds up notepad] I’ll make a note to figure it out during the trial.

 

[[“Damaged Frosting Bag” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**Wait a second, something else is off about this.**

Ray: Where’s his key?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] In his pocket, probably?

John: [neutral expression] Nope. I checked his pockets. All empty.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Huh? Then where did it- [shocked, with hand near face] Oh, that’s right! He had it on his bag, didn’t he?

 

[[flashback]]

Adrian: [shakes his head] Nah, it’s fine. The noise isn’t bothering me, it’s just weird. [twists cap of frosting bag] Actually, you know what? I’m hip. I’m happening. Fuck it, why not?

**Adrian pulled his room key out and somehow attached it to the cap of his frosting bag.**

Adrian: [bored expression] Bag. Key. Bagkey. [raises eyebrow, unimpressed] Now I too am making a really fucking stupid fashion statement. I can _feel_ myself becoming more stylish.

[[end flashback]]

 

Ray: I think he still had it when I talked to him.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] The door was locked when you got here, right?

Ray: Phoebe was pulling it apart when I got here, but I don’t know if she checked. We’ll have to ask her and Madeline about it.

 

[[“Adrian’s Key” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] The killer would’ve had to drop it somewhere outside if they locked the room, but we should save the conjecture until we talk to Phoebe. [bewildered expression] Hold on a second.

**She turned toward John.**

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] There was nothing in his pockets? Any of them?

John: [holds out hand] Nothing whatsoever. I checked.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Then where’s his eHandbook?

John: [shrugs] Wherever it is, it’s not on the body. Or anywhere in the room, for that matter.

Ray: So the killer probably took his key and his eHandbook? Why?

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Hmm… I don’t know about the key, but I have an idea for the handbook. [warm smile with wide eyes] We should add the Control Room to our list of stops!

**Ah, I see what you’re getting at.**

 

[[“Adrian’s eHandbook” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**A sweep of the area near the body didn’t turn up anything else noteworthy, so I turned to John again.**

Ray: I don’t suppose you’ve found anything in the last minute or so?

John: [mildly frowns] Would you like to perform the autopsy? I’d be happy to step aside.

**Just being near it is unpleasant enough, thanks.**

Ray: Sorry, I don’t mean to rush you.

John: [neutral expression] I’ll be done in a minute. [raises eyebrow] Don’t you have other places to investigate? The killer must’ve been moving around.

Ray: I don’t want to miss anything in here.

John: [holds out hand] I get that, but if you stay in here too long you’re going to miss stuff out there. I’m sure everyone’s pulling their weight, but you two are the ones with alibis. It’s your job to make sure we don’t miss anything.

Ray: …Right.

**No pressure, or anything.**

John: [polite smile] I’ll make sure the autopsy gets to you, don’t worry.

**I thanked him and stepped away from the body. A scan of the room didn’t yield anything that looked like a clue, massive quantities of blood excepted, but I did finally notice April standing off to one side. I considered asking her if she had any information, but she seemed to be busy searching for evidence. Caleb was close by, so I walked up to him.**

Caleb: [tips hat down] [frowns] A sick sonofabitch did this, and we’re gonna find ‘em. [tips hat out of face] Any luck with the investigatin’?

Ray: We’ve found some clues, but nothing that points to a killer yet.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Make sure you keep an eye out. Never know where the killer could’ve stashed some evidence.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] ‘Stashed evidence’? This building isn’t that big. Trying to hide something in here would be a feat. [folds arms with slight smirk] Unless you think there’s some kind of secret hidey hole where they put all the incriminating evidence?

Jacob: [neutral, yet apologetic expression] Pardon me for interrupting, Lady Rowe, but something has come to my attention.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Huh? Something up?

Jacob: [neutral, yet intrigued expression] Indeed, madam. There is something intriguing directly above us.

**I followed where he was pointing to the ceiling. Like everything else in the room, it had blood on it, though not as much had spattered upwards. Jacob was pointing at one specific bloodstain that was larger than the disorganized droplets around it.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [raises eyebrow] That doesn’t look like blood spatter. It’s more of a splash, like someone was deliberately tryin’ to make a bloodstain right there.

Jacob: [neutral, yet thoughtful expression] I agree, Sir Turnbull. But that is not all. Look closely at the shape of the stain, particularly near the edges.

**The blood was stained in a line, with edges that looked as crude and uneven as you’d expect from a splashed liquid. At least, most of the edges were uneven. One of the edges was perfectly flat, without so much as a drop past it.**

 

[[“Unusual Ceiling Bloodstain” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

**On closer inspection, more than just that spot was clean. A decently sized rectangular area, maybe a few feet across, was completely free of even a drop of spatter. This might have been reasonable in most cases, except the area was directly above the bed, and consequently above the body.**

Ray: What the hell…? The blood just kinda… stops. What would cause that?

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] If I were on a detective show, I’d probably say that something was there when it splattered. If something with a flat edge blocked a part of the splash, then removing it would leave the same flat edge on the part that wasn’t blocked.

Caleb: [rubs chin] Could be… Unless…

**Caleb stretched his hand toward the blood free area. Despite being the tallest one of us, his reach fell a couple feet short.**

Caleb: [grimaces] Dammit! Why is this ceilin’ so high up?

Ray: What are you trying to do?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [grimaces] I wanna check somethin’, but I can’t reach that high. [rubs chin] I probably could if I stood on the bed, but, uh…

John: [mildly frowns] Please refrain from using the victim as a stepstool until I’m done with the autopsy.

**Suddenly April was right next to us.**

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] Move.

Caleb: [clutched hat in shock] Huh?! Uh… alright.

**Caleb took a step back to let April near the bed. She lifted her poster tube, shaking some blood of the bottom in the process, and tapped it against the clean section of ceiling.**

April: [stands up straight] [surprised expression] What the hell?

Ray: What’s going on?

**April ignored my question and tapped it again, harder. The ceiling seemed to… move?**

**The rest of the room’s occupants, Brittany and Ryan, noticed the commotion and walked over for a closer look.**

Ryan: [concerned expression] Something up with the ceiling?

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] Nice pun!

Ryan: [dismissive expression] Fuck off, Rowe.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] ‘Rowe’? [pouts, looking downwards] Aww, did I lose first name privileges?

Ryan: [dismissive expression] Yep. That’s you and Decker now. The comedians are two for two. Good job.

**Not really the time for this, guys.**

**My attention shifted back to April as she grabbed the bottom of the tube in one hand. Using the other as a guide, she pulled it back and slammed it into the ceiling. Amazingly, the plastic of the tube didn’t give way at all.**

**The ceiling, on the other hand, did.**

**A panel, the exact size and shape of the blood free area, was knocked out of place right over Adrian’s bed. Through the newly created passage we could see a large, dark space, illuminated solely by the light from the room.**

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Whoa!

Ryan: [shocked expression] What the fuck?! There’s an entire fucking room up there!

Caleb: [clutched hat in shock] Why the hell is that above Adrian’s room?

April: [leans on tube] [irritated expression] Someone give me a flashlight.

Brittany: [snaps] [points at April] Coming right up!

**Brittany pulled a flashlight out of her backpack and handed it to April, who pointed it though the hole. After a few seconds of examining it she turned back to us.**

April: [stands up straight] It’s not just a room. Adrian’s room ends at that wall, but the one up there keeps going past it. If I can get in there I could map it out. I’m guessing there’s another entrance just like it in the next room over, so someone’s going to have to let me in their room.

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] That would be mine. Gimme a second, I’ll unlock it for ya.

April: [hair falls over eyes] [hugs tube] O-oh, it’s yours? Uh, s-sure, yeah. I’ll- I’ll go with you.

**As the two of them left Caleb turned toward Autumn and I.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [grimaces] Well, shit. This case just got a helluva lot more complicated real fast.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] You know; I was kidding about there being a secret evidence hidey-hole. But an actual secret passageway between rooms? I don’t even know what to say.

Ray: …Fuck.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] …Yeah, that about sums it up.

 

[[“Secret Passageway” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**As far as I could tell, there was nothing else worth noting in Adrian’s room. I’d spent enough time near his body, and John still hadn’t finished the autopsy, so it was time to look elsewhere.**

**Right outside the room were Madeline and Phoebe, the latter of whom seemed to have calmed down somewhat. It was a good a time as any to ask them what happened.**

Madeline: [fans her face] [frowns] Hello, Ray. I imagine you are here to ask about my actions tonight?

Ray: You _were_ breaking into Adrian’s room when I found you.

Madeline: [wipes her brow gracefully] To be perfectly fair, I _was_ under the impression that it was Ryan’s room.

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] And that’s supposed to make you seem less suspicious?

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] [pleasant smile] Of course, dear. He invited me, after all.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Ooh, that’s a juicy tidbit! He wanted to see if the rumors about classy girls were true, eh?

Ray: Remind me to get you a dictionary, with a bookmark on the word ‘tact’.

Madeline: [hand in front of mouth] [sly smile] I assumed as much myself, but when I pointed out the issue with the notion he claimed his intentions were completely pure. [fans her face] Based on his demeanor I had no reason to disbelieve that claim, so I agreed.

Madeline: [interlaces fingers] Since he had asked to meet at 10:15 I left the show early and went to my room to freshen up. The nighttime announcement went off a few minutes later, so I suppose this was just before 10. 9:55, perhaps? I didn’t leave my room until 10:15.

Madeline: [fans her face] [frowns] I rang the bell to what I assumed to be Ryan’s room, based on the nameplate. Nobody answered, for reasons that are now quite obvious. Fortunately, I spied Phoebe here on the way to her room and asked her for assistance. You were present for everything afterwards.

Ray: So you didn’t try to enter Ryan’s room at 10?

Madeline: [curious expression] No…? Why do you ask?

Ray: He said someone was messing with his door right around then, trying to get it open.

Madeline: [curious expression] That is odd. It certainly was not I who did that, as I was in my room at the time.

 

[[“Madeline and Ryan’s Meeting” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Madeline: [fans her face] Even if I had done such a thing, I would have gone to the wrong room, seeing as the nameplates were swapped.

**Right, the nameplates. I’d almost forgotten about the swap. I should make a note of that, too.**

 

[[“Swapped Nameplates” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Follow up question! Was Adrian’s door locked?

Madeline: [fans her face] [frowns] I am unsure. I assumed it was, as Ryan seems the type to lock his door at night. Knowing it was in fact Adrian’s room invalidates that, however.

Phoebe: [wipes her eyes] It was locked.

Madeline: [hand in front of mouth] [shocked expression] Oh! Are you feeling well enough to speak, darling?

Phoebe: [looks downwards] Sorta. I can answer that, at least.

Ray: You checked it, then?

Phoebe: [looks downwards] I didn’t _check_ , at least not on purpose. Madeline said she was in a hurry, so I didn’t take the time to disassemble it. I just picked the lock. If it had been unlocked I would’ve felt it.

Ray: Thank you. That’s all we needed to know.

Phoebe: [looks downwards] Sure…

**She is definitely not taking this well. I can hardly blame her, though. Finding Adrian like that… I don’t think I’ll ever get the image out of my head.**

**Still, now we know the door was definitely locked when we got there. Given the missing key, it would seem the killer locked the door behind them.**

[[“Adrian’s Key” has been updated in the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**I left the two of them alone and headed to the storerooms. The area was mostly empty, since most people were investigating near the body, but Eric and Maria were both present. Eric waved us over.**

Eric: [poses dramatically] Greetings, fellow alibi-havers! I trust your investigations are going well?

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] For a comedienne and a narrator I’d say we’re pretty damn good detectives.

Ray: Given the size of the building and the limited suspect pool, it’s not that complex. The closest thing we have to an asset between us is your notepad.

Autumn: [holds up notepad] Being organized is important! Gotta make sure I get all the good stuff!

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Speaking of the good stuff!

**Nice transition.**

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] I have turned up something in my own investigation! [indicates to the side with gusto] Namely, this!

**He was indicating a single foot-tall speaker that was conspicuously pressed against the wall of the storeroom hallway.**

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] So that’s where this thing was? How did we miss it just sitting there?

Eric: [rubs chin] Do you have so little faith in my observational prowess? I am absolutely certain that it was not present in this hallway before the show. [smug smile] Between the two of us and Sommer, it could not have evaded detection!

Ray: So, this is the missing speaker you were talking about before?

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Indeed! [rubs chin] Though it has certainly seen better days, compared to its twin.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] What do you mean?

Eric: [poses dramatically] You ask, and I shall answer! The casing is somewhat caved in at the top, and there are cracks in various locations! The damage would suggest that it was struck or crushed in some manner, likely more than once.

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Furthermore, I have managed to find very slight amounts of two foreign substances present of the speaker! The first is red and wet, most likely blood.

Ray: Blood? So it was at the murder scene?

Eric: [rubs chin] Not necessarily. When I say ‘very slight’ I am not underselling it. There is but a single smudge on one of the sides. If I were to theorize, I would say someone picked it up with a trace of blood on their hand, accidentally transferring it to the speaker in the process.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] If it was in that room there’d be a lot more than just a smudge. Still, that smudge makes me think that whoever took this speaker is probably also our killer.

Ray: What would they need a speaker for? And how did it get damaged?

Eric: [cups hand around ear] As important as those questions are, I had not quite finished my explanation.

Ray: There’s something else?

Eric: [smug smile] Indeed. There was another odd substance, this one thick, and white in color.

**…Thick and white? Why does that sound familiar…?**

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] Thick and white?! Eugh! So, someone killed Adrian, and then j-

Ray: …Like cake frosting?

Eric: [pounds chest with fist] Indeed! There is a bit of cake frosting on the top of the speaker, and it is the same color as the kind usually in Adrian’s bag, if memory serves.

Autumn: [bewildered expression] …What? The blood I understand, but how’d the frosting get there? His bag was in his room, and empty.

Ray: …I can’t think of anything that makes sense. There’s so many problems with there being both frosting and blood on this thing that I’m not sure where to start.

Autumn: [exaggerated sigh] One more question for the trial, I guess.

 

[[“Missing Speaker” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**I thanked Eric for the information and left him to his guard duty. Autumn and I walked over to Maria to see what she’d turned up.**

Ray: Hey Maria. What’re you investigating?

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] Hey. I’m looking through all the storerooms, trying to find anything that looks obviously suspicious. [puts hands in pockets] I’ve checked the first seven, but nothing caught my eye immediately.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] You’re checking all the storerooms right after a murder, and you don’t start with the one full of weapons?

Maria: [confused expression] Weapons?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] You don’t know? The eighth storeroom has all kinds of deadly stuff in it. It’s basically a one-stop-shop for murder weapons.

Maria: [hands over heart] [blinks rapidly] Oh! Okay! Great! I didn’t know that! But now I do! Awesome!

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] This is why you gotta stay in the loop!

**Without missing a beat, Autumn strolled over to the eighth storeroom, scanned her eHandbook, and yanked it open. All the weapons were still inside, but the room looked like a tornado had hit it. Knives and swords were scattered across the floor, bows had been snapped and discarded, and one of the hatchets was embedded in the gun rack.**

Maria: [flails arms wildly] [panicked expression] AGH- SHIT! Weapons! Lots of weapons!

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] What was that you said about ‘Obviously suspicious?’

Ray: Either somebody here really hates swords, or somebody wanted to hide the fact that something is missing.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Sounds about right.

 

[[“State of Storeroom 8” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Maria: [hands over heart] [panicked breathing] Okay. Alright. That’s information. Important information. But does it tell us anything?

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] It tells us that they had something to hide in here, that’s for sure! If we check the log in the Control Room, we’ll know whose handbook opened this storeroom. And if my hunch is right, it’ll probably be Adrian’s.

Maria: [confused expression] There’s a log in the Control Room? For who accessed the storerooms, you mean?

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Did you not take the tour?

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] I’m starting to thing I should’ve. Mind if I tag along? Apparently I’m way out of the loop.

Ray: Another set of eyes can’t hurt.

**The three of us started toward the Control Room. Right as we got to the hallway intersection, April walked out of Ryan’s room and cut us off.**

April: [leans on tube] [neutral expression] One of you give me your key, I need to check something.

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] That’s a lot of trust you’re asking for.

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] Not you, Maria. Ray or Autumn. I need one of your keys.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Why one of us?

April: [leans on tube] [pinches forehead] Goddamn it, this isn’t worth the time it takes to explain. [irritated expression] I’ll say this quick, so listen up. That passage above Adrian’s room? It connects the eight rooms in the West section of the building together, but not the ones in the East section. I need one of your keys so I can check whether or not the ones in the East have a similar passage. [annoyed expression] That a good enough reason?

Ray: I guess that’s fair. Here, I’ll give you mine…

**I dug around my pockets for my room key, but it apparently wasn’t there. I figured it might’ve been in my waistcoat pocket with my eHandbook, but that proved fruitless as well.**

Ray: Uh…

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] You left it in your room, didn’t you?

Ray: I… don’t think I locked my door this morning. Or ever. Come to think of it, I don’t recall ever getting a key to my room.

Maria: [bites her lip] Did you… not check your nightstand? That’s where mine was when I got here.

Ray: Uh… No. I didn’t check my nightstand.

April: [leans on tube] [glares] You. Are an idiot. [annoyed expression] But I guess that means I don’t need to bother with your key. [pinches forehead] Oh Goddamn it! I could’ve just skipped this entire exchange and gone right into your room! [irritated expression] Congratulations, you’ve found a way to _retroactively_ waste my time. I’m leaving. [leaves]

**It never ceases to amaze me the sheer number of ways she can express her annoyance.**

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] You being an idiot aside, that bit about the passage sounds important. We should double-check who’s in the East section and who’s in the West.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] Adrian, Ryan, Eric, Will, Brittany, Emily, Phoebe and I are in the West section. John, Caleb, Jacob, Madeline, Veronica, April and you two are in the East section.

Ray: You know that off the top of your head, but you didn’t know what was in the storerooms?

**She just shrugged at me, and I figured it wasn’t worth questioning.**

 

[[“Secret Passageway” has been updated in the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

[[“Room Distribution” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Ray: …Hold on a second. April’s room is in the East? Why did she need one of our keys to get in, then?

**Autumn pointed at the ground where April had been standing. There was a trail of bloody footprints leading from Ryan’s room to mine.**

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] The ceiling is so high you’d need to stand on the bed to reach it. She probably didn’t want to get blood on her sheets, so she used yours instead.

Ray: … *sigh* Well, fuck me, then.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Ew, no. There’s dead guy blood on your sheets. [shit-eating grin] Clean that up, then we’ll talk!

**Words couldn’t properly convey my exasperation at that joke, so I relied on a heavy sigh and a look to get the message across.**

Maria: [sheepish expression] Weren’t we, uh, going to check out the Control Room?

Ray: …Right. Let’s get back to that.

**The three of us started toward the Control Room. Again. Right as we got to the entranceway, Veronica stepped out of the laundromat and cut us off. Again.**

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] Just the two I was hoping to see. [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] And also Maria, I guess.

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] I’m sorry…?

Veronica: [smirks] As you should be. [holds up unlit match] Seriously, though. I’ve got something to, like, report- I guess, to our alibi-babies.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] What did you find?

Ray: And while you’re at it, what the hell did you just call us?

Veronica: [lights match] Alibi-babies. It’s like ‘rock-a-bye baby’, but instead of, like, ‘rock-a-bye’ it’s ‘al-i-bi’, since you two have, like, complementary alibis. [stares at flame] Plus, you’re both prone to whining.

**I don’t _whine_. I _bitch_. It’s a very important difference.**

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Hey, as long as it’s a pun, I don’t care what you call me.

Maria: [looks off to the side] So, you said you found something?

Veronica: [glances away from flame] Hmm? Oh, right. I found this.

**Veronica held up a wet hand towel that was covered in faded pink stains.**

Veronica: [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] I walked into the laundromat after we all met up by the body, and found one of the washers running with this inside.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Even more blood? This case is just covered in the stuff.

Ray: And it looks like the killer was trying to hide some of it. Do you know how long it was in for?

Veronica: [stares at flame] They had it set on an hour wash for just the one towel, and I pulled it out with, like, 30 minutes left. So I’d say they put it in at, like, 10:05, give or take a few minutes? [points with lit match] The thing _reeks_ of bleach and, like, shitty floral soap, so they must’ve wanted the blood gone _fast_. [absent-mindedly licks lollipop] If I hadn’t noticed it when I did, these stains would’ve been long gone.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] The fact that they cleaned up blood means that it was somewhere they didn’t want it, which makes this evidence of a cover-up. [bites her lip] A cover-up is pretty pointless if you don’t manage to cover up the cover-up.

**That about covers it.**

 

[[“Bloody Hand Towel” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Veronica: [lights lollipop] I hope you guys have found more than me. A wet towel isn’t exactly, like, compelling evidence.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Well, we’ve found an entire network of secret ceiling tunnels. Does that count?

Veronica: [lollipop burns out] …What.

Maria: [confused expression] …Is that what April meant?

Ray: Yeah. There’s a secret passageway above the bed in each room. It’s… probably going to be relevant to the case.

Veronica: [unwraps new lollipop] Well, I’ve just figured out what I’m looking at for the rest of the investigation. See ya. [leaves]

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] A perfectly square building that has secret passages, weapons galore, and two exits that can’t be unlocked from the inside? Was this place designed with a killing game in mind?

Autumn: [glances to the side] [slight frown] When you put it like that… It makes it sound like this whole ‘Talent Scout’ thing was a setup…

Ray: …I don’t remember anyone telling us where we were going before we got here.

Maria: [looks off to the side] We’re trapped in a building, in the middle of who knows where, at the mercy of this bear…

**……**

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] As unpleasant as all this is, don’t we have more pressing matters? Like, you know, the murder?

Ray: …Yeah. We need to look at the storeroom logs. Try to, uh… figure out the killer’s movements.

Maria: [sheepish expression] Sorry for getting us off track.

Ray: It’s fine. The evidence isn’t going anywhere.

**Though I suppose we are on a time limit… It’s probably a good idea to stay on task until after the trial.**

**The three of us entered the Control Room, and I was mildly surprised to find it empty. A check of my short-term memory told me that we’d already run into everyone except for Will somewhere else in the building. I assumed he was in either the cafeteria or the Green Room, and made a note to go through the Green Room on the way back to the storerooms.**

**Autumn skipped over to one of the terminals and kicked the chair out of the way. It rolled into the wall with enough force to make Maria jump. After a few seconds of furious clicking and meaningless keyboard clacking, a spreadsheet was opened on the computer screen. I tried to lean in for a closer look, but she put up a hand to stop me.**

Autumn: [glances to the side] [slight frown] Hold up, I need to check something.

**Maria and I stood there awkwardly for about a minute as Autumn did… something or other on the computer. Whatever it was, it didn’t cause a visible change on the screen.**

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Okay, we’re good!

Ray: What were you doing?

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] I was checking if you could manually edit the log. I tried a whole bunch of stuff, but it looks like it’s purely automatic. I couldn’t delete, alter or add anything.

Maria: [slight smile] Testing the validity of the evidence… Good idea, Autumn.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] Thanks! [warm smile with wide eyes] Now, let’s see what we’ve got.

**I looked over her shoulder as she scrolled through the columns. The logs weren’t timestamped, just listed in order of entry. The first entry in the first five columns was ‘EY’, from when Emily was opening then a few days ago, then ‘AR’ ‘RG’ and ‘AS’ for 6, 7 and 8. All the columns except for 8 ended with ‘MC’, from Maria’s investigation. I looked at the columns individually in more detail.**

**Just about everyone had been to Storeroom 1 at some point, and it didn’t seem connected to the case. Storeroom 2 was where the speaker had gone missing from, but so many people had visited it throughout the day that it didn’t narrow down the suspects. Madeline had been making herself busy the past few days, based on how many ‘MW’s’ there were in Storeroom 3’s list. Storeroom 4’s list was short and uninteresting, up until the last few entries.**

Ray: ED, AS, MC. Adrian’s handbook was the last one scanned before the investigation.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Eric is only listed twice here. I’m pretty sure the first one is from a few days ago, since it’s listed really early. But that second one, the one right before Adrian’s, was definitely before the show. We were grabbing chairs for the Green Room, and I’m sure we were done by 5 ‘o clock.

Ray: I can’t think of a reason Adrian would’ve visited it after you two, especially with the party going on. It’s more likely the killer took his handbook after the murder. Since it’s only listed once, I’d guess that they hid something, rather than taking something.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] I didn’t see anything noteworthy when I looked in there. [bites her lip] I didn’t go digging through it, though, so it’s possible something was hidden. We should check it more thoroughly after this.

**I’d do the Truth Bullet thing here, but there’s bound to be more information in this log, and I don’t want to have to mentally update it.**

**Storeroom 5’s list was even shorter than 4’s, and looked almost identical. In more ways than one.**

Ray: WR, AS, MC. Looks like we have another winner.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] I don’t think I can help with the timeframe on this one. I don’t know when Will visited it. [folds arms with thoughtful look] Though, he’s only on here the once…

Maria: [looks off to the side] Only once? Can I see the computer really quick?

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Shoot!

**Maria scrolled through the columns for a few moments, going back and forth several times.**

Maria: [serious expression] I thought so. [puts hands in pockets] There’s a pattern to the entries in each column after the first: it starts with John, continues through just about everyone but Brittany and I, and ends with Will. I’m thinking that everyone took the time to check each storeroom at different times, and Will was the last one to do that.

Ray: So you’re saying that that WR is from the first day here?

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] Probably. Nobody is on there more than once, and the room is completely empty. Who would even have a reason to go twice?

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Adrian knew what was past the second shutter, too, since he asked Brittany. He’d have no reason to check again. So it was probably the killer with his handbook again. But what for?

Maria: [bites her lip] I’m sure that that storeroom was completely empty when I checked. We need to take a closer look.

**We continued looking through the log. Storeroom 6 had been visited by various people, but if one of them was the killer then they used their own handbook, since Adrian’s wasn’t listed. None of the entries stood out as suspicious, though Autumn still took note of who had opened it.**

**Storeroom 7 had a list second only to Storeroom 3 in length, as expected from a room containing that many snacks. Given how many of us casually skip breakfast and dinner, I could only assume several of us had been subsisting on nothing but the chips from that room. Adrian didn’t show up on it, though, so it wasn’t useful.**

**And then there was Storeroom 8.**

Ray: After the usual pattern of John through Will, it goes MW, BD, CT, AR, VK, BD, WR, RS, JS, AR. That’s where it ends.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] …Huh?

Ray: Something wrong?

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Yeah. That storeroom was all messed up, right? And that was probably the killer trying to hide something, right?

Ray: Yeah…

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] So where’s the AS? The killer used Adrian’s handbook to hide who they were for 4 and 5, but not 8? With a mess that big, in a room that important, someone was bound to notice.

Ray: …Huh. That’s… strange.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] And there’s not that many people on the list, either. It’s just Madeline, Brittany, Caleb, Veronica, Will, Ryan, John, and you, Autumn. That’s not a lot of options for who messed up the room.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Well, I know I’m not the one who made the mess! That makes things easier!

Ray: You were on there twice, actually. The second entry was a few minutes ago, but why were you there the first time?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] I had an idea for a bit that involved one of the prop guns. I figured we might as well use them if we have them. [folds arms with frown] They didn’t have any prop revolvers, though, so I had to scrap it.

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] …You do know that playing Russian Roulette with blanks will still kill you, right? Even if you remove the projectile, there’s still a cartridge of gunpowder exploding into your temple.

Autumn: [distressed] …! [nervous expression] Eh-heh… O-of course I knew that! D-don’t be ridiculous…

**……**

**…Maybe Monokuma doesn’t need motives to get us to kill each other. Our own idiocy could suffice.**

 

[[“Storeroom Entry Log” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**With that new information, we knew which storerooms to check for evidence of the killer. I made sure to leave toward the Green Room, recalling my mental note to search for Will. Sure enough, he was there, sitting at one of the tables. There was a plate of food in front of him, and he was picking at it uncomfortably.**

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Heck of a time to be eating instead of investigating.

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] Sorry. I’m no good at this kind of thing. I tried looking around, but I couldn’t find anything. [hugs his bow] [scared expression] A-and I can’t really stomach being in the room with the body. I don’t mean to be useless…

Maria: [bites her lip] It’s fine. Not everyone needs to find something. Plus, food gives you energy, and that’ll be helpful when the trial actually starts.

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous expression] I hadn’t thought about that, actually. I was just trying to eat before we… I mean…

Ray: What is it?

Will: [hugs his bow] [scared expression] We-well… We could d-die here, you know? I-if we can’t figure out who the mu-murderer is, then we’ll all d-die… And I’m just sitting here, useless… [whimpers sadly] I-I don’t want anyone to die just because of me!

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Don’t worry! We won’t die because you’re useless! If anything, we’ll die because the _rest_ of us are useless!

**I genuinely can’t tell if that was supposed to be encouraging or insulting.**

Ray: It’s alright if you couldn’t find anything. There’s other ways to help. For example: Did you see anything else that might be important? Anything at all?

Will: [scratches neck] Uh… Well… There is one thing, I guess.

Ray: Oh?

Will: [grips cap] [nervous expression] Before he died, I saw Adrian in here talking to you and Emily, Ray. [panicked expression] Ah, not that I’m accusing you or anything! Sorry! [nervous expression] But, uh, that was the last thing he did before he died, right? So, maybe whatever you were talking about has something to do with his death?

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Short Stuff’s got a point. He died right after you were done chatting. So what were you talking about?

Ray: Well… We were talking about the motive, and what Monokuma was trying to do. He was talking about how we’d be willing to die for the motive, so we’d make mistakes. And then…

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] …And then?

Ray: Well, uh… Ryan started walking over to April and Madeline, and Adrian said something about him planning to kill one of them.

Maria: [confused expression] That’s a bit of a leap from just walking over to them.

Ray: He was hesitating, stopping every few steps, like he was trying to convince himself to stop what he was doing. It… looked more suspicious at the time.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] It sounds more like he was just being awkward around April, what with their not-at-all-subtle mutual crush.

Will: [raises eyebrow] …Huh? Mutual? [scratches neck] [embarrassed smile] I mean; I’d noticed April’s… Kinda hard not to… But I didn’t notice anything about Ryan.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] Yep! And neither one can just say it outright! Ain’t it just the most cliché thing?

Maria: [looks off to the side] …That can’t be a coincidence.

Ray: Hmm?

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] You, Emily and Adrian saw Ryan acting suspicious right before the murder. Then Adrian’s body gets found because Madeline was trying to meet Ryan and someone had swapped their nameplates. Isn’t that a bit convenient?

Ray: It’s certainly worth noting.

 

[[“Ryan’s Suspicious Activity” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**I was about to thank Will for the help, but Maria suddenly asked him about what he was eating and I didn’t feel like participating in another conversation about nutrition. Instead I stepped away for a moment to give them time to talk.**

**I found myself by the buffet table, where there was still plenty of untouched food. It looked like people had helped themselves to the ham and the turkey, and there were only a few of the pastries that Jacob had made left.**

**The cake ended up catching my eye. It was still completely intact, not even a slice out of place. Whether it was because people trusted that Adrian was as poor a baker as he claimed, or they simply didn’t want to ruin his impressive designs, nobody had eaten it. My face fell looking at it. Adrian was dead, and this was his last work. It’s fitting, in a way, that the last thing the Ultimate Cake Decorator made was ‘THE ULTIMATE CAKE’.**

**…Wait a second. That’s not right, is it?**

**I double checked the cake, in case my eyes had been playing tricks on me. Sure enough, the words ‘THE ULTIMATE CAKE’ were spelled over the three layers in red frosting. If my memory served, it should have said something else.**

 

[[flashback]]

Adrian: [confident grin] Considering what I’ve had to work with, I’m pretty satisfied with this. Come on, take a closer look.

**We did just that, taking in the impressive designs he’d managed to work into plain white frosting. It had ended up looking like a small wedding cake, with one particular exception.**

Ray: You seriously have no confidence in yourself, do you?

Adrian: [half-assed smile] Oh? What gave it away?

**I indicated the cake. With his last few motions he had written ‘THE ULTIMATE SHITTYCAKE’ in red, each word on a different tier.**

Maria: [confused expression] Why did you make ‘SHITTYCAKE’ one word?

Adrian: [taps head with frosting bag] I was just going to write ‘THE ULTIMATE CAKE’, but it would look weird if the longest word was on the middle tier instead of the bottom one, and it would look lopsided if I left them separate when they aren’t the same length. Thus, ‘SHITTYCAKE’. [bored expression] Just trust me on this, dude.

[[end flashback]]

 

**The whole thing is still intact, so it’s not like someone just ate the ‘SHITTY’ part. Plus, the design on that entire layer looks off compared to the rest. Did someone mess with it? What for?**

[[“THE ULTIMATE CAKE” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**Autumn and Maria’s approach snapped me out of my thoughts. After pointing out the cake and Autumn writing it down in her notepad, the three of us walked back into the storeroom hallway. Eric was facing the wall, fidgeting with his suit, but abruptly turned toward us as we entered.**

Eric: [adjusts tie uncomfortably] Ah! Hello! You’re back! Why are you back?!

Ray: Because we’re investigating…?

Eric: [rubs chin] Ah! Hmm! Yes! That makes sense!

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Something wrong, Eric? You’re acting weird.

Eric: [adjusts tie uncomfortably] Ah! It’s nothing important, I assure you. My suit is simply not cooperating with me at the moment. [pounds chest with fist] Is there something else you need of me?

Ray: We do need to check out the storerooms again, but I think we can handle that ourselves.

Eric: [poses dramatically] Very well, then! Do not hesitate to ask for assistance! Eric Decker, Ultimate Impressionist is always happy to help!

Ray: Sure…

**I made a note of Eric’s odd behavior in the back of my mind and walked over to Storeroom 4. One eHandbook swiping later, the shutter was unlocked and opened.**

Ray: Well, there’s definitely some stuff missing.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Most of that was me, Eric and Ryan. Those tables and chairs had to come from somewhere.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] If there’s something hidden in here it wouldn’t be obvious at a glance. We should check all over.

**I nodded in agreement and started looking. The storeroom was pretty big, since it was meant to hold furniture, so searching through it was going to take a while.**

**…Is what I had assumed, before I found a sofa in the back with a conspicuously raised seat cushion. I pulled it off to find it concealing a long, thin rope.**

Ray: Found something.

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] That was fast!

Ray: It’s not hidden too well. You can’t see it from the entrance, but it was pretty out of place.

Maria: [bites her lip] A rope?

Ray: A decent amount. A few meters, at least.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] I’m pretty sure we’d have noticed if this was here earlier. Think our killer put it here?

Maria: [serious expression] Definitely. Look.

**Maria grabbed one part of the rope and held it up. There were pink stains all over the end, in a weird and inconsistent pattern.**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Oh hey, more blood! That stuff is just everywhere, isn’t it?

Ray: Well, we know it was at the crime scene. Or, part of it was, I guess.

 

[[“Bloodstained Rope” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Is there anything else in here?

Ray: Nothing as obvious as the rope. Given how poorly that was hidden, if there was more in here we’d have found it right away.

Maria: [looks off to the side] Something about this blood…

Ray: Hmm?

Maria: [serious expression] Can you guys give me a minute with this rope? I’ve got an idea about this blood. I’ll finish looking around in here, too.

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] Sure. We need to check out Storeroom 5 anyway.

**Maria was still looking closely at the blood when we left the storeroom. Autumn opened up Storeroom 5’s shutter and the two of us entered the empty room.**

Ray: There’s literally nothing in here at all. Why would the killer come in here? They were operating on such a small timeframe; they wouldn’t waste time entering an empty room.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] Maybe they were hiding from someone? No, they probably would’ve just stayed in 4 to hide… [warm smile with wide eyes] Oh! I know! Maybe they figured out how to get into the garage?

**She tried pulling at the shutter, but it wouldn’t budge.**

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Or not… Hmm… They hid something, maybe?

**She pressed herself up against the shutter and peered through one of the thin slits.**

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] I don’t see anything around the shutter. They’d have had to slip it through one of these slits, so it can’t be too far in. And I can’t see anything looking down…

**I moved next to her and looked through the gaps. They were pretty high up on the shutter, so I could see the space right next to the shutter better than she could. In fact, I could see just enough to find what the killer had been trying to hide.**

Ray: There’s a stick.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] What? A stick? Where?

Ray: It’s pressed up to the other side of shutter, but it’s there.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] And it’s just, like, a stick? Like, a branch or something?

Ray: It’s wood, but not like a tree branch. It looks more like a… dowel? But, like, a broken one? I can’t see it too well.

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] And you think that’s what the killer was trying to hide?

Ray: Well, it’s the only thing in there. And it is pretty hard to see. So… Yes?

 

[[“Broken Stick” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] Well, we found a stick. Is that it?

Ray: I don’t see anything else. So, probably.

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] …… [exaggerated shrug] Okay then. Let’s go see if Maria’s done.

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] I’ll save you the trip.

**Maria was standing in the still open shutter entrance, holding up the bloody rope from before. Something about the rope looked different, though.**

Ray: You knotted the rope?

Maria: [serious expression] Mhmm. Take a look at the blood.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] The weird pattern is gone. The end with the knot is completely covered now…

Maria: [serious expression] I tied it so that all the parts with blood were facing out. None of the rope that’s inside has blood on it. [bites her lip] …Assuming I tied it right, that is. Knots aren’t my area of expertise.

Ray: So, when it got blood on it, it was tied in a knot just like this? That’s why the pattern is weird?

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] Yes. Probably. There aren’t many other uses for rope than tying it to something. [looks off to the side] And before you ask, there’s nothing notable about the knot. It’s a pretty simple half-hitch. Any of us could have reasonably tied it.

**I’m going to trust you on that, because I don’t know the first thing about knots. Worth noting, though.**

 

[[“Bloodstained Rope” has been updated in the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**There wasn’t anything else worth noting in Storeroom 5, and Maria hadn’t found anything else in Storeroom 4. Since we’d checked just about everywhere at that point, we decided to go and investigate the secret passage in the rooms.**

**Like clockwork, someone cut us off in the hallway before we could actually reach our destination. This time it was a pair, John and Caleb.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [half-smile] We’ve got a telegram for a ‘Ray’ and an ‘Autumn’. You the individuals in question?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] That’s us! What have you got?

**John held out a sheet of paper with writing on it.**

John: [polite smile] One autopsy, as requested.

**I took the paper and skimmed the contents.**

Ray: Jesus, this is a proper coroner’s report! I didn’t expect this much detail.

John: [shrugs] I like to be thorough. [holds out hand] Here’s a quick rundown. I can confirm everything the Monokuma File said about the body. A single stab wound to the neck pierced his jugular, which caused him to bleed out. Aside from the fatal wound, there’s no other injuries.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Well, yeah. The Monokuma Files didn’t lie in the broadcast. Why would they lie for us?

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] I’m guessing you wouldn’t have written this report if that’s all you had to say.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [raises eyebrow] Didn’t know you were helpin’ out the deputies, Maria.

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] Oh, right. I keep forgetting I’m technically also a suspect.

Caleb: [tips hat down] Long as they’re keepin’ an eye on you, it’s all good.

**I shared a glance with Autumn, remembering how we’d deliberately left her alone in a room with evidence, but neither of us mentioned it aloud.**

John: [mildly frowns] May I continue?

Ray: Please do.

John: [neutral expression] So, aside from the stuff in the Monokuma File, I have a couple more things to add. [holds out hand] First, the blood.

Autumn: [shocked, with hand near face] The blood? Again?

John: [nods slightly] Yep. This time it’s on his hands. They’re covered in blood, his right hand more than his left. [holds out hand] Based on the positioning, it looks like he was trying to stop the bleeding for a little bit before he actually bled to death. [shrugs] Though it wouldn’t have accomplished much.

Ray: Oh. That’s… horrific.

John: [nods slightly] Yep. But that’s not all. [polite smile] I also took a closer look at the wound in his neck. It’s symmetrical.

Ray: Does that tell us something?

John: [shrugs] It tells us the wound is symmetrical. I’m no doctor, so I’m just telling you what I saw. Interpret the information however you want. [neutral expression] That’s everything I found in the autopsy.

Ray: Thanks. I don’t think anyone else would’ve been willing to take such a close look at the body.

John: [polite smile] Wasn’t a problem. I’m used to being around dead people. It doesn’t really bother me.

Ray: Right…

**Taking into account what you said earlier, that’s pretty concerning.**

**Knowing Adrian tried to stop the bleeding before he died tells us something, and the wound’s shape may tell us something as well. I won’t even need to make a mental note of this, since John gave me a physical note.**

**……**

**…Fine. I’ll make a mental note too.**

 

[[“John’s Autopsy” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

John: [holds out hand] Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go wash my hands and get something to eat. If we manage to get this wrong, I’d rather not die hungry. [leaves]

Caleb: [bewildered expression] …It takes a special kinda person to go for food right after pokin’ ‘round a corpse.

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Speaking of the corpse, weren’t you guarding that?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Brittany and Jacob are both still in there. At least one of ‘em is innocent. [grimaces] ‘Sides, we’ve been lookin’ in there for eons. If there was anythin’ else to find, we’d have found it by now.

Maria: [tries to maintain eye contact] We were heading to look in the secret passage, I think. If you want to come along.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] I was just ‘bout to give it a look myself. A bit of a break from corpse watchin’. [claps hands together] To Ryan’s room we go, then.

**Ryan’s door was unlocked, presumably to give people easy access to the passage. Inside we found Ryan leaning against his closet door, and Veronica staring at a match next to the bed.**

Ryan: [annoyed expression] Thank Christ! Someone who can hold a conversation for longer than thirty goddamn seconds. I’ve been bored to fucking tears standing here.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Hello to you too, Ryan!

Ryan: [dismissive expression] Not you, Rowe. The other three.

Autumn: [pouts, looking downwards] Hey! I can talk too…

Ryan: [folds arms] That’s the problem.

Veronica: [stares at flame] …Hmm? [glances away from flame] Oh. Yo. What’s up?

Ray: Weren’t you going to look around the passage?

Veronica: [pulls lollipop out of mouth] I was gonna, but, ya know, fuck that? [points with lit match] Just… All of it.

**The match she was carelessly waving about was pointing at the currently open passage above Ryan’s bed. She seemed to be indicating the open space, so I made an educated guess.**

Ray: Not a fan of the dark, I take it?

Veronica: [narrows eyes] No. Because it’s awful. [concerned frown] You can’t see more than, like, a foot in front of your face up there. No light means no go for me.

Ryan: [folds arms] She ain’t exaggerating. April said she could barely see a damn thing up there, even with the flashlight.

**Huh. I didn’t realize it was that bad up there…**

 

[[“Darkness in the Passage” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

Maria: [digs around in her backpack] I’ve got some flashlights in here, gimme a second…

Veronica: [holds up unlit match] While you’re doing that, I’ve got gifts.

Ray: Hmm?

**Veronica started pulling things from pockets all over her jumpsuit. After a few seconds, she had five flip lighters in her outstretched hands.**

Autumn: [folds arms with raised eyebrow] Wouldn’t the flashlights be better?

Veronica: [smirks] Flashlights are big and bulky. You can take one of these little babies pretty much anywhere, provided you have, like, a pocket.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] I do not.

Veronica: [disappointed frown] Then you don’t get a lighter, I guess.

Ray: You don’t have pockets? Where are you keeping your notepad, then?

Autumn: [exaggerated shrug] [bewildered expression] ……

**I decided it wasn’t worth pressing and took one of the lighters, slipping it into my waistcoat pocket. I was going to grab one for Maria, but she pulled one of her own out of a jacket pocket, so I didn’t bother. Caleb and Ryan took one each.**

Caleb: [tips hat down] [half-smile] Thank you kindly, madam.

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] Yeah, thanks.

Ray: Oh, uh… Thank you, Veronica.

Veronica: [lights match] It’s always good to have, like, a little guiding light.

Maria: [holds backpack open] Speaking of guiding lights, I found my main and my spare flashlight.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Hand one over! I’ve always wanted to explore a secret passage! It’s as ripe for mystery as it is for puns!

**Autumn snatched one of the flashlight from Maria and stepped up onto Ryan’s bed.**

Ryan: [agitated expression] Don’t bother asking if you can put your dirty feet all over my fucking bedsheets or anything. [rubs shoulder] [dismissive expression] Though I honestly don’t give a shit, so do whatever the fuck you want.

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] I always do!

Ryan: [closes eyes] [takes a deep breath] ……

**She turned her attention away from the as-usual agitated Ryan and toward the entrance to the passage above her. She reached up to grab the edge, but even with the height from the bed she couldn’t reach it. She tried jumping, but her reach kept falling just short.**

Autumn: [folds arms with frown] These ceilings are too damn high, and this bed isn’t even a little bit bouncy. I don’t think I can get up there.

Ray: Are you just not tall enough? Let me try.

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Ooh! Showing off how you’re taller than me, eh? [shit-eating grin] Between this and your blatant come-on earlier, this investigation has made you into just a shameless flirt.

Ray: I’m not gonna dignify that with a response.

Autumn: [pouts, looking forward] You’re no fun.

**Autumn hopped off the bed and I stepped onto it. Reaching my arms up got me within a few centimeters of the edge, and with just a small hop I’d managed to get a solid grip on it. A few seconds later I’d pulled myself up into the passage.**

**I moved into a kneeling position and faced back through the opening.**

Ray: Looks like I’m tall enough, though not by much.

Maria: [bites her lip] Well, if Autumn can’t get up there then I definitely can’t. It’s up to you and Caleb, in that case.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [smirks] You can count on us, sweetheart.

Veronica: [puts out match] Like, hold up a sec.

**Veronica stepped onto the bed and did the same thing Autumn and I had. It took her a few tries, but she eventually managed to jump high enough to get a grip on the edge and start pulling herself up. Once she got her head through the opening she dropped back down.**

Veronica: [lights match] Looks like my height is about the bare minimum to, like, get up there. And that wasn’t exactly, like, easy. At all.

Autumn: [folds arms with thoughtful look] So only so many of us could’ve actually used the passage…

 

[[“Ceiling Height” has been added to the Truth Bullets section of your handbook.]]

 

**Caleb collected the two flashlights from Autumn and Maria and passed them both up to me. Then he pulled himself into the passageway with little effort.**

Caleb: [tips hat down] [stern expression] The investigation has been goin’ on for a good while now. We aren’t gonna have much time to look around up here before the trial starts.

**Shit, I hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed. It’s been at least an hour since we found the body. The bear is probably getting ready to cut us off any second now.**

Ray: Hopefully there isn’t too much else to find, then.

Veronica: [stares at flame] Try not to die in that dark shithole.

Ray: Thanks…? We’ll try.

**It’s not like there’s anything up here. She doesn’t think the darkness itself is gonna kill us, does she?**

**Caleb rose to his feet.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Alright, let’s get to- GAH!

Ray: Caleb?!

Caleb: [clutches hat in irritation] [grimaces] Fuckin’… Hit my head on the goddamn ceilin’.

**I stood up slowly. The passageway wasn’t too small, but I still had to slouch down to avoid banging my head.**

Ray: So, you have to be above a certain height to get into the passageway, but below that height to fit in it comfortably? What do you wanna bet Monokuma designed it that way on purpose?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [grimaces] I don’t doubt it, the jackass. [stern expression] Anyway, we should probably start over by Adrian’s room.

Ray: Good idea.

**After a few seconds of fiddling with our flashlights and orienting ourselves, we walked the short distance to where Adrian’s room would be. The panel that had been covering the entrance to his room was still open, even more so than before. Presumably April moved it while mapping this place.**

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] There’s a bit more blood up here. As I understand it, that’s been a recurrin’ theme of sorts.

Ray: I didn’t know one person could bleed this much.

Caleb: [rubs chin] It looks like the blood is the only thing up here… [raises eyebrow] Oh, hello there!

Ray: Found something?

Caleb: [makes gun with hand and points at ground] Yup. More blood.

Ray: Of course it is.

**I followed where he was pointing to find there was, in fact, more splotches of blood right below us. I was about to dismiss it, when I realized why he’d pointed it out.**

Ray: It’s a trail.

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Looks like they lead back the way we just came. [holds out hand] After you.

**We followed the trail of blood splotches back over Ryan’s room, then past it, reaching a fork in the passageway. The trial continued to the left, with nothing down the right.**

Ray: This right path should be heading south, right? To where Maria, Phoebe, Eric and Will’s rooms are?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] Right. But the blood trail heads to the left, and only two rooms are that way: Brittany’s and Emily’s.

Ray: There’s not many places for it to end. Let’s-

 

*Ding dong, bing bong*

 

Monokuma: Alright boys and girls, I’ve given you guys plenty of time and then some! This investigation is over! It’s time to get this show on the road! I hope you’re all ready for your first class trial!

Monokuma: Everyone gather in the Green Room. From there, we can proceed to the trial hall, and begin the class trial!

 

Caleb: [tips hat down] [frowns] Ah, shit. We’re outta time. We need to find where this trail ends, fast.

Monokuma: [appears] [bares claw angrily] Hey! Where do you think you’re going, busters?

**Ah shit.**

Ray: We’re walking five feet down this tunnel. We need to see where this trail ends.

Monokuma: [miffed expression] What part of ‘This investigation is over!’ Did you not understand?

Ray: It’ll only take a second-

Monokuma: [lunges forward, angry] MOVE IT!

**He took a step in our direction, and we instinctively stepped back. We weren’t getting past him.**

Caleb: [tips hat down] [stern expression] …Tch. Fine. [frowns] We’ve got all we need, anyway. Let’s get goin’, Ray.

**I took a moment to glare at Monokuma before following after Caleb.**

Ray: …Fine. Not like there’s much else we can find by following it.

**Still, it would’ve been nice to be certain.**

 

[[“Trail of Blood” has been added to the Truth Bullet section of your handbook.]]

 

**We made our way back to Ryan’s room and dropped down. Veronica had already left for the Green Room, but the rest were apparently still waiting for us.**

Maria: [puts hands in pockets] Find anything helpful?

Caleb: [tips hat down] [frowns] We found a trail of blood, but the bear cut us off before we finished followin’ it.

Ryan: [angry and confused] What the fuck? He stopped you from investigating before you finished? [balls hand into fist] How’s that any fucking fair?!

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [contemptuous frown] You’d have to ask him.

Ryan: [agitated expression] I’ll give him a fucking earful at the trial. [balls hand into fist] [grits teeth] I’d give him a fucking fistful, too, if it wouldn’t kill me. [folds arms] Might as well do it anyway, if he’s gonna keep us from finding shit that would keep us alive.

Autumn: [folds arms with curled lip] Maybe keep the suicidal hostility for later? [folds arms with friendly smile] I think we’ve got enough to solve this thing even without that blood trail.

Ryan: [rubs shoulder] I fuckin’ hope so.

**Honestly, so do I. We’ve found all kinds of things, but will it actually help us narrow things down? The evidence was scattered all over the place, and any specific thing still has a bunch of interpretations. Maybe the trial will help me sort everything; make everything come together into something that makes sense.**

**Either way, I’m out of time. Time to switch out of investigation mode and-**

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] Before we go, I’ve got one more piece of evidence for you!

**…I’m going to assume that timing was a coincidence.**

Autumn: [shit-eating grin] Nope!

Autumn: [holds up notepad] Anyway, you should take this!

Ray: Your notepad? What for?

Autumn: [holds up notepad] Remember those questions I asked when we met? Name, talent, height, favorite food, favorite color, and primary fetish?

Ray: I was trying to forget that last one, actually. You’ve got everyone’s answers written in there?

Autumn: [warm smile with wide eyes] Yep! Plus some other stuff I’ve picked up from conversation or eavesdropping. [exaggerated shrug] At least one of those things is relevant to one thing in this case, so you should have the info collected somewhere for ease of presentation.

**She handed me the notepad. It was the first time I’d gotten a good look at it, so I finally noticed the cover had ‘Autumn’s Joke Book’ scrawled on it in various mismatched colors.**

 

[[“Autumn’s Joke Book” has been added to the Truth Bullet section of your handbook.]]

 

Ray: Thanks. I’ll make sure to get it back to you after the trial.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] I’ll hold you to that if we make it out of there. [exaggerated shrug] And if we don’t, we’ll be dead. In which case, you’re free to keep it as long as you’d like!

**…Thank you for those words of encouragement, Autumn. I appreciate it.**

**INVESTIGATION END**

**We walked through the building to the Green Room, where Monokuma had ordered us to meet. It looked like we were the last ones to arrive. Even Emily got there before us, having apparently decided to finally leave her room. I was about to walk over to check on her when Monokuma suddenly popped onto the stage.**

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Is everyone good and excited for their first class trial? [giggles to himself] I know I sure am! Puhuhuhu~!

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] I’m not seeing any big red doors, bear. Was a courtroom not in the budget this time around?

Jacob: [neutral, yet disgusted expression] The fact that we are having a ‘Class Trial’ is already absurd enough, seeing as we are not a class. Are we also dispensing with the ‘Trial’ part? [neutral, yet neutral expression] Perhaps more of a ‘Group Bicker’, instead?

Will: [nervous smile] Wow, Jacob. I didn’t expect that from you. You’ve been so polite to everyone so far.

Jacob: [neutral, yet disgusted expression] Monokuma has made it quite clear he is not deserving of polite treatment, so I shall not provide it. It is only appropriate.

Will: [tugs at quiver’s strap] [nervous smile] That makes sense. [scratches neck] Sorry. I shouldn’t just assume I know someone like that. Especially when we haven’t really talked much…

Jacob: [neutral, yet friendly expression] It is quite alright, Sir Robinson. It is only natural to assume professionalism from a butler such as myself.

Brittany: [hands on hips] You guys have a point. How are we supposed to get to the courtroom? [tilts head quizzically] Or are we actually just having the trial in here?

Monokuma: [sweats nervously] Well… uh… About that…

Ryan: [throws arms up in irritation] Fucking hell! Did you seriously forget to set up a damn courtroom, just like you forgot to set up the rules? [agitated expression] This is one hell of a shit show you’re running.

Monokuma: [sweats nervously] Just-just give it a second! It’s almost done, I swear! Right about, uh… right… about…

Eric: [poses dramatically] Never fear, friends! We can always create our _own_ courtroom, right here in the Green Glass Room! [pounds chest with fist] Adrian’s killer shall not escape justice simply because of the bear’s incompetence!

Monokuma: [turns to show black side, raises paw] Now.

**There was a click from behind us as the projector suddenly came to life. Monokuma waddled out of its path, allowing the image of a large set of double doors to be projected on the wall above the stage. Before anyone could make a smart remark, the projected doors opened, revealing the very real elevator behind them.**

John: [polite smile] Nice trick.

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week! [neutral expression] Normally there’s also supposed to be a little staircase so you can actually reach it, but since you set up the stage I didn’t have to bother with that part.

Madeline: [lazily interlaces fingers] [rolls eyes] Hmph. I suppose I should have expected simple parlor tricks from you. [fans her face] Shall we go, darlings?

Caleb: [tips hat out of face] [raises eyebrow] I don’t know if I’d call projectin’ fake elevator doors over a hidden elevator a ‘simple’ parlor trick, but sure. Let’s go.

Autumn: [folds arms with friendly smile] I’m always up for a good parlor trick. This one just had nice production values.

Maria: [wraps arms around herself defensively] I’m just glad it wasn’t too loud or sudden. It’s a bit embarrassing jumping like I usually do.

Phoebe: [looks downwards] …… [adjusts her glasses] …I guess I’m ready, too.

Emily: [helmet down] [tries to keep face neutral] …Yeah. [adjusts her suit] Yeah, let’s go.

**As everyone shuffled into the elevator I found myself hesitating. Something was in the back of my head, nagging at me, making me anxious about going down to the courtroom. Still, after a few seconds I followed the rest inside. The only space left was right at the front, so that’s where I stood as the elevator doors closed and we descended toward the courtroom in silence.**

**That feeling wouldn’t go away, so I tried distracting myself by looking around the cramped elevator. Of all things, I was reminded of the party from just a few hours ago, with the way everyone was standing. April and Madeline were standing close to one another, Ryan only slightly farther away. Brittany and Jacob were standing on either side of Phoebe, like they were guarding her. Caleb, John, Maria and Eric were taking up most of the middle, while Emily, Will and Veronica looked to be keeping to themselves.**

**I was only slightly surprised to notice Autumn standing to my right. There wasn’t that much space in the elevator, after all. Someone had to be near me.**

**I tried not to look at the empty space to my left.**

**The doors finally opened again to reveal what we’d all been expecting. The courtroom. It was near identical to the one from the broadcast: the circle of podiums, the obnoxiously large chair Monokuma was already sitting in…**

**…The wooden post supporting a picture frame, which displayed a black and white photo of Adrian, crossed out with a big pink ‘X’. It was placed at one of the podiums, presumably the one he’d been assigned before his death.**

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] So how’s it look? I tried to make it just as seen on TV!

Ray: I don’t remember the courtroom from the broadcast being this… green.

Monokuma: [neutral expression] Well, I had to put my own spin on things, ya know? [satisfied look] And what better theme to go with than green screen green? It really brings the room together, I think.

Madeline: [hands over heart] [shocked expression] The curtains, walls and floor are all the exact same shade of green, and it is the most disgusting thing I have seen all day.

Ray: …Including the-

Madeline: [fans her face] [frowns] Yes, I am including the body.

Monokuma: [giggles to himself] But the blackened did such great work with the body! You should appreciate their art! Puhuhuhu~!

April: [leans on tube] [annoyed expression] You’re sickening.

Monokuma: [turns to show white side, acting bashful] Flattery will get you nowhere, my dear! [neutral expression] Now, if you could all find your designated podiums, we can get this show on the road!

**I didn’t have to look long for mine, since it ended up being directly in front of the elevator. Veronica took the podium to my left; Autumn the one to my right.**

**Also to my right was Adrian’s stand-in. Just three people were between me and where our now dead friend would’ve been standing, had it been anyone else who died. But instead it had been him. And the post between April and Maria was going to remind us of that until we solve this case.**

**This case… This murder.**

**One of the people in here, those who are still alive, killed him. Killed Adrian.**

**Adrian Strauss, the Ultimate Cake Decorator… He wasn’t the nicest, or the friendliest. He didn’t warm up a room by walking into it, or any of those ways you’re supposed to be able to describe a lost friend. He was disinterested and lazy, and wasn’t above insulting something he didn’t like. And he was a real pessimist, always assuming the worst-case scenario…**

**…But he had hope. He may have always been expecting the worst, but he honestly wanted the best, just as much as any of us. Probably even more.**

**And now we have to do this. We have to find out who killed him, together.**

**Separately, each of us have survived through the hell of the outside world. If _years_ of the world out there couldn’t kill us separately, then an hour or two in here, with everyone working together, is _nothing_.**

**And so, with that nagging feeling still in the back of my mind, the first class trial began.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I may have slightly overestimated the amount of blood a human body can contain. 30 gallons is the appropriate amount, right?
> 
> Anyway, now that the investigation is over, who could it be that killed Adrian? Feel free to speculate in the comments, and stay tuned in the next few days for a compiled list of those Truth Bullets. Unlike this, there should be no serious delay, since it's already finished.
> 
> As for the trial itself... I still have a week or two of break left. I might be able to get part of it done, provided it doesn't take too long for me to organize the progression or timing of the games.
> 
> Comments, criticism, speculation and questions are always quite appreciated.


	8. Chapter 1: Monokuma Theater Presents - Studio Life of Mutual Killing: The Movie: The Game: Truth Bullets

**Monokuma File #1**

The victim’s name was Adrian Strauss.

His body was found lying on the bed in his room around 10:20 pm. Estimated time of death is 9:45 pm.

There is a single puncture wound through the victim’s neck that resulted in death via blood loss.

Aside from that, the body has no other external injuries, and no chemicals such as poison were detected.

 

**Bloody Footprints**

There were several sets of bloody footprints in the hall outside of the crime scene, belonging to Madeline, Phoebe, Caleb and myself. All of these prints were created after the body was discovered, so none of them point to a culprit. Strange, the killer must have left some if they were in the room with all that blood… Maybe they were cleaned up?

 

**Ryan’s Account**

Someone apparently tried to open Ryan’s door around 10:00 pm. When he went to check, there was no evidence anyone had been there.

 

**Amount of Blood**

Adrian’s blood spattered everywhere during the murder. Anyone or anything in the room during the murder must have traces of blood on it.

 

**Blood-free Clothing**

According to Jacob’s butler’s eye, nobody who gathered in the hall after the murder had traces of blood on them except for Phoebe, Madeline, Caleb and myself.

 

**Brittany’s Key**

Brittany accidentally gave her key to Eric at 5:30 pm, right before the party started. She didn’t get it back until just before 10:20 pm, when the body was found. She was locked out of her own room for this entire period.

 

**Kitchen Knife**

A kitchen knife was found in a pool of blood next to Adrian’s body. According to John, it’s the correct size for the wound. One of the knife’s edges is serrated.

 

**Damaged Frosting Bag**

Adrian’s frosting bag. It was found completely empty, and had blood both on the inside and the outside. There was also a large hole in one side, which has been sealed with tape.

 

**Adrian’s Key**

Adrian’s room key wasn’t on his person, nor was it anywhere in his room. It was last seen attached to his frosting bag at approximately 9:30 pm.

According to Phoebe, the door to Adrian’s room had been locked sometime before 10:20 pm.

 

**Adrian’s eHandbook**

Adrian’s eHandbook wasn’t on his person or in his room. Its current whereabouts are unknown.

 

**Unusual Ceiling Bloodstain**

There was a large bloodstain on the ceiling above Adrian’s bed. One edge of it was perfectly straight, cutting off exactly at the edge of the removable panel.

 

**Secret Passageway**

There’s a secret passageway that connects the various bedrooms together. Each room has an entrance directly above the bed, just beyond a removable panel.

There are two passageways: one that connects the eight rooms in the West section, and another that connects the eight in the East section. The two passageways have no connection between them.

 

**Madeline and Ryan’s Meeting**

Ryan asked Madeline to meet him in his room at 10:15 pm. No-one answered the door when she rang the bell, so she had Phoebe unlock the door for her. She only tried to go to Ryan’s room at 10:15 pm.

 

**Swapped Nameplates**

Someone switched the nameplates of Adrian and Ryan’s rooms. It’s unclear when the swap occurred, but they had not been swapped back by the time the body was discovered.

 

**Missing Speaker**

Before the show a foot-tall speaker went missing from Storeroom 2. After the murder it was found in the storeroom hallway, damaged. The casing was bent inwards at the top, and there were cracks in various places. There was also a bit of blood smudged on one side, and traces of cake frosting on the top.

 

**State of Storeroom 8**

Storeroom 8 was in a state of serious disarray. Everything was scattered and out of place, making it impossible to tell if anything had been taken from the room.

 

**Room Distribution**

West Section: Adrian, Ryan, Eric, Will, Brittany, Emily, Phoebe and Maria.

East Section: John, Caleb, Jacob, Ray, Madeline, Veronica, April and Autumn.

 

**Bloody Hand Towel**

There was a hand towel in one of the washers covered in faded bloodstains. According to Veronica, it was halfway through an hour long wash that started around 10:05 pm.

 

**Storeroom Entry Log**

Reference

EY = Emily Yoder

PW = Phoebe Williams

BD = Brittany Day

VK = Veronica Kinder

AR = Autumn Rowe

MW = Madeline Watters

MC = Maria Corsano

AC = April Collins

JS = John Smith

JC = Jacob Centworth

RG = Raymond Glenshaw

WR = William Robinson

CT = Caleb Turnbull

AS = Adrian Strauss

RS = Ryan Sommer

ED = Eric Decker

 

Each storeroom has this pattern at the beginning, after the first entry: JS, MW and AC (alternating), VK, ED, RS, PW and JC (alternating), CT, WR.

Storeroom 4’s log ends with ED, AS, MC. According to Autumn, ED was entered at 5:00 pm. MC was entered during the investigation, around 10:35 pm. AS was entered between those two times.

Storeroom 5’s log has only two entries after the pattern: AS and MC. MC was entered during the investigation, around 10:35 pm. AS was entered sometime prior.

Storeroom 8’s log consists of the following list after the pattern: MW, BD, CT, AR, VK, BD, WR, RS, JS, AR. Notably, EY, MC, RG, and PW are completely absent from the list. AS appears only once, at the very beginning, from when Adrian opened the room on the first day.

 

**Ryan’s Suspicious Activity**

Adrian, Emily and I witnessed Ryan acting oddly around 9:30 pm. He was trying to approach the table where April and Madeline were sitting, but he was hesitating.

 

**THE ULTIMATE CAKE**

The cake Adrian made had ‘THE ULTIMATE CAKE’ written on it in red frosting. When he was decorating it, it read ‘THE ULTIMATE SHITTYCAKE’. The cake was still intact, but the frosting on the layer that reads ‘CAKE’ looked strange compared to the rest.

 

**Bloodstained Rope**

Several meters of thin rope were hidden in Storeroom 4. One of the ends had an oddly shaped bloodstain on it.

The bloodstain indicates that it was tied in a half-hitch when the blood got on the rope.

 

**Broken Stick**

There was a wooden stick hidden past the second shutter in Storeroom 5. It was broken at both ends, and shaped like a dowel, but had no notable characteristics beyond that.

 

**John’s Autopsy**

According to John, Adrian’s wounds are consistent with the Monokuma File. The blood on his hands indicates that he was trying to stop the bleeding for a short while before he died. Additionally, the fatal wound in his neck was symmetrical.

 

**Darkness in the Passage**

The secret passage above the rooms is extremely dark, with no light sources whatsoever. Navigating it without an outside light source is impossible.

 

**Ceiling Height**

The ceilings in the building are all unusually high. It makes it impossible for anyone shorter than 5’ 7” to reach the secret passageway unassisted.

 

**Trail of Blood**

There was a trail of blood splotches in the secret passageway starting at Adrian’s room. They continued left at an intersection, toward Brittany and Emily’s rooms. Monokuma ended the investigation before the trail could be followed all the way.

 

**Autumn’s Joke Book**

Autumn’s notepad, which contains bits of information, including the name, talent, height, favorite food, favorite color and primary fetish of everyone in the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made sure all the relevant details were in each Truth Bullet. Unless I accidentally left something out, this should be everything the Trial needs. There will still be Hangman's Gambits and a Panic Talk Action, though, and those obviously won't use Truth Bullets. Though I believe the Bullets by themselves actually provide enough info to indicate the proper killer, if not prove them.
> 
> Do tell me if the formatting of some of those Bullets is too stuffed. Especially the Storeroom Entry Log. That reference bloats it to high heaven, but I didn't want to force you guys to remember everyone's last names for the acronyms.
> 
> I still have no idea how long I'll take to make the next few chapters, but I'm going to try to have the first one done before my break ends in two weeks. Until then, though, please feel free to speculate in the comments! I'd love to hear what conclusions you guys have reached about the case from the information given: it gives me a better idea of what is and isn't working with the mystery.
> 
> Comments, criticism, speculation and questions, especially ones clarifying smaller details I haven't managed to work in, are always quite appreciated!


End file.
